I need to vent. I feel like I have a deep depression, and I have never been the type to not deal with my emotions well. I am pretty sure I have voiced myself here before. Is it possible to have ppd before you even give birth? Yes, I am happy I am having baby, ok that is an outright lie. I hate knowing I am not happy and I cry about ti daily because to me, saying and feeling like you dont want another baby when you are pregnant means some thing very very terrible. I cry EVERYDAY!!!!!!! What is wrong with me? This one wasnt planned, ad I am alone and I feel like a terrible person for feeling the way I do. I am not pro choice and could never not have the baby, I also could not live with myself with giving the baby up, but I am having a hard time living with myself anyhow. I have never been this sd on a daily basis my whole entire life, except for when my son died. I feel so alone and isolated. I really just feel alone. I have always been a strong person and could deal with anything. I though that as the pregnancy progressed I would start to feel better, happier. This is the easiest pregnancy of my life and if my tummy wasnt growing I wouldnt even believe I m pregnant. Why do I feel so sad and overburdened? I love children, I love my children I always loved getting pregnant when I was married, we planned each and everyone of our children. Why dont I feel any better about this yet? My goodness im 16 weeks, I am feeling movement, and it doesnt excite me, just reminds me that I am pregnant. I cant tell anyone, I couldnt possibly admit how I feel. What kind of person feels this way? Is it too early to have ppd? I hate myself for feeling the way I do. Im sorry for bringing sadness to the board. I really do try to keep upbeat and carry on with the other mommy to be's, but to be honest I am not feeling it this time. Quite the opposite. What is wrong with me??? Is it going to get worse? Is it possible to have something hormonally wrong with me that is causing this?