[JeDeeLenae]

How come we never hear stuff like this. When I was preparing to BF with DS1, I was prepared for the worst. Engorgement, leaks, sore boobs, mastititis (sp), dry & cracked nipples. I was in no way ready to simply have an easy time with it. But, I did, both times. I feel like I don't get to share my story because it doesn't happen often enough, but then wonder if the reason I don't think it happens enough is that more people feel like me.

Wouldn't it make a difference if someone told you BF may be super easy and you might have no problems from the start, rather than bombarding you with all the negatives only?

 

[siobhang]

Hmm, I don't know. I expected bfing to be hard (I had a breast reduction, so I was even prepared to not have full supply). It was hard the first few weeks, but I expected it, so I was okay. And in fact, I have full supply (rare but not unheard of in bfars), so I consider myself lucky - I was willing to do MUCH more than I needed to in the end.

I think most women who have challenges are told that breastfeeding is easy, natural, etc, but don't have anyone around them who has BTDT, ya know? And when they run into latch issues at 3am with a screaming baby, they freak out, get scared, and often give up right then and there.

So perhap hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, is the best approach?

Thoughts?

Siobhan

 

[accountclosed3]

it fits int o the adage--prepare for the worst, expect the best.

i think a lot of women romanticly assume that BF will be easy, and when it isn't, they're frustrated and disillusioned. So, focus is set on how breastfeeding can be difficult and how to work through those difficulties.

but, BF can be easy for some women--i would say probably most since that's how we're "designed" to work--but it may not be easy for every or any given woman.

i expect that BF will be easy for me, when my time comes, but if it isn't, i know where to go for information, help, and support should anything arise. I"m prepared for worst, expecting the best.

 

[*caitlinsmom*]

Oh, I think it would make a huge difference!!!!

and, for the record, I had a pretty easy time too. I heard all about how hard it would be, cracked, bleeding nipples, mastitis, clogged ducts, latching issues, you name it.
I had a very hard night the night before my milk came in. DD was hungry and just not happy with the colostrum I had to offer. But once my milk came in, it really was pretty easy for me. Any soreness I had was gone in less than a week.
That said, I really feel for the mamas on this board who have had a difficult time, and I salute them for perservering!

 

[Ammaarah]

I think it would be good for women to hear a variety of experiences...and to not assume their experience will be one way or the other.

Our first week was tough, but after that, I loved it so much. It wasn't always what I would call easy, but it was much easier than I expected.

 

[BensMom]

I agree with PP. Somehow the message that BF *is* easy has leaked to the general public. So most people I know, at the first sign of trouble, just go with formula. I personally researched enough to know it could be hard, and it was, and that made me more determined to stick with it.

Even with #2, I had nursed already, so I should have been very confident. But at 2am, when the baby was not latching and the nurses were pushing formula, I still wavered. Getting started can be hard. I agree, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

 

[JeDeeLenae]

Wow, I didn't think people were getting the idea that BFing was easy at all... I never did. Every book I read, TV show I watched, etc said the exact opposite. I just wish people could hear different stories about it. Especially on the baby shows I see on TV.. those are super frustrating because it seems like every one that BF has a bad experience and starts supplementing and in their follow up, most said it was too hard.

 

[zinemama]

Actually, hearing my mother and all my friends tell me about how super easy breastfeeding was for them really made me feel worse about having problems with it. Like I was some kind of freak of nature.

 

[Hollin]

I think a better message is it *will* be easy after the first few weeks ( I know it's not true for everyone, but overall the newborn phase is the most challenging). When I felt ready to give up and it was so hard to get him latched on it was good to be reminded that it wouldn't be like that forever.

 

[scatterbrainedmom]

i has such a hard problem with my first because all i got was how super easy breastfeeding was. i thought something was wrong with ME

 

[momtoNatalee]

Bfing started out PERFECT for me.....never even had a touch of soreness or engorgment(sp?) that was was painful. It really couldn't have started out any better. Anyway, at about 6 weeks- 3months over active let-down was misery and then she went on a nursing strike due to reflux and food senstivity(I guess) never had a bottle in her life......I'll stop rambling-long story, that is for a whole nother thread.

Just wanted to say that bfing can be super easy from the start!!!!!!!!!!

 

[meganeilis]

I try really hard to tell any pg women I know that DS and I never had any problems nursing. No pain, no supply issues, no latch problems. I don't do this to brag, just to let them know that not everyone experiences the horror stories you hear. The same way I tell pg women that I didn't feel much pain until I was 7 cm dilated. Women love to tell war stories about awful labors and terrible nursing problems for some reason, even though we know it scares the bejesus out of expectant moms.

 

[hubris]

Add me to those who had never heard anything about breastfeeding being hard. I hadn't heard it was easy, either, I just assumed that it was natural and instinctive and therefore would be easy.

Mostly, it was...except when it wasn't. But my mom was very reassuring and I didn't feel like I was broken, I just realized that like anything else, it's part nature and part nurture.

I wish people wouldn't qualify breastfeeding in general as either "easy" or "hard". It oversimplifies things. Besides, breastfeeding your baby isn't about choosing something for convenience or the challenge, it's about choosing what's right for your child, regardless of the difficulty rating.

 

[ABand3]

I had the same expereince with my first - i was prepared for lots of misery and hard work, and it was so easy. My second was a little more difficult, he had a funny latch for a while, and #3 is back to being super easy,

I guess it's like labor - everyone's different, and each person might have different experience with each child. And we usually just hear (or remember) the horror stories.

 

[momtoNatalee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by meganeilis I try really hard to tell any pg women I know that DS and I never had any problems nursing. No pain, no supply issues, no latch problems. I don't do this to brag, just to let them know that not everyone experiences the horror stories you hear. The same way I tell pg women that I didn't feel much pain until I was 7 cm dilated. Women love to tell war stories about awful labors and terrible nursing problems for some reason, even though we know it scares the bejesus out of expectant moms.

I agree!!!!!

 

[StrawberryFields]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae Wouldn't it make a difference if someone told you BF may be super easy and you might have no problems from the start, rather than bombarding you with all the negatives only?

Yes, it would have made a difference--I may have been pushed off the edge into formula feeding. Although no one TOLD me that BF might be super easy, I just assumed it would be easy and natural. When it wasn't, I was heartbroken, scared, and overwhelmed. My nipples hurt, my baby was screaming and fussing, popping on and popping off and nursing around the clock, and then the icing on the cake: my milk coming in. Suddenly I am faced with breasts so large, so leaky, and so tender and I had no idea that this wasn't what it would be like for the entire duration of our nursing relationship. So at 11 pm, crying, I sent dh out for a can of formula.

I never opened the can and the next day my midwife and her friend, both LLL leaders, showed up to help. They were my salvation because they assured me that engorgement was normal, that sore nipples were normal, that my difficulties were completely normal and that it would all go away as my body got accustomed to breastfeeding.

I think if people had told me beforehand that nursing might be easy-breezy, coupled with my own assumptions that it would come naturally, it would have been enough to push me over the edge when it wasn't. If LLL hadn't stepped in to tell me that breastfeeding WASN'T necessarily easy and that pain and difficulty in the beginning was NORMAL, I might have been too scared and frustrated to wait it out.

The fact that every single person I know has quit breastfeeding because "it hurt" or "the baby couldn't latch" or "I didn't have enough milk" makes me think that more women than not have troubles in the beginning and could be served better by being prepared for it to be difficult. If it isn't, then they can feel like champions but if it is, at least they won't end up feeling scared and inadequate.

 

[JeDeeLenae]

Maybe it's just me. I felt inadequate because I didn't run into those problems. I never had the idea it was easy. But, I'm not complaining.

 

[snowbunny]

I find that many women (who end up FFing) assumed BFing would be easy because it was natural. They then end up giving up if they encounter difficulties only to feel either disappointment in themselves and/or anger toward BFing advocates when they realize the problems they encountered were common and manageable.

I think the message should be that BFing involves work and commitment, that you may encounter problems and you may not, that problems have solutions excluding FFing and that, ultimately, sticking it out is worth it.

 

[Rico'sAlice]

As a not-mama-yet, I am glad that the wide variety of experiences I have read about have prepared me for the worst. I think that knowledge of how to overcome certain challenges and that they are not unique or absolute will help me persevere should I face any of them.

But I am very glad that my own mama has made me able to hope for the best! When I first started reading about pain, cracked nipples etc. I asked if she had had any problems. She said, "Oh no! It felt really good!"
She had been C-sectioned (me "emergency" due to FTP, and younger Brother planned due to "big head") and they kept bringing her bottles in the hospital. She was not terribly educated about these specific things (well educated in general, but not like an MDC addict) and had no help at all. But she just ignored the formula and latched us on. She weaned at a year b/c she thought she needed to, but was not tired of BFing then or having any problems at all. No thrush, mastitis, nothing.

So it is possible to have everything go just about perfectly, even w/o ideal initial conditions.

 

[Blue Lotus]

I had the same attitude of 'hope for the best, but expect the worst' as well. I feel really lucky that I have a very supportive dh and family, a doula at the hospital for the birth, and a couple of LC's as well to reassure me when I was worried about low milk supply. I think I was really lucky that I had very few bfing issues (some soreness for a week or so and 1 day of engorgement when my milk came in), and dd latched on like she knew what to do within 30 seconds of delivery. I realize that my experience is probably not the norm, and I really admire you mamas that have major issues and persevere through them to give your babies the best.

: You ladies rock!