Mothering Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
563 Posts
My situation is different, but I can relate. I also have always wanted 3-4. Then after DS we've been hit by some totally unexpected IF stuff and even if I get pg asap, they will be close to 5 years apart. I've been agonizing over what is right for everyone in the family considering that the spacing is going to be SO different from what we imagined. Will it be hard for DS if after five years suddenly he finds himself with, say, two siblings close in age (if we are so fortunate)? At the time he's starting to get into that big-kid fun stuff, we probably won't be able to do much of it, etc. Will I be too exhausted to be able to continue all the great stuff we're doing together, me and DS? I had to make peace with the idea that my family is not going to look exactly as I imagined, and now it doesn't bother me as much. In the end DH and I decided we're going to try for two more close together (I'm in my early 30s) and after that we'll see. For me, the idea of regretting a child I didn't have is beyond terrifying. I love being pregnant, I love kids, I love being a mom, I want more - and I am able at this point in my life to deal with going back to the urgent needs of small babies, I feel. Funny because after DS I thought, wow, I'd better do this again quick because I'm not sure I'll be able to happily resume it once I'm out of it - but actually I don't feel that way. (Well, ask me when I have been awake for 22 hours with a colic-y baby...)

Would it help you to set a "deadline" for the decision? Or to try out the two decisions, one at a time - take a week and see how it feels to accept "yes, one more" and then the next week, do a test run with "no, we're done"? (My crazy ways of getting to a decision I feel at peace with when I'm stuck...)
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top