[Pandora114]

the Words

"JUST A MINUTE PLEASE??????"

when DD gets something in her head...she has to do it NOW, she wants me to do it NOW.

I'm on the can doing my thing, that really can't be interrupted..you know Pooping...well...She gets something in her head, and wants me to do it, like a drink of water for example.

"Just a minute please, I'm using the potty DD.."

She bugs and bugs and bugs, and tries to do it herself (as a result causing a HUGE HUGE HUGE Mess....a 3yr old just *cant* lift a 2L Full britta jug...)

Or lets say I'm in the middle of cleaning up dinner, and DH puts it in DD's head that she could use a bath...well I'm kinda up to my armpits in dish sudts...and he goes back downstairs and DD is proceeding UPSTAIRS to run her own tub. Jee thanks DH

DD: "I WANNA HAVE A TUBBY!"

Me: "Ugh.. JUST A MINUTE I have to get this glass cleaned *while trying not to drop a soapy glass*"

DD: *proceeds upstairs anyway*

Me * tries not to drop glass wipes off hands runs upstairs before DD burns herself by running the tub on her own*

Seriously, what part of "Just a minute please" is so difficult for a 3yr old to grasp?

I just ask for a minute to finish up what I'm doing..that's IT. Not like I'm asking her to wait like hours..just ONE STINKING MINUTE...

*sigh*

 

[User101]

*hugs*

This is just my theory but I think kids hear us use "Just a minute" so many times to sort of blow them off (a minute isn't really a minute, it's forever to them!) that it ceases to have meaning. I've been trying really, really hard to have my minutes really mean a minute. We have timers all over the house, so I'll often set it for one...three...five minutes and make sure I hop up and help them when it's time. Or, instead of "just a minute" I'll be more specific and say, "When Mama is done using the potty" or "as soon as I take the cookies out of the oven."

It's hard. Kids are definitely not abstract thinkers.

 

[kaylee18]

Hugs mama! You sound very frustrated. I know you may not be looking for a "fixit" (especially since I don't claim to know any of the details of your situation) - in which case, don't read any further than <hugs>.

But in case you also wanted some suggestions...

You could try giving a "plan of action" rather than simply saying "wait" (which may simply be a concept your dd does not yet understand). For example:

"Come help me do the dishes and then we will get you your bath."

or

"Bring me <doll's name> so you can both have a bath."

or

"Go downstairs and get DH so you can have a bath."

... basically, just an activity that will likely give you time to transition to helping dd. It might also help to set up some things so she can do them herself more easily (such as a Montessori cup and pitcher with her own water) and other things so she can't do them at all (such as turning the water heater way down so scalding isn't an issue and putting knob covers on the bath spigots so that she can't run the bath water).

hth - otherwise, more hugs to you! This too shall pass.

 

[Pandora114]

our spigot can't have a cover, it's one of those single turny knobby thingies KWIM??? *sigh* Trust me if I had covers I'd use em..

And we dont have a pitcher small enough for her to wield. That and it's an act of g*d for her to open the fridge, and when she does, she falls on her bum and I'm paranoid it falling on her too....then she drags a chair, and gets the britta jug..and OY!

If we had a little pitcher I so would!

 

[LynnS6]

I think they really can't comprehend "just a minute" and they have NO patience.

Even my 5 year old has trouble with that. So, tonight I'm nursing dd, he announces he wants toast. "I'll be happy to get you toast when I'm done nursing." "But MOOOOOM!"

Suggestions:
Instead of saying "just a minute" which is very vague, say "let's do that as soon as I'm done pooping!" The follow up with questions or suggestions as a pp suggested.

Can you turn down your water heater? That's what the experts suggest. Our "hot" water is a bit cool, but I know my kids won't burn themselves.

As for the pitcher. Tupperware makes (or used to make, not sure) a lovely 1 quart pitcher that a 3 year old can wield. I bought one for our 3 year old PRECISELY because of the kind of situation you are talking about. I was going NUTS with ds asking and asking and asking.. I fill ours up with water, he could pour it into the cup. (Keep the pitcher and the cups OUT of the fridge where she can reach it. Most kids don't care if the water is warm.)

I found one on Ebay:
1 quart tupperware pitcher

That's a good deal - if you don't buy it, I just might!!

 

[Pandora114]

umm...We aren't allowed to adjust our hot water heater in any way....

Base housing...

 

[LynnS6]

Grrr.. OK so you can't adjust the hot water heater. How about a lock for the door?

Oh and I find that it helps with my kids to repeat back EXACTLY what they said "Oh, you want a tubby." THEN insert "Great, let's do that as soon as I'm done with the dishes. Can you (insert something to keep dd busy) - get undressed? pick out a toy you want in the tub?"

I'd forgotten that unless I repeat back EXACTLY what they said, they don't think I've heard them.

 

[Pandora114]

I'll try the repeating thing. as for the lock, it would have to be one of those hook eye things that can go up top of the door frame...but she goes potty independantly now...so having a lock would be counterproductive to that...

*sigh* I guess I'll have to just keep redirecting her....

 

[dharmamama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandora114 "JUST A MINUTE PLEASE??????"

Well, for starters, "Just a minute" generally does not mean "in 60 seconds." It's generally a very ambiguous phrase that means "sometime in the future but not now." Perhaps you could try to be more specific. With my kids, I say, "As soon as I come out of the bathroom," "As soon as all of the dishes you see here have been washed," "When the big hand of the clock gets to 5," "After I take this pan off the stove," etc. My kids don't always know how long that will be, but they do know that their request is the next thing I will get to, and it helps a little.

Also, at three, you really can't expect your child to wait for you. You can't. She wants a bath and she wants it now and she sees no reason why she can't do it herself. Perhaps you can make things easier for her to navigate. Put a smaller jug of water in the fridge for her to pour. Better yet, leave a special sippy cup in there just for her. Show her how to start the tub water, and draw a big line to show how far she can turn the knob before it gets too hot. Or, if you have double handles, let her run the cold water. You can add the hot water when you get up there.

In summary, be more specific about exactly when you will help her, and try to set things up so she can help herself more.

Namaste!

 

[annarosa]

the concept of time is something that my 3.5 year old dd really has no idea on - she just has no concept of time and what it means
so how about giving her some suggestions for space filling activities - as others have already said - yes, let's have a bath, first help me wash these dishes
OK a bath sounds good, please go and do a big wee on the toilet first and take off your clothes