[MrsTC]

Moms of more than one, I'm sure you can say something to help me...even if it is, "send him off to Africa for a week."

Ds wakes up lately and is either going full blast the instant his eyes open, or, worse, is fussy when he wakes up. My dh works nights, and in the interest of keeping the peace and quiet so he can sleep, I find myself bolting out of bed, grabbing ds, and getting out of the bedroom so he doesn't wake up dh. I grab something to cover myself, and we stagger into the bathroom, where he usually starts throwing a bigger, louder fit, and all I can think is, "I absolutely have to pee, I'm sorry, but you need to shut up right now. Now!" And I begin hushing, shhhshing him, anything, but nothing works, and I lose it. I'm still half asleep, the only thing I can think is "must pee, omygod must pee," and "shut UP!" It sucks. And then I have no patience with him and the next usually half hour is really rough on us both. All he seems to want is for me to do nothing but hold him and makes noise if I don't, and all I want is one minute of peace and quiet and autonomy to get my brain going. Get water, something to eat...I don't even try for making coffee anymore. And for argument's sake, I can do everything but pee while holding ds but because I'm often so pissed at this point, I don't because I fear that I will snap and hurt him out of resentment and frustration. So he sits and makes noise while I TAKE my minute. But his noise irritates me further...it's a mess, and I don't find myself able to calm down until, like I said, usually up to a half hour later, when I'm fully awake and my blood pressure has gone down.

It just pisses me off that he won't give me one minute. He doesn't seem to have gotten it yet that it takes mommy 30 seconds to pee in the morning, and that I'll be right with him after that...in the morning, "I need one minute," doesn't work to buy me just that like it does at other times during the day.

And I know that if I didn't feel this pressure to keep the peace and quiet in the morning, this would be not as big of an issue. If dh were gone at work or awake already, I would just let ds fuss and do what I need to do to wake up in the morning to be able to function.

So I want to know...is this a matter of conditioning? Will it get easier the longer I learn to parent? Is it hormones? What do you think and does anyone have any advice? Our house is small, the only bathroom is adjacent to our bedroom...just a bad situation from the get-go.

TIA,
Tresa

Sorry so long, I'm still not awake yet.

:

 

[colobus237]

If it's guilt that's bothering you - Sometimes, you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. Go pee, do your thing. He will survive unscathed, you are near and not abandoning him

. If it's the noise, I find that snacks are the key to my littlest one's happiness sometimes. A few mighty bites or cheerios or blueberries and she will sit happily in the highchair or on the floor for a few while I get myself together in the morning.
It probably will get better as he moves on to a new phase. Like playing in the toilet or pulling all the books off of your bookshelves (my 1yrold's current faves).
You could also try a backpack or similar, though that may be more effort than you're up for first thing in the AM.

 

[Gaviota]

Sorry for crashing your due date club. I usually just lurk, but I had some sympathy and suggestions here. My Dh also works nights, so I feel your pain. It sucks being oh so tired and having to be "on" while the other parent sleeps, even if he was up later. I agree with the last post, that all annoying things in child-rearing seem to be temporary, so try to have patience because it will soon get better (or worse in a different way!). Another idea is to plan ahead. Snacks at the ready for ds and you! Or maybe even (I would hate doing this, but it might be worth it) setting an alarm to get up just before ds usually gets up so that you can have a few minutes of peace to prepare for the day. Or if your son just wants to be held, do you have to get out of bed to do it? Could he come cuddle with you without waking your husband? Then when you both are more awake you could quietly get up. Of course, this solution requires cooperation from you bladder. Sometimes I drink an extra glass of water before bed so that my nightly trip to the toliet will be earlier rather than right at getting up time. Strange, but sometimes works to better time these things! Those are my thoughts. Hope something works, although one last thought is that if you are doing the best you can, your husband can just deal with the noise. Afterall, you aren't getting uninterrupted sleep, so why should he?