[mimim]

I've been charting for about 8 years, and I've used it to avoid and to conceive. Never had an oops. However, my new partner doesn't trust it at all. I showed him my chart and I'm planning to give him TCOYF to read. Anyone have anything else that might help convince him that it's legitimate?

I have been thinking about alternatives, but it's not very promising. I hate hormonal bc and spermicide irritates me. I guess I'd consider a copper IUD, but that's the only other form of bc that might work for me besides condoms. I'd rather not, because I'm worried about side effects from that too. Neither of us wants a prenancy ever.

 

[echospiritwarrior]

I know this isn't in answer to your question, but what side effects are you worried about with the ParaGuard (copper IUD) I've had mine for about a year now and haven't noticed any side effects. Just curious, really.

I've only started learning more and more about FAM but seeing as I've had really, really wacky cycles all my life and another baby just really won't be very good for us right now I went with the hormone free IUD. I also like that it will last 9 more years if we decide not to remover it sooner than that.

 

[elisent]

You've only been together a few months, right? I would probably use condoms just for STD reasons, but also so your partner has that extra assurance that he's not going to become a father without wanting to.

Have him read TCOYF and show him your charts. If he can consistently see you interpreting things correctly he will be more likely to trust it. When I started using NFP 7 years ago I was always able to predict to my DH when AF would come the day before because of my temp dip. A few times when I didn't ovulate until later in my cycle he would start freaking out when CD28 hit. I told him no worries, I ovulated on CD25 and AF would be coming in eight days. Sure enough, it would.

After a few times of that he saw that it worked and liked how I wasn't freaking out that I might be pregnant at the end of every cycle like I did when I was on the pill.

 

[texaspeach]

if you don't want a pregnancy, ever, what about permanent sterilization (a vas for him, tubal ligation or essure for you)?

TCOYF explains why it works, the art of natural family planning gives stats on how effective the different rules are.

 

[jasper28]

Honestly, FAM works, NFP works, but every method has a failure rate. The truth is, if you have to convince him that it works, it may be an ugly situation if you happen to have an oops or just a plain old fashion method failure situation. If he is truly worried, choosing a method that leaves some of the overall responsibility on his shoulders may help. Also, using backup for awhile until he understands the science behind NFP might be helpful too.

I think that NFP and FAM really work and are valid bc options. My midwife totally supports their use and has given me advice numerous times. I think that they leave alot up to fate though......meaning, if you decide to test fate in the heat of the moment!!

Good luck in whatever you decide

 

[mimim]

Thanks for the responses. I think that the idea that he just needs to see how it works over time is right. We can keep using condoms for a while longer.

On the same note, I need some time to be ready to think about other methods if he continues to feel distrustful of FAM. I have no idea how this is going to work out in the long term anyway. We've been together for only 3 months. I really am enjoying him on many levels, but I am most definitely not looking to get married again. And he already knows that if we do have an accident, I will not continue the pregnancy.

An IUD definitely seems like a possibility, although I'm not crazy about the idea of potentially having to deal with heavier and more painful periods or worrying about the device migrating. Also, I am allergic to nickel and I am a bit concerned about reacting to the metals. Essure has nickel in it, so it's not an option for me. Too bad, because I would consider it. I won't do a tubal, because the procedure is too invasive. I can't see having surgery for something that's not life threatening, especially if I will only benefit from it for 10 or 15 years. (I'm 34) There is a chance that he would consider a vasectomy, but we're really not at the point of discussing it yet, anyway.