[oceanbaby]

I am planning a homebirth, and am due in two weeks. Ds was born in the hospital - perfectly fine experience but I want to homebirth this time for various reasons.

Most people around me are pretty supportive, and I have great midwives. But my dad and SIL are both really negative about it. My dad is mainly concerned safety-wise. All things 'female' are a genuine mystery to him, and I think they scare him! Plus, I'm his little girl, so he's just freaked out about safety issues. My SIL is totally mainstream about everything, never questions doctors, and thinks I'm just some insane, irresponsible nutcase for having a homebirth. Add to this my own (minor) 'what if' fears, and it's starting to make me feel nevous about my decision.

Also, I tested positive for GBS, and I'm wondering if it's a sign that I shouldn't be at home. I guess I'm just starting to second guess everything and feel nervous and insecure. Cold feet maybe. I just hate feeling scared and nervous all of a sudden.

 

[kama'aina mama]

Just my personal experience... but man, oh man did I love birthing at home. I felt safe, relaxed... RIGHT! I felt like I was exactly where I belonged doing exactly what my body was designed to do. I had done the research and new I was making a safe, smart choice... as are you. This isn't a silly whim you had. This is a smart choice you have made for yourself and your family, including the new baby. If there was a valid reason to go to a hospital you would... in an instant. Counter to what many people think you aren't trying to 'prove something' or make a statement or whatever. You just want to quietly birth your babe in a calm and safe environment. Blessings on you. Don't let negative people affect your positive decision.

 

[cottonwood]

Yeah, what Kama said.

You know that your dad and SIL don't know a think about it. Shrug them off as ignorant nutcases themselves, and turn off your phone! And then see what's left. Is your fear fueled by actual concerns, or simply by having picked up your dad's and SIL's negative energy? (Remember, pregnant and birthing women are opening up and therefore vulnerable to this sort of thing.) Talk to your midwife about it -- try to get it worked out before the birth.

 

[plantmommy]

IF a situation arose that needed to be handled medically, you and your midwives would know, and act accordingly. And the chances of anything like that happening are very very very slim.

Meanwhile, birthing at home, where you feel the most comfortable, where you and your baby will be surrounded by loving people, is a wondrous, amazing thing.

My homebirth was a life-changing thing for me. I felt so powerful, and so at peace afterwards! It was more perfect than I could have possibly imagined, and now I would never consider anything else.

Sure, OBs exist for a reason... so do parachutes, but you don't need one every time you fly.

 

[oceanbaby]

Thank you!

This is exactly what I needed to hear. I know I'm making the right choice for us, but I've been so emotional and vulnerable lately, that even the smallest comments from people that I don't normally listen to are taking a toll.

I think I'm really ready to get this show on the road. Yeah, there is a lot to be done around the house, and unfinished projects, but I'm starting to not care anymore. Once I get the tub delivered next week, I am ready!

 

[plantmommy]

AWESOME! You will love the tub. I should say "The Tub", because it was a pivotal fabulous thing during my last labor.

Be sure to set it up early, for those "practice runs".

 

[ebethmom]

s for you, Oceanbaby!! I know that for me, it's hard to go against the wishes of the people who care about me. Even when I know that I'm doing is best for my family, it's still uncomfortable.

My Mom and Stepmom are very upset about our homebirth. I would normally describe my relationship with both my Mom and Stepmom as supportive and loving. But, boy, this homebirth stuff has really upset the balance. We're at a point now where we're just not talking about it. I had hoped that they would be open to hearing my perspective, but they don't even ask why I want to homebirth. They just try to convince me that I'm wrong!

Keep listening to your strong inner voice (and those around you who support your decision!).

I can't wait to read your beautiful homebirth story!

 

[Carolinamidwife]

Oh yeah, your feelings are normal and necessary. Before you can get down to birthing you have to work through all of your emotions, the good and the bad, and it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing. The GBS is no big deal, you are better off dealing with it at home, IMO.

I LOVED my homebirth. I don't ever want to be pregnant again and I don't want any more kids but I would love to have another homebirth. It will rock your world in ways you can't even yet imagine.

You are going to have an amazing birth.

 

[BusyMommy]

I did it twice and my dh and I are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy we stayed home.

Just lay out all of your concerns for your mw. I guarantee you are not unique.

She'll be honest and address each one; ie. esp GBS.

 

[Defenestrator]

I didn't have the perfect birth -- my baby had some deep decelerations during labor and was born with some breathing problems and lower apgars than my midwives would have liked to have seen. They handled it well, though, and at no point did I feel like control of the situation was wrested away from me. He stayed with me the entire time while we walked through -- together -- how we should care for him.

As a doula I have seen so, so many babies taken away from their parents for aggressive interventions that can last a long time. I can almost guarantee that I would have been separated from my baby for hours had he been born in the hospital. I am glad we were at home. Even if we had needed to transport postpartum (for a while it looked certain we would need to), I wouldn't have lost the beautiful, private, labor and birth we had at home.

Good luck. I wish you a peaceful, good birth.

 

[2+twins]

Just want to wish you a very happy homebirth. Like the others have said, you're making a safe, smart, well thought out choice. Homebirth is wonderful (hence my screen name

) and I doubt you'll be having any regrets. The gbs thing should be no more of an issue at home than it would have been in the hospital. Plus you'll probably have it dealt with better since midwifes tend to be more hands off in their approach and will not likely be pushing a bunch of vaginal exams on you. I think you'll love it, as did I and the others here. Birth, I'm sure, is a life changing experience no matter where you do it, but I can't help but feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have been able to experience it both times at home.

 

[rad]

Both of my homebirths were the most incredible experiences. I felt safe and comfortable. There basically was no other choice for me. I know that the hospital couldn't offer me that feeling of being safe regardless of all the technology. I can honestly say that i have never met a person that regretted their homebirth.

I did have alittle resistance from certain family members and friends about my homebirths. All I did was stopped talking to them for that last month or so. I know it sounds terrible but it was the only way I felt I could get myself into the right mindset for birthing and clear all the negativity out. I simply just wouldn't answer my phone or I'd have my DH talk to them.

Good luck on your birth. You'll love it doing it at home.

 

[oceanbaby]

Thank you all sooooo much!

I am going to print this out and have it up where I can just glance over at it whenever I need to.

 

[Walkin' Mama]

Oceanbaby,

You can do this!

My father started getting really worried as I neared my due date and started looking for reasons I may not have considered that I should be delivered in a hospital. Dd was born at home, and it was a wonderful, empowering experience. I wouldn't change a thing.

One of my father's concerns was GBS. I think I was tested in 1st trimester with the rest of my bloodwork, but that's kind of irrelevant. I did not get tested in 3rd trimester b/c there would have been huge pressure from my parents for me to go to the hospital if I was (+). Rather I did my own research to attempt to alleviate his fears. I talked to my midwife, my doula, and did web searches (there's a great midwifery discussion board out there with lots of linked references, but I can't remember what it is).

Here is some of what I learned:

-You can test (+) now and be (-) at birth, OR vice versa.
-Even if you are (+), if you are generally strong and healthy, there is a very small chance it will be transmitted to baby.
-Baby will be with you all the time (not in a nursery). Between you and your midwives, if baby does contract gbs, someone should be able to catch the signs in time to treat baby.
-If you go to a hospital they will want you on IV antibiotics while you labor. Even after this, they may put baby on a course of 'prophylactic' antibiotics after birth. Two things here: being attached to an IV pole could negatively affect your labor; all those antibiotics would definitely affect baby's immune system.

Just my thoughts on the subject. Don't take my word for it; do your own research. You need to birth where you are most comfortable and you are the only one who can decide where that is.

 

[NaturalFamiLEA]

I had a wonderful home birth. It was my first, and she came in less than 3 hrs. It was wonderful! I would do it again, and will for my next baby.

 

[sweets]

About three weeks before my beautiful homebirth I put affirmations up on bright colored index cards all over my house. Things I could read to help me prepare for the birth and that I could see while in labor. They were so very helpful. I can send them to you off list if you are interested.

Happy birthing, doing what your wise self knows how!

 

[jessemoon]

I had my first baby at home (10 1/2 lbs) and while there were some complications and it was plenty hard, I would do it again tomorrow. If you trust your midwives, don't let anybody else scare you. If there was a reason to have your baby in the hospital, your midwives would talk to you about it.

Even with the scary parts of DS's birth, I feel like it was an amazing positive experience. I am so grateful that I did it at home.

You can do it..you know how to birth a baby (you've done it once) and you have expert help with you. You will be so glad you did this.

Happy Birthing.

 

[SaraC]

I agree with what everyone else has said. Stay positive and informed. If you feel you are making the right choice then take whatever anyone else has to say and put it out the door. I had a homebirth transport(non-emergency) with my first DD and my family was really down when I told them I would be birthing with a midwife for my second birth. I just explained to them that I was well informed about everything they were worried about and that I knew my body could birth a baby. My mom was very wary but supportive after I told her that she could either support me or butt out. She chose to support me. Good luck with your birth. I know it will be beautiful.

 

[NaturalFamiLEA]

Sure, OBs exist for a reason... so do parachutes, but you don't need one every time you fly.

Ohhh, love that one!!!

 

[ebethmom]

Hi Oceanbaby! Just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling. How is your family situation going?

I just talked to my Dad on the phone. He likes to tell me that he's supportive, and I guess that he is. But he says things like, "Just do me a favor and go to your OB one more time to get checked out." Ummm, never had an OB with this baby. And my midwife checks me out every week. He says that he trusts me and that he knows I've done my research. And I think to myself "Prove it to me!"

I did tell him tonight that if he really is that concerned about homebirth safety, he needs to read the materials that I've recommended. (He claims that he doesn't have time. Bwah ha ha!!)

Anyway, I thought of you after that phone call tonight. Hope your family has toned it down some! My Dad is actually the only one left who will talk to me about homebirth. The rest just dab their eyes and think of how sad they'll be holding my poor brain damaged baby at my funeral.