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Okay I am pregnant and due November 8th (so expecting a baby before December 1st based on past experience LOL!!). I am planning an HBAC. I was planning a homebirth with DS but got to 42 weeks and went to hospital for induction which failed and resulted in a completely unnecessary c-section (IMNSHO).<br><br>
I am with the same midwifery practice as before for the simple reason that there are only two in my city and the other only has 1 mw and is a bit of a nutbar (she was the mw for a friend of mine and I didn't like how she handled the postpartum care that I witnessed and my friend had horror stories of the birth so no way is she an option).<br><br>
Okay so the primary mw that I had before has since "retired" due to stress (which is fine because I never was super crazy about her to begin with). When I called to begin care they asked which of the back up midwives I preferred to have as my primary. The one I picked was because she is very blunt and honest and I figured I would appreciate that in a mw.<br><br>
My first appt I laid it all out for her. How angry I was over my previous experience and how I required full and complete informed consent this time around. I also asked about homebirth (which is allowed according to their college BTW but has never been done successfully in my city). She said that she was fine with me "starting at home" which set off big huge warning bells with me but I figured I wasn't planning to call the midwives until at or near the pushing stage anyhow so it wouldn't be an issue.<br><br>
My next appt I visited with the mw who was my other back up mw for Rhys. We had SUCH a good conversation and she really seemed to listen to me KWIM?? I am thinking that my chances of actually getting an honest chance at HBAC would be better with this mw than the one that I originally picked. I am thinking about requesting a change of lead mw but I would like other peoples opinions on it first.<br><br>
It has nothing to do with who I think is a better midwife...just who I think would be a better fit *for me*. The mw that I chose gives off a vibe that tells me that she likes and expects to be "in charge" at a birth. I have issues with my power being taken from me and haven't fully recovered from the effects of Rhys' birth so I am really cautious in that area KWIM? The other mw seems more open to discussing and negotiating things rather than saying "this is policy you must comply". Its not that midwife A has said these things...but that is the vibe that I am getting from her.<br><br>
I have a hard time confronting people but that is one area which has vastly improved since Rhys was born. I know that I cannot afford to lay down and let myself be trampled for others convenience because the emotional payback is huge for me...and I cannot disappear into myself the way I did when Rhys was born (I had huge difficulty with connecting to him as a person so did the basics of care...nursing, changing etc but thank God for DH who provided the nurturing that Rhys needed for the first 9 months or so). Rhys would notice the difference this time and even if I could do that to a baby (again) I cannot do that to my little man <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
So I have another visit with my main midwife this Thursday and I am thinking about requesting the switch if I still feel the same vibe. I am going to ask her point blank about her willingness to hbac with me or is she going to be looking for every opportunity to hustle me off to the hospital. DH thinks I am not giving her enough of a chance but honestly the midwives fill up fast so I don't really have a whole heck of a lot of time to waste.<br><br>
Opinions??<br><br>
Steph
 

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Congrats on your pregnancy! I am planning a HBAC for Sept...<br><br>
My opinion is that if you feel more comfortable with the other midwife, you should DEF. switch! You really need to have a midwife that you can talk to openly and honestly and that doesnt try to pressure you into doing anything you dont want to do.<br><br>
Your feelings will come out when you are laboring and if you feel like this midwife is not on the same page as you it really could affect the outcome of your homebirth.<br><br>
I live near an area with tons of midwives. The one I chose 2 years ago isnt nearly as experienced as some of the others, but she is the only one who just listens to me and doesnt really give her opinion unless I specifically ask for it. Ive been through 2 pregnancies with her and she has never tried to talk me into anything or change my mind about something. She always respects my decisions even though I know that some of them are not what she would personally choose for herself. I really appreciate and NEED that when I am pregnant and birthing and I bet you will too.<br><br>
Good luck with your decision! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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go with your gut!!!<br><br>
You know you best and to have the care that makes you feel safe is most important. Please, listen to you inner voice.<br><br>
Congrats and enjoy your pg and wonderful birth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">It has nothing to do with who I think is a better midwife...just who I think would be a better fit *for me*.</td>
</tr></table></div>
That is all that really matters!!! It's up to you to choose the best care-provider for your situation, and to do everything you can to ensure that you have the birth you want.
 

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Definitely go with your instinct!<br>
I didn't, and I can't tell you how much I regret it!<br>
You know in your heart what is best for you and your babe.
 
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