[NatureMama3]

I'm not pregnant again, yet at least (just sweating at 7dpo! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared">), but I'm trying to figure out what to do should I get pregnant in the future (we practice Quiverfull, so that is likely).<br><br>
I am feeling torn between my desire for completely techno-free unassisted pregnancy/birth and the fear of having another hemorrhage with miscarriage (and not only my fear, but poor DH too--it terrified him, his psoriasis exploded that day after being inactive for a couple years).<br><br>
I am hoping to get some good feedback from those I know are likeminded in regards to PG/Birth.<br><br>
I'm considering a couple options, first, scheduling an ultrasound at 10ish weeks with the same midwifery clinic I did previously (with the risk that it's not the best u/s machine on earth and they can't do trans-vag) or buying a doppler off eBay and checking for h/b myself (which of course once I found I would stop using, as I really am opposed to using those regularly!).<br><br>
If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Do you have any options I haven't thought of? Sage advice?

 

[momma4fun]

I personally feel that if a miscarriage is gonna happen, or is gonna start to happen, I'm not going to interfere with that. If I had a history of m/c with hemmorage, I would get monitered during the m/c. I would not try to be on the lookout for a m/c or be trying to prevent it, other than through excellent nutrition.<br><br>
Did it happen so fast that it was an emergency??

 

[~~Mama2B~~]

Hugs to you, mama. I'm afraid I don't have any sound advice, but as another QF, UCing mama I can understand your hesitations. I haven't m/ced myself, so I hesitate to say anything because I don't have my own experience, but I'll give you my thoughts.<br><br>
I believe that if a person m/cs it is for the best interest of the baby. It's not mama's fault, but there was some illness, disorder or problem that the baby could not endure and a m/c is G-d's way of taking care of that. That might (or might not) give you any comfort, but that seems to be the case im my mind.<br><br>
I have a QF, UCing friend who has had maybe 5 m/cs and is pregnant with (what will be her) 5th living baby. She is so scared of losing the baby that she's hardly taking care of herself. I think the best thing you can do is to stay as positive as you can, trust that G-d will take care of the baby and you, and don't let the stress overwhelm you or interfere with your health! As long as that baby lives- be it a few weeks in your womb or years and years after birth, you are his/her mother and the source of his/her life. The happiest babies are those with the happiest mamas- even in the womb.<br><br>
I'm not a fan of u/s or doppler devices either, but if hearing the heartbeat or seeing the baby will give yu peace and comfort and aleviate some of your stress I think you should do it for your sake and the baby's!<br><br>
Best wishes to you!<br><br>
Kristi

 

[NatureMama3]

yes, I started hemorrhaging out of the blue in the middle of the night and we're at least 1 hour from the hospital.<br><br>
I also have a history of miscarriage (well over 1 dozen-mostly uncomplicated) but this past one was a blighted ovum, which in retrostpective study, apparently often cause hemorrhaging. having another one of THOSE is my fear.

 

[NatureMama3]

thanks for the feedback btw, m4f and Kristi. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I have always had a little trepidation in pregnancy about losing the baby, but losing MY life was never a concern before. I guess that is my real fear, I have 3 other kids and I can't leave them. I would get another D&C if I had another BO.

 

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I haven't had a miscarriage so it's hard for me to relate to the emotional side of that. But my feelings on it w/ my UC were that there was nothing I could do if that happened. I didn't want to use any u/s on this babe, so I just got a fetoscope, with which I could regularly pick up the heartbeat by 20 weeks. I wouldn't have gone to the hospital before 28 weeks, personally. Even then would be iffy. I guess the hemorrhage is another consideration...still, I'm not sure it's something you could accurately predict anyway.

 

[2bluefish]

I'm not supposed to be quiverfull; I'm supposed to be NFP - but we are NFP failures I guess! To be honest, it's hard for me to understand not giving the body a break when it seems to be struggling with pregnancy. But I do things with my religion that other people don't get, so there you go. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I do have a doppler that I bought off Ebay. I have never been able to pick up the heartbeat until around 16 weeks. You could be different, but that's just been my experience. I'm just tried a few minutes ago - got antsy, and didn't get it. I'm going to have to be patient. I've had feelings on and off that I want to go for a u/s right now - but it is so early (12/13 weeks).<br><br>
How about getting prenatal care and then if everything goes well dropping them later in the pregnancy? I think that is what I would do if I were having problems. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[NatureMama3]

thanks for the feedback. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I guess it <b>is</b> an unusual situation.

 

[2bluefish]

Hey, you know I was reading something over in Midwifery Today about women with celiac disease having multiple miscarriages. If you have any other symptoms, that might be something to look at. I believe I have celiac disease. My health has improve a ton since I gave up gluten.

 

[Marlet]

If I were in your shoes (and we aren't quiverful though we both understand the appeal of it both religiously [his parents] and as birth control failures [mine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">]) I would take a break if not pregnant this cycle.<br><br>
By that I mean take a break PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY. Get both your body and your mind back on track. You and your DH have legit concerns/fears at this point. I don't know your particular look on QF and what you can do but if I were QF I would take this time and optimize my body (whether through diet and exercise alone or with some natural supplements) and my mind (through meditation/prayer).<br><br>
When it came to be that I was pregnant again off the top of my head right this second I wouldnt hesitate to get a doppler and/or ultrasound. If I weren't pregnant (and in your shoes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) I would re-examine how I felt about those when I did become pregnant.<br><br>
The great thing about choosing UC is the range of choices we as the woman get to make. Technically speaking UC is a birth without a hired "professional" there. No where in that broad definition does it say that ou can get yourself a doppler and/or ultrasound and/or prenatal care. Choosing UC is about choosing to have an empowered, self directed/choosen, knowledgable birth. It's about choosing what YOU think AND feel is going to create the safest birth all around. In all aspects, not just physically. A woman can have a fantastic birth and still feel used/misused mentally or emotionally.<br><br>
Does that big ol' ramble make sense? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[NatureMama3]

it makes sense, I followed ya. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
we had no intention on trying at all quite yet, this egg sorta snuck up on me. I normally have a LONG period of infertility following a loss like this--50-60 day cycle. So an egg at CD18 was not on my plan. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I did get checked for celiac previously when having bowel issues a few years back and it didn't appear to be. We were nearly grain free for a couple months in Missouri (only grains what corn chips we could buy) until we got our grain MILL and didn't notice any changes. *sigh*<br><br>
the best theory we've been able to come up with between docs, naturopath and ourselves is my history of severe allergic reaction to DTP/TD vaccine (which is connected with miscarriage) and a head injury recieved at age 10 that likely affected the pituitary (which commands the gonadotropins). I think we've evened out the hormone problems via herbs, diet and lifestyle changes, but this blighted ovum really took us by surprise and of course they're usually not anything but a random fluke. *sigh*<br><br>
probably not trying to figure out all potentialities before pregnancy isn't a bad idea. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">