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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Alright~ I was one of teh moms who when I saw other moms always getting cnady for their kids at teh check out I would wisper to DH that woudl never be us. Well, here we are!! mayeb.. here is the story
katie is 15 months and awesome to shop with! We have a ablast, but I really keep it ti a minimum and only when I really need to. I plan shopping for when she is well rested and has a full tummy, so she si really generlaly pretty good, and if she gets upet, we basically leave- usually what we are shoppingf or is not that important. So, here is how it started, i had errons to run, Katie was awesome all day, but I felt guilty becuase she did not get anytime to play by her own rules. We were in the fabric store so I picked out a shiney swatch of fabric for her to play with. I was so happy then and felt no more guilt. Next time, I felt bad again and took her on one of those quarter machines outside the store. Next time I picked out a small toy etc etc... she continues to be a gem wheil we are shopping and likes helping me, so I dont know why i even feel bad, but I do! Teh part she does not like is the carseat... anyway! Here is my fear. What if she comes to expect stuff for being good at the store? I dont think I would want her begging for treats or getting so frustrted when i do not have a quarter... so do I need to stop treating her? Right now she is like the best shopping gal pal ever, she tells me everything is cute at the stores and oows and awes with me, and everything is yumma yum at the grocery store. She even carried a purse with her and pretend to pay with a plastic library card- she rocks! And she si fun to shop for and so easy to spoil...But am I setting myself up here?
Any suggestions?
Thank you!
Kelly S
 

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I don't consider what you are doing a bribe. I consider it good planning, considering your dd's age, stage, and pov, and making a boring activity fun for her. What could possibly be wrong with that?


If you are setting yourself up, it is for a child who trusts you to continue to consider her pov--which you will, anyway. Cause you are just that kind of mama
 

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Why do you feel guilty? On one hand I don't think there is anything wrong with buying our kids occassional treats, but guilt based parenting is not a great thing. She sounds like a happy little girl who enjoys spending time with her mommy, so stop feeling guilty!

I used to buy more kids more treats when we running errands, but they ended up as clutter in our house!
We switched to stopping at the park or library, letting them pick fresh fruit etc.)

I want them to have fun and have something to look forward to (esp. if we are stuck doing something tedious like the DMV) but it isn't about manipulating them. I would never say, "if you are good, we can do X" instead I say, "I know this is dull, when we are done we will do X." Doing X isn't based on their behavoir, it is just something to look forward to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the support!
I know, it sounds like itis more my guilt issues than anything, huh?
I like the idea of just letting the fun treat be somthing we needed to do anyway, or picking out a fresh fruit at the grocery store, we do anyway, so i could make that her job while we are there... good idea!
Has anyone had to deal with kids begging???
i dont know how i will react to that if/when it happens....
Thank you
Kelly
 

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i don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing - even if you look at it as rewarding good behavior. that's a GOOD thing. especially if you do these things to PREVENT her from being cranky, not once she IS cranky and use it as a bribe in that sense...but even so, those are all things that are good planning anyway! GO YOU!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by KellyandKatie
Has anyone had to deal with kids begging???
i dont know how i will react to that if/when it happens....
Thank you
Kelly
Yep! Seemed to be a phase she went thru in the threes....seems like we see a lot less of it as she nears 4.
But, sweetie, your dd is only just a babe! This would be like me worrying about dd not doing her homework....we'll handle that if/when it happens. Begging is, for the most part, developmentally normal for young kids. I don't think that there is anything you can do at 1 yo to prevent it, although I guess there are things you can do to encourage it. But you are not doing those things. Relax! And enjoy your shopping buddy!
 
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