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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
OK. I'm not pregnant. But if I GET pregnant, I'm not going to attempt vbac. No sirreee. Absolutely not. Instead, I INTEND TO vbac.<br><br>
"attempt" is just one of those garbage labels thrown at us by practitioners who don't trust birth, right up there with "trial of labour." I'm striking it from my birthing vocabulary... and just wanted to invite all you mamas to do the same. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
xo Robin
 

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Robin,<br><br>
I'm glad you brought this up! I've also forbidden myself from saying "attempt" when it comes to my VBAC. It just sounds like setting yourself up for defeat.<br><br>
I think that "intend" is nice, because for women who don't want to feel disappointed if they DON'T VBAC, it still sounds more positive than "attempt."<br><br>
Kinda like doctors "allowing" women to birth the way they want. As though they're the ones in charge, and not being paid for by US. Sheesh.
 

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I usually say I've "planned" my VBAC. As in "I'm planning to VBAC in May".<br><br>
I don't like using "attempt" since it just sounds dangerous, or difficult. You "attempt" the summit of a mountain, or "attempt" to defeat a record, or whatever it is...but the word makes it sound both uncertain that you can succeed and difficult to do.<br><br>
I do like "intend" (I intend to VBAC in May <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) but I like the flexibility of "plan". I "intended" to birth naturally last time and through no one's fault it didn't happen (well, unless dd flipped herself around during labor on purpose, which I doubt). So "plan" makes me feel like I'm being positive and focused but I wouldn't feel as bad about a plan changing...it happens. If I "intend" to do something and then don't I think it would feel more like a failure to me?<br><br>
But that's just me, and I think whatever word makes you feel the most confident, empowered, and comfortable is the one to use!<br><br>
Yay VBAC mamas!
 

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I'm glad someone else thinks about this!<br><br>
When people ask if I'm attempting or trying for vbac, I say no! I say I'm HAVING a vbac!! Positive thinking all the way! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I hate reading posts when people say the doctor is "letting them" do something. Grr.
 

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One of my OBs (I have a husband-wife team) actually wrote a small chapter in one of Ina May's birth books about how the medical world uses words and power/authority. She focused a lot on the "lets" and "allows" used by doctors and hospitals.<br><br>
If you have Ina May's most recent childbirth book that section is a quick read and worth looking at...it really does drive home the power of language and how it can make a mama feel!
 

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I never used the word "attempted" while pregnant. I was having a VBAC. I was not attempting it. But I had a CBAC, and when referring to it now, I say I attempted a VBAC, I do not like to say that I had a failed VBAC, or that I failed. So I say that I attempted VBAC, and had CBAC. Because that is exactly what I did. I do wish there was some other words to portray that I wanted a VBAC, but had a CBAC.<br><br>
I do absolutely agree that not using those words is the right thing do do while pregnant <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Great post! I have battled with this myself. As a matter of fact, my VBAC blog is covered with the terminology "attempt" because I couldn't really think of a better way to put it. I love the words "intend" and "plan". Those are MUCH more positive. I will change my wording for the future.
 

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oh gosh- when I was planning to VBAC I was told I was not a VBAC, I was a TOLAC (trial-of-labor-after cesarean). I was told I was not officially a VBAC until I successfully "did it." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
It made me angry and even more desirous of proving I could do it- and I did!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Mama2E&O</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7967758"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">oh gosh- when I was planning to VBAC I was told I was not a VBAC, I was a TOLAC (trial-of-labor-after cesarean). I was told I was not officially a VBAC until I successfully "did it." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
It made me angry and even more desirous of proving I could do it- and I did!</div>
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Now THAT is freakin' ASTONISHING!!!! Yay you for clubbing 'em all over the head with your success! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Mamasgirls ITA there should be some better word, one that wasn't handed to us by those who set us up to fail. You could still say "intended" mind you... just because it was in the past, and it didn't work out, doesn't make your resolve in going for it any less valid or you any less brave a mama. Hugs hon.<br><br>
Wombat I like "plan" too. I insist on being assertive!!!<br><br>
I was such a polite, non confrontational girl before I had children... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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At this point, I say I'm <i>having</i> a HBA3C this year. I'm aware that things can go wrong, and there is a possibility of legitimate complications (ie. not iatrogenic) with any birth. But...if I'd never a c-section, I wouldn't be saying, "I'm going to attempt to give birth in November", so I won't say it now.
 

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I've gone from saying "planning" to saying "having" a hba2c, but at this point I just don't have any use for all the labeling and feel like it is simply a birth. I'm preparing for birth. Period. That's more than enough without all the extraneous definitions!!
 

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Yes- I very instantly would say that I was "going to have" a VBAC and when anyone would say anything doubtful I would just insist that I knew I would VBAC.
 

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another OB in my practice said to me "so i see you're going to atempt a VBAC" i shot her right back saying "No i intend to birth a baby, and my prefered mode of entry is vaginal"<br><br>
that way i dont feel like a failure if this baby comes via c-section, but that everyone knows vaginal is how i want it done!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>wombatclay</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963954"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I usually say I've "planned" my VBAC. As in "I'm planning to VBAC in May".<br><br>
I don't like using "attempt" since it just sounds dangerous, or difficult. You "attempt" the summit of a mountain, or "attempt" to defeat a record, or whatever it is...but the word makes it sound both uncertain that you can succeed and difficult to do.<br><br>
I do like "intend" (I intend to VBAC in May <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) but I like the flexibility of "plan". I "intended" to birth naturally last time and through no one's fault it didn't happen (well, unless dd flipped herself around during labor on purpose, which I doubt). So "plan" makes me feel like I'm being positive and focused but I wouldn't feel as bad about a plan changing...it happens. If I "intend" to do something and then don't I think it would feel more like a failure to me?<br>
!</div>
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I used "planning" too and still say that I "planned" a vbac with my 2nd baby but I very unfortunately had a cbac.<br><br>
Though it's nobody's fault, I get sad when I think about how I "intended" to birth my babies naturally both times, but it never happened.<br><br>
And I realize this is really, totally playing Devil's Advocate, but what other term could "they" use but "attempt"? The hospital can't say, "You WILL have a vbac!" Because sometimes it just doesn't happen no matter how incredibly badly I/we wanted it to (like in my case). I agree that calling it a TOLAC is ridiculous, but realistically hospitals couldn't ignore the fact that sometimes vbacs aren't successful. Sad, of course, but realistic.<br><br>
Now I do agree that of course all vbac mamas should use whatever terminology is empowering to them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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good thread.<br><br>
I have never attemped a VBAC either. I "have" them!!<br><br>
THis will be #5! Whoo Hoo
 

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I just plan a birth <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I don't like the idea that my birthing career is defined by having surgery the first time. No one calls my intestines something different when they're just plodding along doing their normal job just because I had my appendix removed years ago. I also think "planning a birth" takes all that VAGINAL pressure off because even when we make the best possible plans, there are very rare instances when women and babies do truly require surgery. Not all those dumb reasons that surgeons give, of course, but now and then it happens so I prefer to just talk to women about how they're having a birth and leave the pathologising to others. I find VBAC a useful label talking about a birth in retrospect where it clearly happened, or in shorthand terms to say a woman had previous surgery. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I like the term "preparing for a vbac". I really dislike the term plan with anything to do with birth, for my first I wouldn't even make a birth "plan". I made a birth "desires" sheet.<br><br>
"The best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry."<br><br>
it has been my experiences in life that the surest way to make something not happen how you want it to is to "plan" on it. maybe I just have terrible luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mainesax</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963989"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm glad someone else thinks about this!<br><br>
When people ask if I'm attempting or trying for vbac, I say no! I say I'm HAVING a vbac!! Positive thinking all the way! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I hate reading posts when people say the doctor is "letting them" do something. Grr.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I actually have a lot of trouble with the vbac label itself, as many have mentioned. But then I felt I was being disloyal when I found out the term was actually coined by the ican founders, and have been trying to see it as an empowering uniting thing... but I still have trouble with it. I just don't like labels, and it has actually been a real source of anger to me since dd's birth that I am now "labelled" - on the "wrong side of the statistics."<br><br>
Today is my dd's birthday. This afternoon, DH started the "reminiscing" thing that we do with ds's (beautiful home) birth. I stopped him dead. It was a horrible day and I don't want to relive it. Yes it was a year ago. But I"m not ready to do a blow-by-blow. tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow is the day they let us go home. 5 days from now is the anniversary of the day I called my MW and found out just how nasty the vbac battle is. Hell of a year it's been. Sorry to go OT it's jsut on my mind.<br><br>
xo Robin
 
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