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Some just told me that breastfeeding has no effect on a Mother/Child bond. I dont even know how to respond but that just ticks me off. They also said that a child nursing alot if probably because they need food..<br><br>
uhh... they could be in a growth spurt or teething. Of course it comes from a formula feeder!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: So, all that oxytocin in my bloodstream has no effect on me, huh? Or, is the argument that a woman produces just as much by holding the baby and the bottle? Funny, I doubt that children who nursed so long that they remember it would agree. I <i>know</i> women who have ff one and bf another who disagree.
 

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She said looking at, talking to, and holding a baby are ways to bond..<br><br>
Yes they are...<br><br>
and breastfeeding isnt??? Really ticks me off. I would say something but I know her in person and hate to piss her off. But then I think about the woman that might read that, and think ah I guess breastfeeding isnt that important.
 

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I know I need to say something, trying to think of how to word it nicely but matter of factly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kibba</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7927575"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She said looking at, talking to, and holding a baby are ways to bond..<br><br>
Yes they are...<br><br>
and breastfeeding isnt???</div>
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So, if feeding your child isn't a bonding thing, then why do many bottle (formula) feeders claim that they formula feed so the father has a chance to bond with the baby? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"> That makes no sense to me.<br><br>
And I don't know about others, but when I nurse my daughter I look at, talk to and hold her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kibba</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7927326"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Some just told me that breastfeeding has no effect on a Mother/Child bond. I dont even know how to respond but that just ticks me off. They also said that a child nursing alot if probably because they need food..<br><br>
uhh... they could be in a growth spurt or teething. Of course it comes from a formula feeder!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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The person who says this probably wants to feel better for not bfing their child.
 

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I ff my first two children, and my DS is EBF. I have bonded extremely well with all three. There are certainly more ways to bond other than breastfeeding, but to imply that breastfeeding has no effect on bonding at all seems ridiculous. That's just not true.<br><br>
At the same time, I don't feel any less bonded to my other children having not nursed them (other than DD for a month). It's a different bond, but no less of one. I did bond with them while feeding them, wearing them, co-sleeping, etc. The love, adoration, and wonder that I shower on my son as I look down at him while he's nursing is no different than the love, adoration, and wonder that I showered on my other children as I fed them from a bottle. The nutrition is different, and I do feel more physically connected to my son (even when he's not nursing, if that makes any sense).<br><br>
Hope that all makes sense. This kind of hit a nerve with me . . . I try not to feel guilt about the past, but there's such a huge part of me that wishes I had stuck with the nursing with my other two. I recognize that breastfeeding is the absolute best thing for a baby and I am so glad that I stuck to it this time and have developed this relationship with my son. But I love his brother and sister no less and I feel just as attached to them. I would hate for them to grow up thinking I didn't bond with them as I did their brother.
 

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I FF my son for a whole variety of reasons that I won't go into here.<br><br>
I think that breastfeeding is definitely a way to bond, as are holding and talking to your child, babywearing, skin to skin contact (e.g. bathing together, sleeping together), playing peekaboo, etc . . . However, I don't think that the mother-child bond is weakened or jeopardized if you don't do every single one of those things. What I think does jeopardize the bond is if you don't respond to your child's needs by reading their cues and meeting those needs quickly and reliably.<br><br>
What I think this mother may be reacting to is a perception out there that breastfeeding is the only, or the best way to bond, and that if you don't or can't do it then you'll never connect as closely with your child. Many of us who FF take offense at that concept. While what she said was clearly untrue, what she might have meant to say (and of course I'm only guessing) is that "Mother's can bond equally well with their children regardless of whether they breastfeed".<br><br>
When my son was tiny I made an effort to hold him, look at him, talk to or sing to him, stroke him etc . . . every single time I fed him. I NEVER fed him while on the phone, or at the computer, or while having a conversation with someone else. To me his hunger cues were a signal to me that he needed my undivided attention. We also bathed together, slept together, and I carried him everywhere (he never liked being worn, but loved Mama's arms). And yet, a number of times people made comments to me that they thought my bond was less strong than other mothers, simply because of the way he was fed. As you can imagine those comments hurt and are in my opinion simply untrue.
 
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