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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We are having a problem with our eldest son (8). He has taken to squeezing, pushing, pinching and generally getting physical with his younger brother (5) when things get heated between them. This has been going on for a couple of months and I usually separate them and make it very clear that it isn't on. What can I do? I thought maybe it was school derived, but after subtle questioning there doesn't seem to be any thing wrong there. If anyone has any suggestions they would be very welcome.<br>
Thanks<br>
Linda:
 

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I don't have any great advice, all I can tell you is of my own experience. As a child I bullied my little brother. I yelled at him, called him names and even hit him. As an adult and looking back on it all I realized that it true foundations were in jealousy and anger. My parents broke up when I was 4 and I had a lot of issues around that. And my brother was definately my mom's baby. I was older and, personality wise, more independent. So my mom tended be more doting and protective of my brother. There are of course so many layers and so many events that shape a sibling relationship so I hate to sound so simplistic. But my guess is that there might be some roots of jealousy and anger in your older son's behaviour. He might need some special one-on-one time with mom or dad. He might be feeling a lack of control around something important in his life and can't express it. Baisically, what I'm saying is give ds a chance to really open up to you, and maybe he might be able to tell you what is going on for him when he bullies his younger brother.<br><br>
And just to let you know, that now as adults, my brother and I have a really close relationship. So siblig rivalry as children won't necessarily scar their relationship forever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Food for thought, and you are probably right, I guess I do tend to be more doting on the younger one. A few issues I will have to deal with there.<br>
Thankyou<br>
linda
 

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I agree about the jealousy possibility. I can see the same thing happen with my girls. The older one definitely gets jealous of the baby and a few times when I have been playing with the baby, I've looked over and caught the saddest little look in my older dd's eyes. It breaks my heart! She loves her sister dearly but can also take out her frustrations on her as well. My older dd is much more patient and kind to her little sister after she has had uninterrupted attention from me.
 
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