I'm right there with you!
My dd will be 3 in a little less than a month and we've been toilet learning for a couple of months. I don't really expect her to stay dry at night yet because I don't think she has the bladder control. But I would like for her to use the potty consistently during the day. My oldest dd (now 19) learned to use the potty very quickly to pee - just took her awhile to poop and stay dry all night. However, she had totally learned by the time she was 30 months. DD #2 does great as long as she is naked
but that's rather hard to do all the time.
I work, and part of our problem I think is the sitter. I don't think she is doing a very good job of reminding, etc.
I'd like for dd to start at a Montessori preschool in the fall because she is so ready for the social interaction and learning experiences (she constantly talks about wanting to go to school) but they won't take her until she has learned to use the potty. We've been on a waiting list for this particular Montessori and they have called to let me know they have a spot in the fall. I've sent our deposit but I'm not sure we will be ready!
Dd is also a very spirited child, trying to be in control all the time, which makes it difficult. She is very active and I think sometimes just doesn't want to take the time to use the potty.
You are not alone!