[momofadella]

I'm having a really difficult time in knowing what to do for my daughter. She's 8 months and just started crawling about a week ago. Well, since then she has repeatedly refused/shortened all her naps (still takes 2-3). Also, I usually get up to nurse her 2-3 times a night and she falls back to sleep within 20 minutes...not anymore. Now she nurses and pulls off and is wide awake begging to be put down to play/crawl. I have literally been awake with her for over an hour at each waking for the past week. It is so obvious that she is completely tired during the day and through the night, she's just fighting sleep really bad. It makes me feel bad because I used to be able to calm her by nursing and she'd always go to sleep at the breast. Now I wonder why it doesn't work anymore. I think she knows that the breast brings on sleep and she is fighting sleep so badly. Adella has always had issues with getting overtired and overstimulated when she doesn't get enough sleep and then she has trouble calming down and gets all frantic acting. So...I'm considering doing CIO. I've read on here that it could lead to early weaning - which I definitely don't want. I'm hoping to nurse her to at least 2 years old. How early are we talking??? I always go to her to nurse her, but I'm having to go to her 2, 3, 4 times in an hour. There comes a time when you need to do what is best for your baby, and in my eyes she desparetely needs sleep...I mean, being overtired is hurting her ability to settle and nurse too. What is the right way to handle this? I'm so torn and confused about what to do. I really want to protect our nursing relationship, but I also want to see my baby rested. Oh, I hope this passes quickly! Help please...

 

[LadyCatherine185]

CIO is NEVER what is best for your baby. And at this age, probably won't even work. It is very cruel, and she needs you.

I have a sleep fighter too, and when he is teething, he does the up-for-an-hour-or-two in the middle of the night thing, too. I just let him play until he is ready to sleep again. Yeah, it makes me tired, and him too, but he usually makes up for it with longer naps within the next few days, and the staying awake in the night thing usually only lasts for a couple days in a row.

I recommend cosleeping, so that you don't even have to get up out of bed. That way she doesn't have to fully wake up to nurse back to sleep either.

Could she be teething? Like I said, my DS does that when he is about to get a tooth. All sleeping goes to crap until that tooth comes through. He's not a great sleeper in general (wakes every 1-2 hours all night) but its even worse when there's teething involved.

 

[Friday13th]

The middle of the night wakings sound like teething/developmental leap. Not to say she won't keep waking up at night, DS is 16 months and still gets up to nurse several times. As far as the having a hard time getting her to sleep, we had the same problem around that age. We cut down a nap (to one, you could try two) and I spent a week or two going out of my way to keep him up and entertained when he would normally take the second nap (going out and doing more) and that really helped with the falling asleep at night.

CIO should not be an option, it may well not help and it is terrifying, especially to a child who's getting into seperation anxiety age as it is. You could read the No Cry Sleep Solution, a friend of mine had pretty good luck instituting that at around your DD's age.

 

[kittywitty]

It is just a stage. Please don't let your baby CIO. Seriously it will only do more harm.

 

[Megan73]

I'm having the same problem with my almost nine-month-old. I so understand wanting to do something, ANYTHING to get your LO to sleep when nursing to sleep doesn't work anymore.

But CIO isn't just cruel - it won't work. I'm just trying to ride out this stage. Can you enlist your husband to do some rocking and singing? I'm finding that DH has the "touch" I never had to learn because I could always just nurse to sleep. I'm really leaning on him these days!
Also, have you tried wearing your babe? I find a walk in the Ergo will often get my LO to nap.

 

[alegna]

CIO is neglect and is never okay.

Perhaps consider bringing her to your bed so you don't have to get up. When my babies have been wake-ish in the middle of the night, I play possum.

-Angela

 

[momofadella]

I am highly considering bringing her into our bed. I'm just not sure how to go about it, she's slept in her crib since she was 3 weeks old. I never thought we needed to co-sleep, as she has always just slept well on her own. Actually, as a first time mommy i did'nt even think co-sleeping was on option. I've learned so much in just 8 months and am continuing to do so. Now, with the help of you inspiring mamas, I intend to nurse at least 2+ years (when i originally only thought a year was an option), I babywear, and I'm really considering co-sleeping. I just can't stand the thought of letting her cry, it just goes against my mama instinct...but it seems like everyone keeps telling me to try it. Do you think it is possible to all the sudden co-sleep when she's slept alone for 8 months? Thanks to all you mamas for helping me remember what is really important...sometimes its hard when you're sleep deprived

 

[mamazee]

Bring her into your bed at least until she's through this phase so you can get some sleep. You'll be amazed how much more sleep you get. Nursing makes me all dozy so even when dd wakes up, I get all sleepy while I nurse and when she's done I fall right asleep. Sometimes I'll wake to use the bathroom and I'll wish dd would wake up and nurse because I know that will make me tired enough to fall back asleep. But if you're having to get up and move from room to room, you're going to be very very awake after a feeding, and it will take a while to get back to sleep each time.

 

[momofadella]

Thank you for the advice. Now, do i put her to bed in her crib and then when she wakes the first time, bring her in with us. I just don't know how cs works...she goes to bed at 6:30????

 

[mamazee]

Well there are lots of options, but yes if she's going to bed that early then that would be a good way to do it. Though I will add that putting her bedtime back a bit might help with the whole problem in the first place. I'm not surprised she isn't wanting to nap much if she's going to bed that early.

 

[Kappa]

I think this is a problem time will resolve. She will go back to her previous pattern or start a new one as quickly as this "problem" started. My opinion is that you don't have to do anything, if you want to try co-sleeping try it but if it doesn't work the way you think it should don't allow yourself to get frustrated in trying to force your daughter to change her habits. I know you are sleep deprived but give it another week or so. My habit was to feed my baby some type of cracker or cereal and give him some water (which he loves) and he would settle back in more quickly. I did this for 2 weeks, thinking it was going to be a new habit, now he rarely fully wakes up.

 

[To-Fu]

Moved this post from Breastfeeding to the Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting.

 

[battymama]

That sounds fine

there are no hard and fast rules to co-sleeping. I really think it will help. when my little one does the night waking and wants to play i just let her play in the bed, with the lights off she often goes back to sleep out of pure bordem

 

[sept15lija]

That's what we do, put him in his crib to sleep around 8 or 9pm and then he usually is in bed with us somewhere between 1am and 5am (oh I long for the days when he used to sleep until 5!

). I agree this is a stage...and while she seems tired she'll probably make it up somewhere or another...I find my DS fights sleeps sometimes and then all of a sudden one day he'll take a 3 hour nap and be fine again, they really do get what they need, don't worry too much...just try to get through it, and co-sleeping may be what you need to get enough sleep yourself.

 

[hotharmony]

you might want to check out the no cry sleep solution book, it has really helped us with getting LO to sleep more/longer and it has some good guidelines for safe sleeping with both crib sleeping and co sleeping

 

[JustAnotherBrick]

DS woke up a lot during the night at that age too. I seriously considered CIO at desperate moments but never went through with it. I know it wouldn't work and it would just make things harder on both of us

Right now he starts the night alone in my bed then I join him... but when he was that age, he started the night in his crib then I would bring him in bed with me whenever he woke up (and I was in bed). It worked well for us. There were nights where he woke up every HOUR and frankly -- it was easier to deal with it when he was right next to me.

You can just experiment and see what works best and what helps you all get more sleep. We've gone through several different sleeping arrangements since he was born --- but it always ends with us cosleeping

 

[Thing1Thing2]

I agree, you should co-sleep, but please check out some co-sleeping safety rules first.

http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5...ing-safety.htm

 

[sunflowergirll]

We didn't cosleep for my first one, but planning on it for my second.

Anyway, when we went through tough phases (and they really were just PHASES), I'd get up as much as I could. When I reached my breaking point, I sent DH in. Often, he just rocked/sung to her for a while until he reached his breaking point. At that point, I'd had a little bit more sleep and was able to go back in.

Cosleeping wasn't something that we were comfortable with at that time. That's what worked for us then.

 

[mjg013]

Anakin is 8 months old and he does this too. We cosleep but he goes to bed in his crib which is in our room then I bring him to our bed when he wakes up. If he wants to play then I just stick him between us and let him have at it. After he's done attacking us and trying to suck our faces off and laughing at his antics he eventually gets tired and then he lies down and will nurse to sleep or sometimes he'll just lie down and go to sleep.

 

[mamabutterfly]

Look for books by Dr Jay Gordon or Elizabeth Pantley to give you lots of great cosleeping info.

Once difference for you should be that she will hopefully not wake fully as she is doing now. At her first sign of rousing, you will probably pat/shush or nurse her and she may not fully wake.

Good luck, & remember this too shall pass!

My 1 year old needs me at night, 7 year old doesn't (...and actually I miss my older girl!

)