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My faith in human kind diminishes more and more everyday...<br><br>
My STBX actually threatened to hit me yesterday... I filed a police report. I had a whole thing written up about it last night and before I was about to post it my DD wandered over and turned off the computer.<br><br>
I'm at my parents house.<br><br>
I called out of work today to try to get things all figured out. I talked to HR and basically this would be another unexcused abscence as it's not covered under FMLA at all.<br><br>
Seriously? What the hell? You and your children are in danger, you have no choice but to take off of work to talk to lawyers, counselors, etc... and then you have to worry about losing your job on top of it??!!<br><br>
Is there nothing in place to help protect victims of abuse? How do they want me going and functioning at work anyway? Seriously? WTF?<br><br>
There has to be something that can help?
 

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if you lose your job over this (which is INSANE) at least you will know you didn't do anything wrong, and in a subsequent job search, if that's what you decide to do, at least you will be able to explain that you were leaving an abusive marriage and since you're out of that situation, attendance won't be issue. don't they give you any PTO? what is wrong with them? i'm trying to keep my outrage level down, but seriously . . . that is so wrong.<br><br>
i'm sorry for everything you've been dealing with, but i have to say i'm glad you now have a bit more documentation (and so glad you didn't actually get hit). i feel a little bit worried for you. have you updated the shelter with this new info? if he threatens you again, shows up at your mom's or your office - please do whatever it takes to stay safe. in addition to the police report, can you get an order for protection?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I do have PTO time, but since it was planned in advance, it's an unexcused. All of my call outs this year have been unexcused due to illness, or weather. Yeah, I forgot to invest in my crystal ball. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I can't believe that, you would think they'd have some compassion and want to help you, not threaten your job!!<br><br>
What is their policy on sick days/unecused absences? Would you be automatically let go if you reach a certain # of days, or would it be only "possible" for them to let you go? Perhaps when you hit the limit # they will take into consideration your personal circumstances rather than firing you on the spot? I sure hope so... but just remember, no job is worth your & your children's safety. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Wow. I'm sorry to hear that things escalated between you and your H. But you did the right thing by filing a police report.<br><br>
I would speak to the advocates at your local shelter about the unexcused absences at work. They might have some good information.<br><br>
As others have said, if you lose your job, it will still be OK. It's not worth your safety. You could check to see if you would qualify for unemployment because while these are unexcused absences, I would think that there should be some law to protect women in your situation. You're DV shelter would be the ones to ask about how to navigate this situation best.<br><br>
I'm glad you are safe.
 

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I am also sorry about the abuse escalating <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am glad you are somewhere safe, though.<br><br>
Can you go past HR and speak to your direct supervisor? I mean, the person you talked to could just be someone who has no clue who you are, etc. Perhaps your supervisor, who knows you, can speak to them for you? I hope you can figure it all out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I'm glad you are out and PO'd at your job. I would try talking to your immediate supervisor and see where that gets you.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
My immediate supervisor is the one that made me go to HR in the first place because he had called me in last week about my attandance and I told him everything that was going on at home combined with pregnancy sickness etc... I'm just not doing well. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I cried the whole way into work this morning and have to keep fighting it at my desk.<br><br>
Today is the first day DD has had to be in full day daycare since she was born. She will be there 10 hours today. And I HATE it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I know she is out of sorts and misses her Dad and now she is going to think I abandonded her too.<br><br>
He hasn't even called to talk to her. I figured he would at least do that. He hasn't seen her since we left Sunday morning.<br><br>
I am really not doing good. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I know it doesn't seem this way right now, but your DD will get used to it. If the daycare is any good, they will comfort her and try to make the day fun and distracting.<br><br>
As for work, I don't know what advice to give, I have a hot temper and would have told them off about being jerks with no human feelings for a pregnant women in a tough situation and quit.
 

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I thought about quitting... but have no idea how I will pay my bills and support my kids then... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I called my counselor and she was able to calm me down some.<br><br>
And my Mom called and had a valid point that it's better for DD to be at daycare having fun playing with the kids than at home with STBX while he likely falls asleep on the couch.<br><br>
I've just always had an issue with full time daycare and how you are apart from your kids more than you are with them, and I hate it a lot. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I miss my baby.<br><br>
My boss just came and asked me how I was doing and I couldn't even answer him and got all teary again. I feel like such a weak human being. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JSMa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15393703"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My boss just came and asked me how I was doing and I couldn't even answer him and got all teary again. I feel like such a weak human being. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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You aren't weak. You are coping with a terrible, horrible situation. You are surviving. You are getting through. There is nothing weak about that. Keep the faith Mama--you survive and that makes you STRONG. Many don't. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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You are STRONG -- so very strong!! You are doing something so difficult to protect yourself & your DD!!! I really admire your strength & courage and it sounds like you're doing everything you need to do.<br><br>
Give yourself time to cry, and realize you don't have to always be brave, it's OK to need a shoulder to cry on & I hope that you have a few people in real life to lean on right now too.
 
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