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I have been bfing our nine month old (first born) from the beginning and plan to continue for a few years; however, after her birth I have found myself practically lacking any sexual drive. I guess it's somewhat normal, considering that I'm bfing but my husband feels so insecure about it. He says things like "you're not attracted to me anymore" and "you don't love like you used to" and gets all depressed.It seems so weird to think that sex is SO important for a relationship! I try to pretend I'm interested but it just ends in disaster. I don't know what to do! It's not my fault that my body doesn't really want sex but he acts like I'm betraying him for not giving it to him often which just makes the problem worse because I start feeling guilty and insecure. Any moms have advice? Will bfing less often help?
 

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OH MY GOSH! This scenario you are talking about just happens to be the reason I am sitting at the computer at this late hour instead of being in bed. My husband has been exactly the same way about my complete lack of libido. I am not sure what to do about him either. However, regarding bf and libido, I would NOT bf less often to increase it. I don't think your child should eat less often b/c your husband is feeling this way. He is grown and can fend for himself, while your baby <i>needs</i> your attention and nourishment. Also, I think the bf keeps many women from menstruating which is intimately (no pun intended) related to libido. In other words, if you are ovulating you will have desire for sex, if you are not you won't. Make sense? Thus, until your baby is about 9 mo or your period comes back you may not want sex that much. I am struggling with this too but am more angry with my husband's insensitive behavior and unwillingness to listen to reason than I am concerned with coaxing my libido back to its previous level. I hope I haven't been so straightforward that I've offended you. I totally get where you are coming from and wish you the best.
 
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