Can I actually do this????

You can absolutely do it! It sounds like you already know this, in a way. You know that in the past, it wasn't that you lacked the ability to give birth without medication, but rather that you lacked sufficient preparation for it.

The fact that you're asking whether you can do it does not mean you can't. It means that you know you WANT to do it, and you know you need something to bolster you, and you think maybe people here can help provide that.

I would highly recommend reading anything you can about coping methods, and maybe taking a Birthing From Within class or something similar. IMO, a multi-session class would probably be best for you, since what you need is a new approach to birth, not a one-day refresher.

The BFW book is very reassuring about labor and birth and I felt like it was an empowering thing to read. Dr. Sears has a Birth Book that contains a chapter that deals with fear and pain, and I think that would be a good chapter to read. It sounds like you need to get yourself into a different mental space regarding labor pain, what it means, what's happening in your body, how to cope with it, how to work *with* it instead of against it, etc.

Do you have a local birth network of any sort, a birth circle, support group? Somebody at the birth center may be able to point you in the right direction.

Who were your support people during your previous births? Are there people in your life who are unsupportive of unmedicated birth and who fill you with horror stories or doubts? Was there any other sort of support you wished you had had but didn't? Do you think hiring a doula might be helpful?

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YES!

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Actually, I think if you ask, the answer is yes. By asking, you are already considering the possibility that you can, and opening the door to receive what you need to feel prepared. All you need to start with is that one little bit of hope that maybe you CAN do it, then you can surround yourself with information, birthstories, tools and people that support the fact that you can.

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Then don't think about NOT doing it naturally. Abandon the thought that you can't do it and run with everything that says you can. You already kind of did with #2, right, when the epi didn't work? This time you will be prepared for it. It's ok to say in labor, 'I can't do this, please give me drugs' - accept that you might say that, and know you can still have a med-free birth. Prepare your partner, birth team, doula (?) to help you with other ways of coping when you feel like you can't do it.

You can do it, and I bet you will.

I've been in your shoes. My first birth was with an epidural, which I BEEEEEEEGGED for the second I stepped foot in the hospital at 4cms. The pain was horrific and I could never imagine going through an unmedicated delivery.

I started researching and chose to birth at a birth center with my next babies. I had the same fears as you -- will the pain be too much? How will I get through it? I don't know if I can do it -- it hurt so much last time!

Let me reassure you that you CAN do it. Your body is not a lemon. Being in an out of hospital environment with lots of support will make a huge difference for you. I once read a midwifery article that said, "Pain medication is used because of the absence of labor support." Having a supportive midwife/doula stay with you as much as you want/need in labor makes the experience totally different. Being in complete control of your environment makes the experience totally different. Not being strapped to monitors lying on your back in a bed makes the experience totally different.

Will it hurt? Yeah, probably. But you won't die from the pain. You'll find coping methods. And you'll emerge on the other side SO glad you had such a great birth experience.

I bonded much more quickly with my babies that were born after an unmedicated delivery. And I have wonderful memories of my births. When I lie in bed at night nursing my baby, I'll often think back to my birth experiences. I never think fondly of my medicated birth experience. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm unhappy with my child, it's just that the birth couldn't be compared to the others in terms of the wonder and emotional connection I felt to my babies and husband after an unmedicated delivery.

You can do it!

It is sad that we learn to fear childbirth so much in our society, but there is not need for it.

Do a lot of reading and research about natural childbirth! Surround yourself with people that believe that childbirth is something natural and beautiful and are willing to support you through your choice.

If you decide to go for it, find yourself a place that will allow you to be in tune with your body and respect your wishes! Who knows? Maybe after all your research even a homebirth may begin to appeal to you? It did take me 3 babies to realize it was something for me Oh, and find a doula to be there with you - wherever you choose to be

The one thing that really stuck in my head when I gave birth was a passage I had read in a book (unfortunately, I don't remember which book - it might possibly have been Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth) which basically said that giving birth is a mind game - if you believe you can't do it, then you can't. But if you believe you CAN do it, then you can and you will. At one point during my labour a little voice inside of me said, "I can't do this!" but then I remembered that one passage and I told myself, "I CAN do this!" and I was able to get over that hump.

A friend of mind who homebirthed also experienced that hump. She said that she cried out loud, "I can't do this!" but her doula grabbed her by the shoulders and said, right in her face, "YES, YOU CAN!" That helped her immensely!

Mama, it is such an honest and sincere question that you are asking - whether you can birth naturally/unmedicated or not. I believe that you can. I hope that you will come to believe that you can because I think that will make a world of a difference. Might I offer some suggestions? I hope you don't mind. They are:

1. Arrange lots of birth support. Find people who will support you, encourage you, love you, and help take care of you to be there while you labour.

2. Learn as much as you can about natural childbirth, from people who have had positive experiences (either giving birth and/or helping women give birth). Talk to the women here on MDC and read as much as you can (I really loved Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth). Find out which birth preparation classes have been helpful to other women and enroll in them if you can.

3. Avoid people, books, online posts, etc. where birth is talked about in a negative way. You have already had painful experiences, you've BTDT. Now is the time for you to have a completely wonderful experience.

A couple of other things helped me, maybe they'll help you too:

- I chose a homebirth and told myself that medication for pain management was not an option. And, really, it wasn't because I was birthing at home.

- During each contraction, I counted backwards from 100 (in my head, not out loud). For example:
breath in ("100!")
breath out ("99!")
breath in ("98!")
breath out ("97!")
This was my pain management technique! I knew that before I counted down to 0 my contraction would be over. There were a few contractions in there, though, where I knew they'd be long so I started counting at 110. I started counting backwards from 100 in my head for each contraction and that's what got me through. Just focusing on one contraction at a time.

Good luck to you, mama. I have confidence that you will have a great birth.

of course you can. you might be like me at the end between ctx going "oh, no, I need drugs, I canot do this" at the same time you know damn well getting up and leaving would be worse (we were at home though.)

Yes you can. I'm like you, I knew if I was in a hospital I'd get an epidural. Sure enough I begged for it during my home birth,too . But you can't have what's not available. I lived through it and still want more children. it was so absolutely worth it.