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It has been almost 3 years and still very sad when I think about my csection. I am pregnant with my second, and planning a homebirth. I know how important it is for me to be in a good place emotionally. I decided to see a birth trauma therapist and it is helping.
 

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Originally Posted by Birth Junky View Post
Thank you all for your kind and wonderful posts. I don't really know where to go from here . . . often I think that the only route to healing for me will come through a successful HBAC. DH and I aren't planning baby #2 for at least a couple more years, though. And even then, I wonder if the HBAC might just make things worse, by making me FULLY realize what I missed the first time around.
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That's what I hope for too. I am planning an HBAC. My sister just had an HBAC and it was healing for her. I noticed the difference immediately talking to her, the tears of joy, the elation, when after her csection she had no energy, was so sad. The photos she sent me of her after having her first son and her second son are like night and day. She looks so calm and peaceful after her HBAC birth. I am really looking forward to mine.
 
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