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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ahhhhh! I am so frustrated with my MIL. She is already telling me how to raise/discipline a child and I am not even pregnant yet!
I am starting to wonder if I am having troubles ttc just so I don't have to subject a grandchild to her.
I can't believe I just said that.


She is so negative, everything/one is stupid, moron, idiot. She hates my new puppy because she is "too aggressive" (the dog jumps up on people still--the pup is ONLY 12 WEEKS OLD!) She insinuates that we are "bad parents" already because we can't potty train our dog in 2 days (she is doing very well only an accident seldomly...)

She raised my dh with an iron fist and he was spanked quite a lot. I do not want to raise my child anything like she did/does! Nor does my dh.

Can all this be causing a problem with me conceiving!

Thanks for letting me vent

Cheryl
 

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cheryl-
First of all let me give you my heartfelt sympathy!
s
that sounds terrible! what a B%$#@!
i am lucky enough to be graced with a wonderful MIL, however my own mother is very much like your MIL. she is always right i am always wrong especially about parenting...but i havent talked to her in almost 2 years now! after she called CPS on me our relationship was OVER.
i think that she is not the cause of your not being pregnant yet, BUT she might become a big problem with many other issues when you do get your little baby..
i think you should "put her on a diet" - i read that in another MDC board about crazy moms- and see her as little as possible. you dont need the stress, because STRESS can make it harder to concieve and she is a definate stresser- and you baby is not going to need lots of time with that grama!
hang in there!
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just for you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Liz. I really just needed to get that out. They are leaving town for 3 weeks this weekend so it will be a good break from them for awhile. I hate that I feel this way about her. I really wish we had a good relationship and we saw eye to eye.

Anyway, thanks for the support.


Cheryl
 

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Cheryl,

I've got a MIL who I don't want near my kids, fortunately she lives far away.

If I can make an unsolicited suggestion, I think your puppy is great practice on your MIL, work out all the ways you'll diffuse her when it comes to your kids. A counselor of mine was great emotional akido, which not meeting force with force, but redirecting force so that the attacker is spent and you are fine.

So every time you want to explain how wrong she is (my MIL can turn me into a massive debater of issues I don't care about in a 3-day visit because she is always right) try out new diffusing phrases "that's interesting" "thank you for your concern" "It's so sweet of you to worry"

I'm probably just psyching myself up for her next visit. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks gonnabeamom. I will try that. And I so know what you mean by the debating over things I don't even really "care" about just to prove a point.
:

Good luck on your next visit


Cheryl
 

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My MIL and also my FIL are like that. It is so hard to deal with that every time. I don't think she is caussing you any kind of infertility but the stress can do it. Just a quick tip: Make sure you and your dh agree of what kind of education and parenting techniques you want to use with your baby before she/he is here. If you have your husband's support then she can say what ever she wants and wont bother you that much. I agree with phrases like: "thank you for your concern" etc. The biggest issues are always: feeding, sleeping and discipline, so make sure you talk about it

Good look and hugs!
 
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