[yaya'smum]

I'm going to a shower in a few weeks, I don't think the mom is very informed on the circ subject. Is there a way to casually bring up info? I have a feeling that he may be circ'd as a standard procedure. I at least want this mom to be able to make an informed decision, hopefully the right one.

If people are so O.K. asking "are you going to circumcise him?" Can I ask the same question, then follow it with all the reasons not to?

I feel like it's rude, but at the same time want to spread the word!

I've already decided to gift the "No cry sleep solution" and add a print up on the AAP stance on baby wise. any advice?

 

[Drummer's Wife]

Is the mom a close friend? If not, I don't know that I would say anything... unless she brought it up and was asking for input from the guests, yk?

 

[erin23kate]

A shower is probably a very bad place to get your point across.

In a group setting, you're likely to get "outvoted" by other moms volunteering that intact penises are "yucky" or "dirty" or "unhealthy" and you'll definitely get the " a friend of a friend's son almost died because he had a foreskin and it was soooo terrible!" MAYBE there will be other moms that feel like you do... in which case you're guaranteeing a very emotional debate that will detract from the shower itself.

You are much more likely to have an impact in a quiet, private conversation where Mom feels open to ask questions and will consider your opinion without peer pressure.

 

[eepster]

You can print out and put pamphlets from nocirc in the relevant pages of a nice baby book that you wrap up as a gift.

You can tell personal anecdotes that subtly point out that not everyone circs, but be sure of you audience (as a PP pointed out the wrong audience can turn the message around.)

 

[tammylsmith]

I agree that it would be a bad place to bring it up. If it comes up, fine, but otherwise I don't think you would have much success that way. You could gift one of the Mothering magazines with an article on circ that happens to be in it... or put a pamphlet in with a gift with a little sticky that says something friendly about sharing info you found helpful.

 

[annekh23]

Definitely not at a shower, I think a shower is one time when if you attend you demonstrate support to the mum to be, whatever her choices are.

I was at a small meet up of AP mums a couple of days ago and one asked a question about penis care and looked to me for an answer, as I happened to be the most experienced mum there, oldest children and only one with both sexes.

I asked a few questions about the problem, discovered the child was circumcised, but also that it was really a cloth diapering question, which I could answer, but I was sure to mention that my son wasn't circumcised, so I wasn't familiar with circumcised penises. It turned out she hadn't really been aware of why anyone might choose not to circumcise and was now becoming aware of it and that it might be something she'd have to think about in future. She knew my son wasn't born in the US, I don't know if she realises that it's actually very hard to get a baby circumcised in the UK, but thought happened and happened naturally, everyone was happy!

 

[philomom]

I usually plant those brochures someplace where she'll see them.

I'll tell you that leaving my son intact was a great decision... but I'm not a confrontational person.

 

[fruitful womb]

If you're going to bring it up ask, "Are you going to leave your son intact? You do know the foreskin is naturally bonded to the glans... like the fingernail is to the finger right? And you should never try to retract it because the penis is still developing?"

She might look at you like you have three heads for a moment. In that moment, elaborate, "Yeah, its called the synechia. Just like when a newborn kitten's eyes are fused and you should never separate the synechia because the eyes are still developing! same thing." "A lot of parents nowadays are choosing to opt out of a penis reduction surgery and bring home their whole baby. Sometimes doctors forget to tell parents that its really very simple to care for a complete penis. They can go on and on about caring for a bloody raw open wound but when it comes to the intact foreskin its as if they perpetuate some kind of 'mystery'. Leave it up to an ill-informed culture that once believed a care provider had to ripp the prepuce back, expose the glans and scrub it with soap ((ouch)) to misguide parents of intact sons. No wonder infections were common!!! Get this, all you have to do is... wipe from base to tip! Its really that simple!

"

It might be the first time she hears about an option NOT to circumcise.

I wish someone had given me that info at my baby shower 10 years ago.

 

[mntnmom]

I've given the "Sears baby book" as a gift, and tucked information inside for the parents to find later. They might toss it, they might read it. But it doesn't put anyone on the spot and is non threatening. I usually add a little note, with my phone number and an offer to talk if they want.
I don't know if it's ever worked, but I have maintained the relationships, and hopefully been able to influence them in other positive ways, instead of burning the bridge completely.

 

[A&A]

People don't think twice about giving a book or info about breastfeeding at a shower. I don't see why this should be any different.

 

[yaya'smum]

Thank you so much for the advice ladies!

I have learned so much through my pregnancies, and now having children, I research constantly. Knowledge is so powerful

I think I will drop off some books and info at her pilates studio before, and bring a gift for baby to the shower.

You ladies always help put things in perspective for me!