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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, this may seem unreal and I'm
to even say it. BUT I think I'm STILL suffering from ppd since the "birth" of my ds (emergency csection... that's a whole other story). From the moment I saw him (3 days AFTER his birth) until now, I"ve not been the person I was before. I feel worried about EVERYTHING (the state of terrorism, people eating animals, on and on and on...) most of the day. I have moments of "panic" over small things (like my ds falling down... it happens! I mean why do I have to break out a full sweat as soon as he tumbles [email protected][email protected]_) I'm having a difficult time being intimate w/ dh. I am having a VERY hard time "seeing the big picture" of life and instead worry and get all anxious about such uncontrollable things. I also have slight obbsessive compulsive behavior going on. Like getting freaked out if we don't stick to my schedule. I have a short fuse and cry daily... for something... anything! My dh is tired of it. I'm tired of missing the former me! I know I had ppd the frist year after ds was born. I never saw anyone. I was too exhausted and depressed durning that time to ask for help. But, now things are much more clear... but I still have so many of these awful feelings, charactoristics that I never had before. What do you think?
 

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I don't know if it would be officially classified as ppd still - but maybe it would be.

Or it maybe it would have been ppd and now it's a panic disorder. At any rate, the treatment may be the same. I know Zoloft is good for depression as well as panic/anxiety disorders. It also sounds as if the OCD might well be a contributing factor too.

It may be possible that your hormones during pregnancy changed the chemical balance within you, and since it was never treated, perhaps your body still never recovered it's optimal balance.

On a personal note, I always worry about my kids falling down and getting hurt, terrorism, (though I don't worry about people eating animals - but that's just me) - I think that's part of the territory of being a parent.

I also think you are worried about being worried, which probably adds to your feelings of panic. My friend was dx with a panic disorder (different reasons, of course) and he had to combine meds (I think it was Lexapro) with counseling, to retrain his thought processes and nip the negative ones before they became too big to handle. For him, the combination worked wonders.
I've known him for 20 years and the difference of his attitude after made a world of difference. No matter how much he "wanted" to change his behavior and thoughts, no matter how much he talked about his problems to try and come up with solutions, they never went away until he did both - the meds and the counseling sessions. And now he's a totally new, calm, optimistic person.

I think parenthood does bring about a lot of new things to worry about - worrying in a way does make us more aware of potential dangers. However, when they start taking over our lives, that's when you need to seek help.

Good luck.
 

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In the US they only recognize it during the first year but I know at least one country recognizes it at least until age 2-3 (I only remember this because the mother will not be charged if she kills her baby during that 2 year period and was known to have PPD/PPS) Could you just be suffering from general depression/anxiety and not PPD?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Can one take zoloft while bf'ing?

You know, it could be just generalized depression. Or maybe anxiety. I don't know, the idea of "worrying about worrying" worries me ( :LOL )! And I'm so afraid of getting on an rx and not ever being able to cope without it... but I think I need to try something other than counseling...

I'm holding the phone book right now and (for the sake of my marriage) I am going to make an appointment w/ someone this week.

I hope to hear more from you mamas.
 

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Zoloft is fine while BF
I hope you get some relief soon! Remember, just because you might need meds now doesn't mean you will forever!
Most come off them within 6 months
I was wondering, did you have a lot of trauma or stress while pregnant? (death, marriage issues, severe illness ect)
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by edamommy
You know, it could be just generalized depression. Or maybe anxiety. I don't know, the idea of "worrying about worrying" worries me
Me too. I worry too. I can relate. I too have not been the same since my DS (2 next month) was born. I believe I still suffer from Post Partum Anxiety.

I have a HUGE fear of something happening to DH and I end up being a Single Parent to DS. I really need DH here to help me raise DS. Parenting is the single most hardest thing I have EVER done in my life.

It sounds simple but I stay up until DH is home in the house. He tells me to not to worry, but easy for him to stay.

A $600,000 Life Insurance Policy is the ONLY thing that eases the worry. And sometimes I feel that isn't enough. I can't explain it.

And my next huge Anxiety, DS falling. I am blessed with a Spirited Child who is quite adventureous. He likes to "dive" off things (sofa, couch, dining room table) and I try to catch him every single time. My heart stops when he pulls daredevil stunts. Literally.And I have to catch my breath.

Anyway, I was browsing threads looking for "what's going on with me" today and you posted. Thank you because it's "what's going on with me" today.
 

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I just wanted to jump in here as someone who has been taking Zoloft to treat PPD for the past six months. Now, I am so, SO not a pill person. I have always beleived that there are more natural ways to remedy most situations. Note, however, that I say MOST. Sometimes, medication works for what it is designed for, and sometimes it really is the best thing.

Zoloft has made a huge difference in my life. I was getting so worked up -- over everything ... literally, everything -- and I didn't recognize myself at all anymore, just as you said. I was angry at the drop of a hat. I was yelling (yes, yelling
: ) at my DS for normal toddler stuff, stuff that usually wouldn't bother me. I was crying all the time, anxious over overthing, basically just an overwound spring! And I kept thinking that I could handle it, that it was just PPD and that it would get better. But it wasn't getting better, it was getting worse, and I felt like my life was spiralling out of control. And I can't allow that to happen -- I have two human beings to raise here, and they don't need a whacked out, angry, crazy (yes, I was acting crazy) mama!

So I went to see my osteopath (who is totally on the same wavelength with me on the natural healing thing), and told him that I was suffering from PPD and that it was becoming really, really bad. So we discussed my options, and he suggested Zoloft. I was not so crazy about the idea at first, but I was happier with that idea than with the idea of my family having to live with me as I was. So I slowly worked my way up to 100 mg every day, and I see me again when I look in the mirror.

My anxiety level has dropped significantly! My anger is easier to hold in check, and I don't get upset at those things that don't deserve it. My children don't have to fear Mommy's next "meltdown" ... seriously, it was like I was an out of control toddler who didn't have enough of a nap, kwim?!?

I don't know how long I'll be taking the Zoloft. As long as I need it, I guess. I don't like the idea of being on it long term, but it's better than the alternative. And I am doing other, more natural things to effect positive changes in my life, like changing my diet, spending more time taking care of myself (show me a completely selfless mommy and I'll show you her straightjacket and shock treatment
), getting outside and exercising, etc.!

If you don't take care of yourself, mama, no one will ... and no one will be around to take care of your kids, either.
Please, I urge you to seek some help, support, even the use of an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. Do it for yourself and your family.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by newmommy

And my next huge Anxiety, DS falling. I am blessed with a Spirited Child who is quite adventureous. He likes to "dive" off things (sofa, couch, dining room table) and I try to catch him every single time. My heart stops when he pulls daredevil stunts. Literally.And I have to catch my breath.

.
ahhh yes...I have a monkey-boy myself! He can (at TWO, mind you!) climb up a tree trunk w/no limbs!!?? He swings all the way across the monkey bars that the 5 year olds do not dare (or simply cannot) do!

Thanks for sharing with me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by springmama
I just wanted to jump in here as someone who has been taking Zoloft to treat PPD for the past six months. Now, I am so, SO not a pill person. I have always beleived that there are more natural ways to remedy most situations. Note, however, that I say MOST. Sometimes, medication works for what it is designed for, and sometimes it really is the best thing.

Zoloft has made a huge difference in my life. I was getting so worked up -- over everything ... literally, everything -- and I didn't recognize myself at all anymore, just as you said. I was angry at the drop of a hat. I was yelling (yes, yelling
: ) at my DS for normal toddler stuff, stuff that usually wouldn't bother me. I was crying all the time, anxious over overthing, basically just an overwound spring! And I kept thinking that I could handle it, that it was just PPD and that it would get better. But it wasn't getting better, it was getting worse, and I felt like my life was spiralling out of control. And I can't allow that to happen -- I have two human beings to raise here, and they don't need a whacked out, angry, crazy (yes, I was acting crazy) mama!

So I went to see my osteopath (who is totally on the same wavelength with me on the natural healing thing), and told him that I was suffering from PPD and that it was becoming really, really bad. So we discussed my options, and he suggested Zoloft. I was not so crazy about the idea at first, but I was happier with that idea than with the idea of my family having to live with me as I was. So I slowly worked my way up to 100 mg every day, and I see me again when I look in the mirror.

My anxiety level has dropped significantly! My anger is easier to hold in check, and I don't get upset at those things that don't deserve it. My children don't have to fear Mommy's next "meltdown" ... seriously, it was like I was an out of control toddler who didn't have enough of a nap, kwim?!?

I don't know how long I'll be taking the Zoloft. As long as I need it, I guess. I don't like the idea of being on it long term, but it's better than the alternative. And I am doing other, more natural things to effect positive changes in my life, like changing my diet, spending more time taking care of myself (show me a completely selfless mommy and I'll show you her straightjacket and shock treatment
), getting outside and exercising, etc.!

If you don't take care of yourself, mama, no one will ... and no one will be around to take care of your kids, either.
Please, I urge you to seek some help, support, even the use of an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. Do it for yourself and your family.

: Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like mine!
I did make an appointment and I will discuss the rx idea. It's a BIG step for me to take control of my life again. I'm proud of myself just for that! I even mentioned my reason for making the appointment (ppd after 2 years, want to discuss rx solutions....) to the receptionist so that I can not "forget" to bring it up during my appointment!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Satori
Zoloft is fine while BF
I hope you get some relief soon! Remember, just because you might need meds now doesn't mean you will forever!
Most come off them within 6 months
I was wondering, did you have a lot of trauma or stress while pregnant? (death, marriage issues, severe illness ect)
no, not "really". I was put on bedrest for the 3rd trimester because my amniotic fluid wouldn't stay up. THAT stressed me out. Plus, we were 100% alone, no family and few friends. I suppose that was stressful too. And I was in a state (at high altitude) that I couldn't stand (both physically and emotionally).
 

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hey there mama
it is very possible that it is going on two years later,i had it from the birth of my daughter though my next pregnancy and still do.i took zoloft up until about three weeks ago when i felt it had run it's course,my doc upped it for the third time without seeing me in person so i found a new doc when we moved here and he just changed me to wellbutrin,it was a very rough ride the past ten days and i felt as though i wouldn't get through it but today the sun is shining again,both outside and inside

you will get through this

just for the record i found zoloft to completely suppress my libido(my doc didn't tell me off this little snippet!!!) that also made my unhappy,wellbutrin doesn't have that side affect,woo hoo !!! so talk about all your options

good luck mama,
 

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a must read book: A Natural Guide to Pregnancy and Postpartum Health: The First Book by Doctors That Really Addresses Pregnancy Recovery
by Dean Raffelock

afaik, all mothers should read this book, regardless of how long ago they gave birth

be well,
moss
 

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I wanted to add that I have been taking the Zoloft while nursing DD. My osteopath gave me a lot of info about anti-depression/anti-anxiety drugs and their affects on DC, and we decided together that Zoloft might be right for me. And if it had turned out not to be, there were other drugs that we could have tried. So that is another piece of advice I have -- if something doesn't work for you, tell your doctor, and keep searching for something that does! Don't get discouraged and give up -- I did that after DS was born, after trying Paxil for a month and feeling even worse, more spaced out, drugged out, whacked out than without it.


Also, I haven't had any of the adverse side effects (such as decreased libido, as PP mentioned) with Zoloft. With another medicine, I might have, who knows? So just be open and willing to keep trying to find something until you find THE thing!
 

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To the OP, you mentioned in your post that you had a c-section and didn't see your son until three days after his birth--and then you write: another story (or something to that effect--I am trying to capture the general feel of your post as opposed to trying to quote you)---anyway, my point is this:
it isn't another story--it is probably THE story!
Have you read: A GOOD BIRTH, A SAFE BIRTH ?
If not, take a moment to check it out--because there is a chapter there about c-sections, and how they can literally haunt you for many years to come. Thank goodness someone finally recognizes the importance of our dreams of a healthy birth and the feelings that we have when those dreams are dashed--and in writing! It's important!
You are probably in mourning (which can take years to get over--I know I still get upset from time to time when I reflect on my first child's birth--c-section-- and what a disaster it was--and she was born with some special considerations, too) from the losing the dream of the birth that you had envisioned.
Especially if you planned for it (had a midwife, took Bradley classes or even took the time to write a birth plan--all of which I did)--and that's something to seriously think about.
Losing a dream, or a hope can bring on depression, or just take years to heal from.
And losing the dream of having a good birth is a HUGE BIG deal--because it's something that is core to who we are as women and something that we expect from our bodies (to birth a baby).
It's something to think about.
And it might also be one of the reasons that you worry about your child--because bringing him into the world was so scary, and when he arrived he was taken away for three days--I always worry more about my daughter (firstborn) than my son, because she was born with some health issues.
And my son was born perfectly healthy.
These things make a difference. I am not suggesting that it's not postpartum (hormonal imbalance, etc.), I am just suggesting that the birth experience and the NICU experience (assuming that's where your son was for those three days) probably are MAJOR contributors to how you are feeling, even though it's been a couple of years, and if you haven't really addressed those issues seriously, then they may still be playing a part in your life.
I hope this helps. I didn't start to feel better until this last year about things with my daughter, who is now three (oh, and becoming an activist for healthier births certainly helped).
 

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nak so I haven't read all the replies but I wanted to suggest post traumatic stress disorder given some of your symptoms and the fact that your birth experience very obviously left an impression w/ you. I've been studying PPD and PTSD and, while there is little info out there on it as it relates to birth, it definately exists. Not just for moms who've had scary birth experiences but feelings of abandonment by health care providers, etc. If you've had these feelings since your ds's birth I strongly encourage you to go talk to someone.

(((hugs)))
 

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From my understanding, if the onset is within 12m of birth, it's called PPD and if it's after that, they call it Clinical Depression.

It doesn't really matter what they call it, the treatment is the same. Therapy to deal with the underlying issues, and possibly meds to "get you over the hump." Lots of antidepressants are safe for nursing mothers, and the older the baby, the more medicine options you have. For example, Prozac can be unsafe for newborns but is fine for toddlers/preschoolers (I've been taking it since ds was about 1.5.)
 

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I had PPD after my dd was born 5 years ago. I expected it because I
have a long history with depression and I am diagnosed with bipolar.
I was doing pretty well with the depression. I have a great support of
friends and family. Then a week before dd turned 1 I started to have
sever panic attacks when ever I left my home. I started therapy 4
months later (it was the soonest they could provide me with). I spent
two years in therapy, learning cognitive behavior. I didn't take drugs
during this time in therapy. I had already been threw that in my early
twenties and everything they offered I had been on and the side
effects were too much negative without benefit to me. Cognitive
behavior changed my life. I couldn't recommend it more. Plus if you can't
afford therapy there are many web-sites that teach CB therapy, and
books.

I am highly effected my light and seasons. Last Spring (2004) I didn't
snap out of my low of Winter. My Summer was on the low side and I
feared the coming Winter so I started taking Effexor. It has helped me
a lot. I don't recommend it to people cause the more I read about it, the
more it scares the poo out of me that I am taking it. But for now it works,
and I am greatly afraid of withdrawing from the medication.

I think life is too short to be depressed, sad, or panicked. There are so
many Doctors and therapists out there to lend help. It could be PPD or
Panic, either way it couldn't hurt to ask for some help.
I still have panic attacks from time to time. I do feel like a much different
person than before I had my dd. My panic isn't geared in any direction,
I don't fear bad things happening to my dd or loved ones. Its more like
a shaking inside and then I think something bad is going to happen to me
and I have to get away.

I wish you luck. I don't know how much I helped with my reply, but
there is a lot of hope out there.
 

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I had PPD five years ago and still get a return of panic if I do not take these darn adrenal and thyroid supplements that I buy at the healthfood store. It's frustrating that still five years later the symptoms do sometimes reoccur at stressful times.....but I guess it reminds me to take care of myself....
 
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