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Discussion Starter #1
Be gentle with me.<br>
I know my current husband will not want a divorce. I can't say I want one either. I can say I don't love my husband and do not want to call myself his wife. He is the stay at home dad and I work full time. I am due with #3 in a few months. I want to live in the same house (separate rooms) and share our love of parenting together as friends and room mates. I don't know what the future will bring but that is what I want now. We are friends and for the most part our relationship goes along quite nicely. I just am completely fallen out of love. I am not interested in another relationship.<br><br>
I am 30<br><br>
Am I in a state of pregnancy induced delusion or is this at all possible?
 

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That is what I wanted at one point too. In fact we tried it at one time...for us it didn't work. I think it takes a special kind of commitment to the kids to be able to pull it off.
 

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I have a dear friend that does just that... it got difficult when she begain to date a few years down the road. But I think their son is REALLY lucky to have them both there each day.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I feel like we have been living this way for a long time. I just don't like pretending to be something I am not. I think that pretending to "be his wife" is actually wrecking our relationship because I feel so trapped by his "neediness" I need some space to call my own. Just a place to lay my head and sit in silence, to write in a jounal or sit and meditate.<br><br>
I want a clearer division of labour and responsibilities so that I don't always end up picking up the slack. I want freedom from him so that when I put a dint in the car I bought and paid for, I can come home and not get the third degree.<br><br>
But I want to share our children and money. I like to sit and have a conversation late into the night. I just don't want to be so close to him that I have to smell his terrible breathe that I have been asking him to address for 5 years.<br><br>
I don't want to see him standing naked on the bed doing body building poses . . . I just don't!
 

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Awe sweetie is sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with him and see where he stands.
 

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Perhaps a therapy session can help you clear the air and develop a plan, if he is open minded about it....
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Sadly, we have had many heart to hearts and that is why we are still together. He is always "trying". I appreciate it but I creates no love towards him. He has been away for 3 weeks and I can say I have not thought of him or missed him. When I have thought of him it was only to wonder about a divorce. I can say I feel a lot more carefree and happy when he is not around and I don't have to pretend that I actually love him or want to be his spouse.
 

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The thing that I finally realized when I tried sharing an house with my ex is that things don't change. If he isn't pulling his weight around the house now it is almost gauranteed he won't when you aren't in a love/commitment type relatoinship. In fact in my case things just got worse. It was like he felt that because he didn't care what I felt or thought anymore he didn't have to do anything to contribute or take care of something if I asked him to. The only thing that kept my sanity during the year we tried it was that I felt more able to take a night out with my friends when I needed to get away from him!!
 

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I hope this works for you if this is really what you want. {{HUGS}} For me staying living with H for the 3 motnhs that we did after I asked for a seperation was a nightmare.
 

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I personally wouldnt make any decisions while pg or the year after giving birth because feelings during that time are all out of phase. That being said they idea you have if it works for you both then of course go for it.
 
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