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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, I dont care if she uses a spoon, a fork, a butter knife, or her hands. As long as she eats. I'm happy about the fact she's eating. It's not about that..

It's the Chewing with the mouth open bovine cow smacking nastyness that I can't live with.

She's 3.

I've asked her politely, please, we chew with our mouths closed and we dont smack our food it's yucky. Time and time and time again. The smacking is driving me up the wall! Like I mean it's driving me so crazy I wanna smack her across the face each time she does that. I restrain myself, but OMG is it ever gross...

I'm tempted to remove her from the table and feed her later if she can't eat nicely...

I can deal with mess

I can deal with dropped food

I can deal with the lack of utensils

I just CANT deal with the smacking sound and the sight of ABC food...
 

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Just a few questions I would ask myself.

Are there foods you can stand for her to do this with (If you want to smack food please do it with Jello instead of Broccli potatoes)?

Is there any chance that eating seperatly is possible (not suggesting isolation, just "taking turns")?

I know it seems remarkably different, but when my brother and I were in high school his eating bothered me so much that I would never eat a single meal with him. (think the scene with the oatmeal in Disney's version of Beauty and the Beast). There was really not much motivation for him to stop eating like a wildabeast, so I just removed myself the situation.
 

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i'm sorry for laughing! i'm the exact same way about the exact same thing!!!!

with my son... he absolutely would not chew with his mouth closed. and honestly it's not developmentally appropriate behaviour at that age anyway... but that doesn't make it any less maddening! (thankfully my daughter learned extremely well by example.)

personally ~~ i would separate meal times / eat separately. kind of sucky but that would give him motivation to chew with his mouth closed... if he wants company, he has to remember to chew with his mouth closed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
No, there are NO foods I can stand her smacking. The sound just drives me up the wall and the sight of Already been chewed food makes me want to just toss mine up into the toilet...UGH...heck my husband has jaw problems and his jaw clicks each time he bites into something and it drives me BONKERS.

Like I'm not Emily Post by a long shot when I eat...I do chew with my mouth shut and not talk with my mouth full. I try my damndest to emulate good manners, as well as my husband...she just wont copy...She'll copy everything else we do under the sun, but she wont copy proper eating procedure...(read mouth closed non smacking)

I know she doesn't have any jaw/pallate abnormalities. Her latch as an infant was perfect. First sign of jaw/pallate abnormailites is a crappy latch at birth. If she had such an abnormality I would forgive the transgression and live with it. But she doesn't. So I really have to enforce the "If you want to eat with everyone else, you have to do so nicely. Chewing with your mouth open and smacking your food is yucky" rule....
 

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I really love one or two word phrases for situations like this. I get emotionally tied up if I use many worded explanations so I find short phrases more useful. I typically use a reminder once and then I use a short phrase each time after. It may take a long time though if she is used to doing this and you are just now beginning to find it irritating or are just now wanting to make a change. Also, have you always felt like it is driving you crazy and told her so or is it just now with the heat and the pregnancy that you absolutely can't stand it? Is there some stress or something else going on with your relationship with your daughter in general that would make her want to deliberately annoy you? I have found that when I am in a parenting slump my dd gets deliberately obstinate because that is her way of dealing with it.
 

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3 years olds chew with their mouths open. It's something that you'll have to find a way to deal with for a while yet. I can't remember when they start chewing with their mouths closed (if gently reminded a bit at first sometimes) but I think it's around 4.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by katallen
I really love one or two word phrases for situations like this. I get emotionally tied up if I use many worded explanations so I find short phrases more useful. I typically use a reminder once and then I use a short phrase each time after. It may take a long time though if she is used to doing this and you are just now beginning to find it irritating or are just now wanting to make a change.
She hasn't been doing it for long. A week to two weeks tops...

I usually say "Mouth closed please, that's yucky"

Then she asks me why...that's when I explain.

I was trying to cut it off when she started....(the smacking that is)
 

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Having the vision of when I was a kid , eating at a friends house, and every single member of the family ate that way.... I sat there like a deer in the headlights.... Bizarre moment!
 

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I hear you on the total irritation. At this point I would make it a goal to totally ignore it for a week. That should let you know if she's doing it to get your goat
If it looks like she's doing it to get to you (ie it dies down when you don't respond) then keep not responding and it should mostly go away. If it keeps happening then it is probably just developmentally where she is. Try to praise her when she does it "right" and try not to let the wrong drive you too far off the deep end.

-Angela
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks. I'll start ignoring it. And if it doesn't go away in a week, I'll feed her seperately until she's able to chew with her mouth closed. I'll even help her practice during breakfast, lunch and snack times if it will help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by IncaMama
is she congested? it may be difficult for her to breathe with her mouth closed right now...just a thought

nope. No congestion. No jaw problems, no tooth problems, no nasal problems...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandora114
I know she doesn't have any jaw/pallate abnormalities. Her latch as an infant was perfect. First sign of jaw/pallate abnormailites is a crappy latch at birth. If she had such an abnormality I would forgive the transgression and live with it. But she doesn't. .
Just as a note - our son had absolutely perfect latch at birth and no trouble breastfeeding. He has significant palate abnormalities and had to work very hard to learn to chew and still needs orthodontia to correct mouth problems. Not to say your child has these challenges, but instead to suggest that latching is a very simple oral motor movement compared to other some other ones.

I understand why you are bothered. I also though think this is very developmentally appropriate behavior. If you do decide to work on it, I personally would avoid saying it is yucky because I think that is harsh and I'd personally hate to have someone refer to my personal habits as yucky especially if I didn't even really understand.

If you want to call her attention to it, I'd get something special for snack, put a standing mirror on the table and have a time to slowly model for her what you'd like to see in closed mouth chewing. After that I'd pick a single code word like "closed" as a cue to remind her.
 

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lol

i had to laugh too. i had a cow smacker there for a while. fortunately he got over it


i ended up eating at a different time for a while ... it was too much for me and i didn't want him to feel bad about it.
 
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