[Faith]

This is about my SIL and her DD...

SIL got pregnant by a guy, who turned out to be -well, a big jerk. He got physicially abusive a few times, etc. They broke up, and never lived together.

As is it now, her DD is four years old. She has had some visitation with him, almost all supervised for short periods. Her DD had been seeing a therapist for the courts, and the therapist and two medical doctors found DD to be sexually abused. That was about a year ago, and SIL stopped all visitaion.

Things have been fine until just now, when the dad got back into court and got the abuse thrown out. Now he is scheduled to get his visitations back, and SIL is very upset.

We live thousands of miles away from SIL in a different state, and she has said she would like to move here to get her DD away from the dad.

I am wondering about the legalities of it. What if she just left? What if she tried to get 'permission' to move? Can he stop her? Could he stop her if she was allready here? How long can she 'vacation' here?

I am concerned about her DD, and just thought I would try to help as much as I could.

 

[Jasmyn's Mum]

This is Canada so I'm not sure. If they have never been married or lived together, she should already have full custody. As for leaving, that's what I'm going through right now. Although he's not fighting me on it, from what I understand is that if she can prove that the move would be in the best interest of the child and herself i.e moving closer to family, starting up a business, being away from a pedophile, he can't stop her. She should be journalling every incident, times he sees the child, anything that would show that he's a jerk. There should be lawyers out there who give free half hour consultations. SIL should find out your laws. Hope that helps!!

 

[maatmama]

If they have never been married or lived together, she should already have full custody

This is not always true. I live in NJ and am going to court for custodial and legal custody so that I can make legal and medical decisions as well as travel abroad or move without consent from ds father. We were never married or lived together and he lives in another state but because his name is on the birth certificate he does have some rights. (I went to a lawyer who told me all of this)

 

[Patchy Dragon]

I know in the State of NC, that unless it is stated within your parenting/divorce agreement, it is fair game.... BUT... if the opposing party is willing to go the mile and fork some "dough" they can place an injuction or force you to come back.

HINT: FILE before the opposing party does in the state as soon as you move! This give you the upper hand if the opposing party files an injuction or review of the current agreement filed with the state.

 

[ktmama]

Going through something similar right now and my parenting agreement states that neither of us will move out of the state, so I filed a motion for "removal". We are doing a custody study to see what my daughter's advocate will say to the court regarding this issue. My advice is to have a lawyer review her parenting agreement and/or get some legal advice. I would in NO WAY recommend that she move with the child - unless she wants the FBI searching for her! Based on some high profile cases, law enforcement takes the cases of missing children VERY seriously ie: Amber Alerts. I think an attorney should be able to answer her questions in less than an hour - then she can at least make a plan. Good luck to your SIL and keep us posted.

 

[Ravin]

It's unlikely she would be charged w/ kidnapping her own daughter if she informed him in writing by certified letter of her new address and it's not prohibited by visitation agreements.

 

[Faith]

Thanks so much everybody!

I will talk to her again and try to find out more specifics and see if she can get some legal advice. It is a complicated situation not only because of the obvious, but because SIL just doesn't really always seem to understand everything that is going on or know why certain things happen in court... She is a great person, but not up on looking into things, which means sometimes things just seem to happen to her, yk?

As far as I know, she does have full custody.

I know at one point she was ready to give up because no one in the courts would believe her. But she seems to be ready to move out here now, so hopefully this works out for her. MIL is upset and ready to help her get here, too, so at least SIL has a lot of support.

I will let you know if anything happens.