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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ahhhhh! I am so frustrated with my MIL. She is already telling me how to raise/discipline a child and I am not even pregnant yet! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> I am starting to wonder if I am having troubles ttc just so I don't have to subject a grandchild to her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> I can't believe I just said that.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
She is so negative, everything/one is stupid, moron, idiot. She hates my new puppy because she is "too aggressive" (the dog jumps up on people still--the pup is ONLY 12 WEEKS OLD!) She insinuates that we are "bad parents" already because we can't potty train our dog in 2 days (she is doing very well only an accident seldomly...)<br><br>
She raised my dh with an iron fist and he was spanked quite a lot. I do not want to raise my child anything like she did/does! Nor does my dh.<br><br>
Can all this be causing a problem with me conceiving!<br><br>
Thanks for letting me vent<br><br>
Cheryl<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hippie.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hippie">
 

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cheryl-<br>
First of all let me give you my heartfelt sympathy!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s<br>
that sounds terrible! what a B%$#@!<br>
i am lucky enough to be graced with a wonderful MIL, however my own mother is very much like your MIL. she is always right i am always wrong especially about parenting...but i havent talked to her in almost 2 years now! after she called CPS on me our relationship was OVER.<br>
i think that she is not the cause of your not being pregnant yet, BUT she might become a big problem with many other issues when you do get your little baby..<br>
i think you should "put her on a diet" - i read that in another MDC board about crazy moms- and see her as little as possible. you dont need the stress, because STRESS can make it harder to concieve and she is a definate stresser- and you baby is not going to need lots of time with that grama!<br>
hang in there!<br>
special <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/dust.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dust"> just for you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Liz. I really just needed to get that out. They are leaving town for 3 weeks this weekend so it will be a good break from them for awhile. I hate that I feel this way about her. I really wish we had a good relationship and we saw eye to eye.<br><br>
Anyway, thanks for the support. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Cheryl
 

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Cheryl,<br><br>
I've got a MIL who I don't want near my kids, fortunately she lives far away.<br><br>
If I can make an unsolicited suggestion, I think your puppy is great practice on your MIL, work out all the ways you'll diffuse her when it comes to your kids. A counselor of mine was great emotional akido, which not meeting force with force, but redirecting force so that the attacker is spent and you are fine.<br><br>
So every time you want to explain how wrong she is (my MIL can turn me into a massive debater of issues I don't care about in a 3-day visit because she is always right) try out new diffusing phrases "that's interesting" "thank you for your concern" "It's so sweet of you to worry"<br><br>
I'm probably just psyching myself up for her next visit. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks gonnabeamom. I will try that. And I so know what you mean by the debating over things I don't even really "care" about just to prove a point. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:<br><br>
Good luck on your next visit <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Cheryl<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hippie.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hippie">
 

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My MIL and also my FIL are like that. It is so hard to deal with that every time. I don't think she is caussing you any kind of infertility but the stress can do it. Just a quick tip: Make sure you and your dh agree of what kind of education and parenting techniques you want to use with your baby before she/he is here. If you have your husband's support then she can say what ever she wants and wont bother you that much. I agree with phrases like: "thank you for your concern" etc. The biggest issues are always: feeding, sleeping and discipline, so make sure you talk about it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Good look and hugs!
 
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