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i hear ya. i'll just share a tiny story of my own path to healing (note-- i'm not reading the other replies).... for what it's worth.

i actually had a traumatic birth therapist, and i really dont know how i would have survived without her.... i recomend it!

some people will point you in certain directions... tell you talking about it with other moms will help.... for me, that was the opposite of true. ICAN was too angry a place imo for healing. mdc, in fact, was as well. for me, i finally realized that my own internal process was most important.... so i kind of shut myself off from the "noise".... birth stories, other moms, anyone with "good intentions"... etc.

DS was born in april. i did my shut-down/healing this summer..... he's almost 8 months now, and i never imagined i'd feel this ok with it all.

i'm not suggesting that what worked for me is a good idea for other people-- you know you best. i'm just saying that all the things OTHER people thought would help me made it worse for me...... and when i finally shut the noise out and let myself tell me how to heal from it.... well, the process went much more smoothly.

anyhow. HUGS to you!!!!!!
 
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