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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've googled developmental delays and depression to the nth degree.
http://www.howkidsdevelop.com/develo...ml#riskFactors
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2484845
http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/extract/330/7/478
http://www.wellsphere.com/women-s-he...opmental+Delay

Is it possible it's my fault my dd is showing some slight developmental delays> I took wellbutrin in the first and third trimester, and then while bfing for several months. Everyone says I shouldn't worry it's not my fault, etc., but I can't shake it.
 

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It's not your fault, that would be like saying if you had cancer it was your fault, ok, I know that can be, like smoking causing lung cancer, but I'm thinking the ones we have only much more subtle influence on. Sure, we can have a stronger immune system and have less colds, but we can't change everything, you may well be able to look at your own family and see genetic differences, my mum and my sister don't have wisdom teeth (not they didn't come through, they just aren't there at all), me and my dad do, so was it my fault mine got impacted and I needed them out, no, it was genetics.

Depression is more complex, but in the end it's still an illness, we can make better choices, take action sooner etc. but in the end if you need medication, it's not your fault, you got an illness that needed treatment, an unfortunate consequence of that is that you may have very slightly increased your child's risk of developmental delays, but you'd have caused other things by not treating it.

If I hadn't taken meds, I suspect my children wouldn't have a mother today, I didn't choose to get PPD, but I do choose to get treated for it, I'm sure the trauma of not having a mother is worse than slight developmental delays.

You can trace plenty of things back to things that happened in the womb, if you caused it, say fetal alcohol syndrome, or something related to smoking, then blame yourself (and even then it's a fuzzy line), but don't blame yourself for being smart and treating your depression.
 

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Just to add, having looked at those references, none of them distinguish untreated versus treated depression and most depression goes undiagnosed, it's not usually the medication that does the harm, it's the illness.

There is always a risk benefit profile to any treatment, but given how cautiously most people approach psychiatric meds, the fact you went on them whilst pregnant or breastfeeding, to me indicates that you almost certainly needed them.

Btw, isn't blaming yourself for things a symptom of depression, how are you doing right now?
 

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UN treated depression can cause developmental delays. If you were on meds, you eliminated that as a possible cause. The meds don't cause delay. Depression (excess cortisol in the blood, not enough serotonin) does cause problems. Doctors now know that it's safer to use meds to treat depression than to let it go unmedicated... for baby's sake.

So no... let yourself off the hook. in fact things could have been much worse had you NOT treated your depression with meds.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
It's funny you should ask, because I'm not sure. Not really given much time to think about it! I am doing ok I suppose.

I actually had to stop taking meds a few months ago for lack of money/doctor/insurance. I am still waiting to be approved for health insurance (it's been a battle- I was actually turned down once already due to being treated for asthma or depression or both), so I can go to a dr and get medicine. I called a pro bono counseling place that also helps one get referrals for medication. The pro bono place should also help me find a counselor in my area to work with free of charge, but obviously there's a lag time because the demand is high.

I am meeting with my DD's team leader tomorrow (provided the snow doesn't cancel it!!!) where we are going to review her needs and strengths and set up a plan of action. I find it really hard not to blame myself (I got drunk once before finding out I was preg, took meds for dep during pregnancy, delivered at 36 weeks due to pre-e, and took meds during the first several months of my daughter's life), even though I know that some things were out of my control and it would have possibly been worse without any meds. And most of her delays are very slight, so the hope is that with a few months/years of intervention, she will be up to peer level.

I'm so tired right now, and I am working three PT jobs (each about 10-12 hours a week), fighting for health insurance, trying to cultivate a relationship with my husband, fight to get a new dr for my daughter who doesn't force vaxs... I actually need to get off the comp to take care of some laundry etc.
 

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Guilt and self-blame are actually symptoms of depression. Did you know that? I think that you still might have unresolved depression and that these feelings are a result of that. I hope that you are able to get therapy and perhaps get back on some meds.


I can tell you that on the outside looking in at your situation, and as an objective observer, there is nothing you did to cause your dd's situation, and that you did and are doing your very best and that is wonderful. You are a wonderful mom and you are working very hard and love your child so much.

Hopefully, you will be able to see this in time, also, and know that by taking care of yourself by taking meds was the absolute right thing to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you. I've been reaching out to therapists and am planning on going to the dr regardless of what anyone thinks. My lo is only little so long, I don't want to miss a thing. She and dh are the best things to ever happen to me!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by asoulunbound View Post
Everyone says I shouldn't worry it's not my fault, etc., but I can't shake it.
That's a sure sign that your depression is coming back. To repeat what others have said: Untreated depression puts kids at greater risk for developmental delays. Yours was treated. The fact that you can't shake it suggests that this is the depression talking.

Your daughter was delivered a few weeks early because of pre-eclampsia. That puts her at higher risk for developmental delays. And then there are delays because of random factors that you will never know about.

Our ds has sensory issues, delayed fine motor development and some quirky characteristics. Were those because I had PPD? If I were depressed still, I might think so. My more rational brain looks at the genetics on both sides of the family and says "yep, too bad he got those genes."

Hang in there. I hope you get your insurance straightened out and can be feeling yourself again. The fact that you think so positively about your dd and dh is a good sign.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mom0810 View Post
UN treated depression can cause developmental delays. If you were on meds, you eliminated that as a possible cause. The meds don't cause delay. Depression (excess cortisol in the blood, not enough serotonin) does cause problems. Doctors now know that it's safer to use meds to treat depression than to let it go unmedicated... for baby's sake.

So no... let yourself off the hook. in fact things could have been much worse had you NOT treated your depression with meds.
This, exactly.

Both of my kids were preemies and had delays...and now, we're discovering that ds1's delays are not entirely due to prematurity but something else. I took Zoloft after my kids were born, while nursing. I don't feel at all that taking the medication caused my kids any problems at all, but I KNOW that if I hadn't and had been seriously depressed, I could not have parented my boys properly.

Take care!

mrsfru
 

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You did the right thing by taking a proactive approach to your mental health. I can tell you from experience that untreated PPD has what I consider to be much worse consequences than the slight risks we may take by treating it.

I experienced PPD, psychosis and a year and a half of OCD with my first born in '99. As a result, we missed out on quite a bit of mommy/baby bonding and he was left to entertain himself a LOT because I was an absolute wreck - scared to be around him. So before you beat yourself up for taking preventative action, think of what could have occurred and then give yourself a pat on the back.

Remember that every child has their own time schedule and it could have nothing to do with the Wellbutrin. My second son didn't want to walk until he was almost 1 1/2, talk until he was 2 1/2. I was on no medication during my pregnancy with him. My daughter did everything early and I was on meds towards the end of my pregnancy with her.

Above all, take care of you. And let others take care of you too! We all sometimes forget as moms that we're important too, so be sure to take time to nurture yourself and get the help you need. Let others be aware of your particular symptoms of depression to look for as well. It's so nice to have an outside perspective sometimes when we get caught up in our heads. It sure can be a prison!

You sound like a very loving woman. All of my love and support to you.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by asoulunbound View Post
ty. the therapist is nice. but now that i have insurance, i may not be able to afford my co-pay. awesome.
That is SO messed up! I'm so sorry!
Having insurance should not make health care less accessible
Can you work something out with your therapist?
 
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