[readytobedone]

okay, so the acronyms are officially out of control here

i am really liking the idea of the "healing birth after trauma"...and i know it includes me. but often i feel like the emphasis on healing births after c-sections (i do realize not all traumatic births are c/s!) is on VBACs (which is perfectly understandable!). and for some of us, VBACs are not in our futures for various reasons

so...

i am looking for other mamas, like me, who had a traumatic cesarean and are looking at having another cesarean (either by choice or necessity) for future births. i've decided to have another baby (at some point) and want to try to start working on making this next cesarean birth healing, even though it will not be, cannot be, the birth i ideally would want. i need to come to terms with that, and i need to try to make the next experience a vastly different one and a peaceful one, hopefully, even though the means of birthing will be the same. i hope that makes sense...

so anyone interested in a "healing cesarean birth after cesarean trauma" group??

 

[Hopeful VBA2C]

I have had two prior c/s and probably going to have to have a third only b/c I can not find a doctor willing to allow me a chance. I am very hurt at the fact I have had 2 c/s and just can't seem to come to terms with them and they were almost 5 years ago.. so sure I am interested in starting a group that might help me come to terms with the fact that I can't change my past and have to start looking ahead.

 

[Storm Bride]

I think it's a great idea. Until this pregnancy, I was sure I'd VBAC one day...but it's not going to happen, and I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with that. Mind you, I have trouble imagining a way to have a healing c-section. I know quite a few women have experienced it, but it's so far outside my ability to imagine...

 

[MoonStarFalling]

Me too. I've had two cesareans for cpd and I'm really unsure if I'll try for a vba2c. There is the issue of not having a provider willing to attend a vba2c too. VBAC just doesn't matter to me much at this point. My second cesarean was a good experience.

 

[jenneology]

Just popping in and saying I think this thread is a great idea for traumatized mamas and that healing cesareans are possible. There are cesarean techniques that are more mother friendly, and I've heard that doulas can make a difference during a cesarean. Mostly what I've heard is it requires a detailed birth plan and cooperation from the team performing the surgery as they need to comply with parental requests. I will try to remember where I have found those resources and post them later.

 

[noahs.mom06]

I always said if I had to have a c-section, I wanted it to be like this:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/20...icineandhealth

 

[Trooper]

I would also love to participate in such a group. My pregnancy was healthy until a failed ultrasound disguised the fact that I had late partial previa (i.e., it wouldn't fix itself) and found myself bleeding one day, which freaked me out. Long story short, I was in the hospital for a month of bed rest, had a not-too-helpful OB (though the nurses were great) who didn't tell me that there was a chance my son would have immature lungs, and then got to go home three days after his birth without him. He's doing fine now, but I had nightmares for several months, and needless to say, my marriage isn't doing too well right now. I need to resolve my experience such that I'm okay with it.

 

[croleRN]

I am definitely looking for a group like this. I have actually posted elsewhere - that I am desperate for a vaginal birth. My first - was VERY traumatizing (Induction @ 40.5; posterior, asynclitic, never progressed from 4-5cm). My second was better; I felt I used my voice. I worked to get a supportive HCP; labored unmedicated using doulas and CNM - staying active. But I just stopped dilating. Before my water broke on it's own, my bag was buldging & I was 7cm. After SROM it was 6cm - stayed for almost 10hr (including my involuntary pushing; cervical swelling; agreement to epi - and then rpt c/s)

But - just like I knew I was supposed to be a mom - I know I am supposed to have the birth I know I can. I feel robbed!!!

I will probably have another - since I doubt I will find a HCP to support a VBAMC. But I don't think I will go quietly.

 

[readytobedone]

wow, welcome all you mamas!

:

:

:

i started this thread and have not been a very good tender of it; sorry

so storm bride, you're pg now, right? congrats!

moonstarfalling and hopefulvba2c, are you guys pregnant now or just planning ahead? if it's the latter, when are you looking to TTC?

maybe if we could get this thread going a little more with positive ideas/suggestions for how to make that next c/s a healing one..

maybe we could start with something that was traumatizing the first time and provide an alternative that could be healing. so i'll start

one thing that really bugged me about my first section is not getting to really hold or nurse my daughter for so long (i saw and kissed her but she got whisked away and i didn't nurse her for 3 hours). next time around, if the baby is healthy, i would like to hold her immediately and nurse her ASAP. i would like not to be separated from her while in recovery.

another thing that bugged me last time was one of the medical personnel actually came to my birth and said "git-r-done"--

: yes, this really happened. and i like this doc, but seriously...

so i'd like to have none of that the next time. i'd like a more birth-like environment. not necessarily super-serious or anything, but just a little more respectful of the moment.

and i'd also like to have my DH and one other support person in the OR. if the baby has to be taken to the nursery, i want DH to be able to go with the baby and someone to be able to stay with me. last time we had to make a choice. he went with her (at my request) and we were all a wreck. he wanted to stay with me but knew i wanted to make sure she didn't get formula or anything.

okay, your turn!

 

[MoonStarFalling]

I would really like someone to stay with me in the OR too. I'd like to hold the baby while being sewed up and in recovery. It would be amazing to have the baby handed directly to me! My dream!

We're letting nature take it's course right now. I'm too scared to actually TTC but I really want another baby so I can't TTA either. Catch 22! I'm terrified of surgery and actually of doctors in general.

 

[shanniesue2]

Hi ladies,
I like this thread. Had DS by cesarean after an attempted HB. 25 hours at home. 6 in the hospital with a spinal block and pitocin. I never dilated past 8 cm, and DS never fully engaged. That's my very long labor story short.

Anyway in late September I started seeing a chiro for chronic low back pain. Found out I've got some milkd scoliosis, 2 bulging discs, and pelvic torsion. I've been keeping up with my Chiro treatments in the hopes that I will be able to give birth vaginally next time (not pg and not TTC... working on healing first). But I'm also trying to prepare myself in case a VBAC is not in my future.

Several things I have thought about asking for:
1. Both DH and a Doula present
2. An atmosphere that is respectful of birth (last time I had to ask the surgical team to stop talking about their personal errands and business)
3. To have the baby laid on my chest while they stitch me closed.
4. Maybe to have some soothing music playing in the background.
5. No medicine to "help me relax" after the baby has been born

 

[Nillarilla]

I will join.
I just had my 2nd c-section for fetal distress. My first child was born via c-section after an attempted homebirth. Meconium in the water and never dilated past 2 cm, baby never engaged and showed distress very early after transfer. The cord was around the neck and baby was asynclitic. Baby was whisked to the NICU for low blood sugar and suspected meconium aspiration. Hospital stay was traumatic. I didn't see baby for 1hr and then I don't remember much. Baby was given formula and gavage fed.

2nd baby we went in for a NST and baby showed significant distress. I was offered a pitocin drip as a trial but I was not dilated and cervix was still long. I wanted to avoid the long labor and emergency c-section. This time baby stayed in the OR until I was stitched. She was held by my face after a quick check until they were done with me. I had a bit of a panic attack before dh was allowed in I think I have a bit of ptsd associated with the first c-section. I cried through the whole thing. We latched baby while I was recovering. I got to keep her with me and we were only separated for a few minutes when I was transferred back from the OR. The recovery from this c-section had a few more painful complications and I didn't have very good pain control with either one. This "birth" was healing in that it made me face the trauma of the last one. This time the distress was due to a spiralling artery around the outside of the umbilical cord.

I could possibly have a VBA2C and will try but I am going to prepare myself for another c-section.

 

[readytobedone]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nillarilla I will join. I just had my 2nd c-section for fetal distress. My first child was born via c-section after an attempted homebirth. Meconium in the water and never dilated past 2 cm, baby never engaged and showed distress very early after transfer. The cord was around the neck and baby was asynclitic. Baby was whisked to the NICU for low blood sugar and suspected meconium aspiration. Hospital stay was traumatic. I didn't see baby for 1hr and then I don't remember much. Baby was given formula and gavage fed. 2nd baby we went in for a NST and baby showed significant distress. I was offered a pitocin drip as a trial but I was not dilated and cervix was still long. I wanted to avoid the long labor and emergency c-section. This time baby stayed in the OR until I was stitched. She was held by my face after a quick check until they were done with me. I had a bit of a panic attack before dh was allowed in I think I have a bit of ptsd associated with the first c-section. I cried through the whole thing. We latched baby while I was recovering. I got to keep her with me and we were only separated for a few minutes when I was transferred back from the OR. The recovery from this c-section had a few more painful complications and I didn't have very good pain control with either one. This "birth" was healing in that it made me face the trauma of the last one. This time the distress was due to a spiralling artery around the outside of the umbilical cord. I could possibly have a VBA2C and will try but I am going to prepare myself for another c-section.

i'm glad your second c/s went better than the first, mama. sorry you didn't get adequate pain control, though--you mean with recovery or during the actual surgery/birth?

oh, and congratulations on your new baby!

:

 

[mamamccloud]

Hello, I will join in here since it is exactly what I am looking for.

I am 3wks and 5 days away from my c-section. I have officially lost the battle for a VBA2C to my uterus as of tuesday, when I got the u/s measurement that my uterus is VERY thin and possibly already has a dehiscene or window.

I have a 2yr 9mo old son who was born c/s after dropping heart beats of 60 beats per minute for two minutes and similar descelerations. His umbilical cord was really short and the contrax were pulling on it. That c-section was fine great recovery no problems and a great baby. It wasn't until aftwards, that I just mourned the loss of having him vaginally. It was like it came out of nowhere. I was always wondering what if and what happened and why?

I became pregnant again when he was 9 months with dd and ran into alot of great information and began preparing for a VBAC. I waited and waited to go into labor and never went. At 42 weeks she was not doing very well and she was non reactive, showing that she would not tolerate labor. So I was told I had to have a c-section, and was momentarily devastated and cried very hard for about 15 minutes and then faced reality and was able to find the bright side. In the c/s it was found out that my uterus had a dehiscence or window/tear so that was probably why I didn't go into labor and it was better that I didn't. My daughter was given to me pretty quickly and began nursing on the table as I was stitched up. They were very prepared for her to have problems since she was so non-reactive during her tests. She was a bit limp, but picked up very well and has been great since. The birth was better than my first, but also I had a great recovery and baby. Nothing went wrong. I did what was best for my baby. But the pain came again that I wanted to deliver vaginally and have my freedom back and not feel so dependent upon medicine.

I was unprepared to find out I was pregnant again when my daughter was 6 month old. I knew that even though I had the window, I'd planned to wait a while like two years get pregnant again and then bring up the subject of VBAC. I felt crushed and doomed to a c-section. So, I've sat quietly doomed for the the first 7 months of this pregnancy. About a month ago, I snapped out of it and decided that I could not just "go under the knife" again, and began to research and search to see if I could VBA2C. At some points it looked like I could, then not, then I could and I began to prepare for childbirth again as I waited two weeks for the last peice to the puzzle - "How did my scar heal after only 6 months break - How thick was my uterus?" After my research I knew that I would have the best chance if my uterus were 2 mm thick and I would mathmatically be playing russian rullet if it was less than 1.6. It is only 1.3 and 1mm thick at my previous incision site.

I mourn the natural birth, so my goal is to make this process as close to a natural birth as possible. I want my baby in my arms immediately without being wiped down. I want know what a newborn baby is like. I want the baby to come to me and stay with me. I'll add my birth plan, but I think that this post is long enough already. I do have to include this link though, because I was so inspired by it. It lets me know that all things are possible in c-sections. http://www.birthrites.org/OliverBS.html

 

[Nillarilla]

Quote:

Originally Posted by readytobedone i'm glad your second c/s went better than the first, mama. sorry you didn't get adequate pain control, though--you mean with recovery or during the actual surgery/birth? oh, and congratulations on your new baby! :

Thanks, and by pain control I mean during recovery. I am allergic to codiene so once they medication they give you during the surgery wears off I am on to plain tylenol and ibuprofen which is not adequate when you have to be up and about with your newborn. This time I had to have morphine because of a referred shoulder pain from air being trapped inside during the surgery. I thought I was going to die. This was possibly one of the worst pains I have ever felt. I was also incredibly itchy from the medication post surgery and I cannot take benadryl so I couldn't sleep at all the first night.

I think next time I am going to use a hypnosis technique for getting through the surgery without a panic attack and for dealing with the pain afterwards.

 

[mamamccloud]

Nillarilla,
I also was so itchy after my first c-section. I remember that being the worst part of the whole experience - accept getting the staples removed. I was sooooo uncomfortable and could only get relief from sleeping on a blanket from home. I think that the plastic beds were compounding the problem. So, I'm sorry about your experience, but I'm grateful that you mentioned it. I'm having repeat #3 in less than 4 weeks and I had forgotten about the itching. I will be remembering to bring a blanket.

 

[magnoliasmama]

As a woman who fully accepts the possibility of never being able to birth vaginally, I love this idea. I have often wondered why MDC doesn't have a c-section sub forum. Many of us wanted natural births, but really needed c-sections. I hate how MDC and the natural parenting community fails to represent all the ways in which women give births.

 

[readytobedone]

Quote:

Originally Posted by magnoliasmama Many of us wanted natural births, but really needed c-sections. I hate how MDC and the natural parenting community fails to represent all the ways in which women give births.

yep. or how VBAC is just thrown around like the "solution" to the problem of having had a traumatic c-section. my c-section wasn't traumatic because it was surgery; it was traumatic because it was ill-planned, went badly, and DD was born half-dead. so i figure for me the focus should be on how to have a healing cesarean birth (the focus HAS to be on that, since VBAC is not an option for me) rather than on avoiding c-sections.

so that's why i started this thread, where i don't want VBAC to be touted as a solution, and i don't want c/s to be glossed as terrible avoidable "non-birth" births. if it's the only birth i can ever have, goshdarn it, it needs to be considered a BIRTH! right?

 

[Nillarilla]

Quote:

Originally Posted by readytobedone so that's why i started this thread, where i don't want VBAC to be touted as a solution, and i don't want c/s to be glossed as terrible avoidable "non-birth" births. if it's the only birth i can ever have, goshdarn it, it needs to be considered a BIRTH! right?

I think the biggest emotional scar for me with my 1st c/s was the fact that I always wondered if it was avoidable or if I had somehow done something to cause it. Once I came to realize it was really unavoidable and necessary for the health of my child I felt "healed". Only then did the guilt go away and that was not until after the birth of my dd almost 3 years later. All the research on c/s's that I read was on avoidance not on making them a pleasant birth experience.

Anyone have any tips on making the c/s an active experience rather than a passive one? I think this is what I struggle with most.

Yeah why doesn't MDC have a medically necessary c/s forum? I know of at least 5 people in my DDC alone who could have benefited from it.