Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 27 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We live only about 6 miles+ from local hospital, but hubby is scared about home birth because our first baby they had to bag (breathing problems) and work on for 1/2 hour and it was kinda scary. Our next two births were wonderful and virtually no problems. The last two I did it all natural no pain relievers, and the first problem birth I had a cervical block. I wonder if the cervical block and the Cytotec mix had a big influence on my baby's problems.<br><br>
Anyway down to the title question...My hubby is scared because of that, (he is EMT) and wants to be on the safe side.<br><br>
There is a nice new motel with suites right when your coming into town, and I read about a woman who delivered in a motel and met her midwife there. THe motel would be only about 2 min+ from the hospital. I thought I would consider this if my hubby would agree with having the hbirth midwife!! I need more natural midwifery care than I had in my last 3 pregnancies!! I have been induced with all 3!!<br><br>
Please add comments, opinions, and expereinces ect. Thanks sooo much!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,878 Posts
First, while I am not an expert, I certainly have read many times that anasthesia can cause breathing problems in newborns. So you may be right that it was the problem with your first birth.<br><br>
Second, I have heard of people giving birth in motels/hotels so I am sure it is possible. Personally I am very squicked out by the idea. Hotels are GROSS. Hospitals ain't that great either, but at least there's gestures made towards sanitizing them. One of the main advantages of homebirth as far as safety is that you are among your own germs (to which you already have some immunity that you can pass on to the babe) and that wouldn't be the case in a hotel.<br><br>
The other thing that bugs me about hotel birth is that I feel it is sort of inconsiderate towards the staff. I have worked crappy service jobs and one of my best friends for a while was the manager of a motel. She had to clean up the most disgusting things in her job. It was scary. I know many births don't make much of a mess, but you can never guess in advance. Personally at my homebirth my water broke all over my dog's bed/blanket, saturating it, and then I bled profusely all over the sheets and mattress when the placenta came out, even though I had it covered with shower curtains and chux. I would really hate to leave that kind of mess for some poor underpaid hotel manager/maids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Honestly I think your husband's fear is going to be an issue no matter where you birth--home, hospital, or hotel. I think you guys need to work through that together rather than running from it. Maybe having him have a sit-down with your midwife alone would help him trust her abilities and her competence to deal with emergencies.<br><br>
Best of luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,099 Posts
I know my old mw had a number of moms deliver in motel rooms. They lived way way out in the boonies and want to be close the the mw and or hospital.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,212 Posts
"Home" feels cozy and safe; I can't imagine a hotel room feeling the same way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,355 Posts
If I had no choice, and it made me feel safer to be close to a hosp. (I live close to one) I'd do it! I'd make a lot of preparations, take a lot of precautions (I don't like other people to deal with my messes and garbage) regarding mess and my personal comfort, sanitation... am I going to sit in the tub? I'd have dh clean it properly first etc etc. but yeah, if it makes you feel better why not?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone! Yes If I did that, I would bring my own pool, and we would clean up our own mess, rest assured!! This motel is pretty new, probably there are rooms that possibly have never been used? Anyway we live in a VERY small town area and the hospital only has 2 rooms for moms in Maternity, so you get the idea, we are kind of in the "boonies" in our own way!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
372 Posts
Over the years I've done a few "motel" births for women who live in remote, hard to access places.<br><br>
There were fine, but it's not the same as your home, of course.<br>
The question always comes up - are you honest with the motel owners what you are planning and ask their permission ? I think if you were to ask permission, the owners might see it as a legal responsibility and say no. One motel birth I did I had to ask the women not to be so loud. I was afraid she would disturb the other guests, or scare them.<br><br>
Luckily, I live in an area that is a destination for many folks, so we have a lot of vacation rentals - which I think are more "homey". I even know one owner who loves the idea of having births at her place. She has a few cottages and will even leave the key out for birthing women in case they "check in" in the middle of the night.<br><br>
The other idea is to put an ad in the paper. Sometimes, depending on when you are due (summertime, holidays...) you can rent someones home for a week or so and feed their cat, etc......I had one couple put an ad in the paper saying they needed a place to have their baby and they got a number of calls.<br>
Good luck...<br><br>
Carla
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
So if my hubby says, in the motel with midwife or in the hospital with doctor, what would you choose if you were given the choice? I probably would say motel!! I love the midwifery model of care in pregnancy, and have found one that said she would take me for my next pregnancy, even though I have had Gestational Diabetes twice! I am trying to think of any ways to convince or comprimise with hubby so I can have a Midwife, and yet him still be ok with it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,428 Posts
Midwives carry oxygen and are usually certified in rescusitation, so even if the baby needs help breathin she'll know how to deal with that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,099 Posts
You know come to think of it six miles really is close to a hospital. I wouldn't birth in a motel being that close to the hospital.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
24,729 Posts
yes, the breathing problems were probably precipitated by the drugs that were given to YOU.<br><br>
A good homebirth midwife can get a baby going who is having problems and should know when to transport. Paramedics or you can transport yourself if needed. If you want to go to a motel, you would not be the first woman to do that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Actually my husband is an Emergency Medical Technician also, so that would also help...he would know what to do in an Emergency. I just hope I can convince him to do a Hbirth. Our hospital does not have a tub, or a birth pool of any type and the rooms are fairly small, and Im pretty sure they would not allow a waterbirth. Labor sounds sooo wonderful in a tub/pool. I spent alot of time in the shower, and it helped!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,907 Posts
My former mw attended a birth at a motel and the manager called the police because he thought someone was performing an abortion. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
I'm on the border of CA/AZ, in AZ, and I've found many CA mw's willing to take me as a motel-birther, but I have absolutely no interest. To me, that's almost like hospital-birthing in the sense of: having to pack up all my stuff, be in a car during labor, find someone to watch my kids, be in a place that isn't my home (although it probably is more comfy than a hospital, motels are still kind of icky), and then go back in a car home later. Not to mention bringing a birth tub or whatever.<br><br>
6 miles is REALLY close to a hospital, in my opinion. Seriously, that would take, what? 10 min at the most?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Youre right it only takes about 10 minutes + to the hospital from our house, and probably if my husband was driving Emergency to the hospital we may be able to make it in 6 minutes or less. He has driven the ambulance lights and sirens, so Im sure he could get me there fast.<br><br>
The motel idea was maybe kinda dumb? Scince we live so close to the Hospital But I do want a midwife, Just hope DH agrees to it!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,737 Posts
If you were living 50 miles from the nearest hospital then I'd say yes, but 6 miles is only a 10-15 min drive which is just fine! Our hospital is about 6 miles away and we'd transport there unless we had a prolapse or something (which is not very likely at all).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
340 Posts
in all reality, if you needed an emergency transfer, they are probably equidistant as far as time...an ambulance coming right up to your door is a whole lot quicker then running into a hotel and trying to find your room, and you dont want to be dealing with getting yourself or the baby all the way to the hotel doors in an emergency...<br><br>
plus, id be scared someone was going to call the police, or make a complaint that would alert security and kick us out for liability concerns...<br><br>
you're a lot closer to the hospital then most! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,594 Posts
Oh heavens, stay at home! Find a few midwives and do some interviews. Make sure your husband goes too so he can ask all his "what if" questions. With healthy pregnancies, almost nothing happens that requires immediate medical attention <b>or else</b>.<br><br>
I had a hard time convincing my DH to do a homebirth, too (of course I started long before we started TTC). He is also trained as an EMT (served as a trauma medic in Iraq) and his biggest concern was that homebirth meant no emergency equipment, and we stay at home no matter what. I was the first to tell him that many HBMWs carry oxygen and resuscitation equipment (my mws can't intubate, but they do have O2 and ambu-bags), and that if we get an inkling that anything's going to go wrong, we'll go to the hospital first thing. We're about ten miles from our hospital and we still feel pretty safe deciding to do it at home.<br><br>
Another thing that helped DH "convert" was actually seeing the difference between the OBs office and the MWs at home. I scheduled both appointments for the same day, and he felt marginalized at the OBs office (he felt like an intrusion in that very feminine space, and was largely ignored by the staff). He would have accepted that as "normal" if we hadn't had the consultation with the HBMWs that night, and they talked openly with him and were very friendly and welcoming, and comfortable in our tiny apartment (we've moved since then, thank god). He came to my first prenatal too and felt very welcome there.<br><br>
Finally, I did a ton of reading, and I started sharing statistics and horror stories with him over time (it helped that I took a maternity clinical at a local, high-intervention hospital and had some first-hand, recent experience). While before he met me his knowledge of pregnancy and childbirth was in his training, and consisted of "if a woman says she's about to have a baby, she is", now he's an advocate for me when we face adversity from other people, and he's started noticing other people's hospital horror stories and realizing that they were mostly preventable.<br><br>
Good luck mama and keep us posted! (Sorry if I talk too much)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
693 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thanks ladies!! I just dont want to get my hopes up too high, but even if we would have delivered at home, and even IF my son had all those breathing problems, we still would have been OK I think. Because, with my husband and the midwives combined skills, and being soo close to the hospital, it would have been ok, probably. Now I just have to convince him of that. Anyway, when I delivered at this hospital the last 2 times I had to sign a paper (thats right!) that it was more risky or whatever delivering there because of the surgeon is on call, they have to call him, he has to drive like 20 minutes I think, and then they can proceed with c/s? Im not sure, but I do have to sign a paper if I plan to deliver in that hospital, because its more risky for emergency c-section. They have only 2 beds in maternity too!! We kinda do live in the boonies huh?: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I like the hospital and I like my doctor, but like I said before, the midwifery model of care is what I like. Not being RUSHED at my prenatal appointments. I don't really care for the rushed 10 minute appointment at the doc sometimes! I read somewhere that the average midwife appt is 1 hour and the average doc appt is 15 minutes. I want to feel like all my questions are answered, ect. I am sure you understand!! Now for my sister in law, she just about bled to death in the last two births, and even delivering in the hospital.I am sure you can believe this but her last baby they hardly caught it in time, she couldve died. Those hospital poeple<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
Ok I am rambling. But thank you anyway.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,594 Posts
My last midwife appointment was two hours. It was a lot of fun.
 
1 - 20 of 27 Posts
Top