Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 24 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
502 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have what seems to be a high-needs 4 month old (adjusted age.)<br><br>
When it's nap time, or bed time, it's very obvious. Sometimes he will nurse & drift off peacefully, but more and more often lately there is A LOT OF SCREAMING. As in, he screams and screams while we hold him, carry him, rock him, lie down next to him to try to get him to take any item to suck on, etc. He is obviously extremely overtired while all of this is going on, & eventually he will calm down enough to suck on something & fall asleep within 5 minutes. But that can be after literally a couple hours of screaming.<br><br>
I feel like this is "parent-supervised CIO" and I am not impressed with it. What can we do to help calm him down? He does have reflux, has been anemic, and has had colicky tendencies since week 3 or so.. but the screaming has just gotten worse lately! Help!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,931 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
We had a refluxy baby too (she is now better). Do you think maybe the meds aren't working right? There are a few different ones out there.<br><br>
We found that until we got one that worked our DD was absolutely miserable...and so were we.<br><br>
I also hear that they can get accustomed to the meds and need a different kind to work well. just a thought.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
502 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Our ped. seems to be in the "reflux meds are overprescribed, and he'll outgrow it soon anyway" school. Perhaps I need to press that issue more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,931 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrs_mandolini</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7956671"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Our ped. seems to be in the "reflux meds are overprescribed, and he'll outgrow it soon anyway" school. Perhaps I need to press that issue more.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
We just got off them and my DD is one. Some babies really need them. Preemies (I'm not sure if yours is one) are quite prone to reflux problems. We too had to really fight our ped for something but I don't think it's "normal" for a baby to cry in pain for hours.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
764 Posts
my daughter had reflux as an infant. we treated it homeopathically which was the recommended route for a child who was gaining weight (we lived in italy).<br><br>
we also did many other things to help her be comfortable.<br><br>
if your child has untreated reflux, it makes sense that lying down to sleep would cause screaming. things to try:<br><br>
keep the sleep surface elevated to about 30% (if he's in a crib put two legs on those bed risers they sell at bed, bath, and beyond). just putting pillows behind him will prop only half of his body, and cause bending his torso which can increase reflux.<br><br>
hold him on your shoulder for 20 minutes after each time he nurses. if he nurses to sleep, wait for him to fall asleep and then hold him upright. this is the period in which most of the acids flood the stomach to digest the food, and if your baby is lying down those acids wash right up into the esophagus.<br><br>
there's a huge catch 22 with reflux in a baby - reflux makes them cry, but crying makes them reflux. i would do anything possible to not let my daughter cry. ever. i know this is not easy. believe me, i know, but i think it's really important.<br><br>
Recognize that your son may have developed a fear of lying down and consequently fear of sleep as this is probably the most painful time for him, even though he may be too exhausted to cry about it anymore. can you allow him to sleep on your shoulder in a rocking chair for a while, to get him to trust sleep again?<br><br>
i'm sorry you're going through this. reflux is terrible for mother and child.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,537 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrs_mandolini</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7956671"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Our ped. seems to be in the "reflux meds are overprescribed, and he'll outgrow it soon anyway" school. Perhaps I need to press that issue more.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Press the issue,I'm not one to use tons of meds but if you give meds and he's still screaming then it's prob not reflux so whats the harm.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
481 Posts
HUGS!!! Been there!! I don't know if this will help, but things got better for us when I eliminated dairy from my diet. I'm no doc, but it sounds like maybe a food sensitivity of some sort. That can contribute to reflux and cause digestive problems (hence anemia, etc). Just a suggestion. Best wishes to ya... I know how hard it is!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,615 Posts
My high needs baby does not have reflux and was not premature - and she still yells before going to sleep. It's just HARD for her to accept transitions.<br><br>
She'd rather play all day long than have to take a nap - even though she'd be miserable, rubbing her eyes and fighting the sleepiness the whole time. She has never transitioned well/easily. She has only ever twice in her life fallen asleep in her swing. It has to be a long drive to fall asleep in the car/carseat. I usually have about 15-minutes or so of parenting her to sleep, even for a nap that I'm lucky if she'll stay down for 45 minutes.<br><br>
It's just the way she's wired. She's never been an "easy" baby. She fusses to sleep almost every time, unless I hit on that perfect sleepiness window, combined with just the right amount of nursing and all other things must be perfect - she must be wrapped up, she must be able to hear her sound machine, she must be neither too warm nor too cold, etc.<br><br>
My DD is 7.5 months old, and this is just the way she is. My MIL, who was the oldest of 13 kids, had three of her own, and has been the full-time since birth caregiver for her other 3 grandkids (so, lots of hands-on baby experience) has never seen a baby like my DD. We're always amazed at DD - the bright, alert eyes since day 1, the amazing physical abilities and steadiness, the ravenous appetite, the inability to self-soothe - it's all just part of who she is, how she is, how she's wired.<br><br>
My DD did better once I realized the caffeine (what little I ingested) was bothering her. No more once-or-twice a week Diet Coke, very, very little chocolate, no coffee. I'm sensitive to caffeine, so I never have very much and no I've basically cut it out altogether. DD is better this way, and she's only little for such a short time, I'm OK with giving it up for her.<br><br>
It's hard, I know. It's hard to know the baby is tired and yet nothing you do that would make a "normal" baby sleep is working. We all have these romanticised views of "normal" babies. You have to parent the baby you have, not the baby you want.<br><br>
It's worth talking to the ped again, and maybe getting a second opinion, if you think the reflux warrants medication. It may help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,855 Posts
My 2nd dd was high needs. Very colicky. (sorry, grabby teething baby in my arms, so this is short). i bought <span style="text-decoration:underline;">The Fussy Baby</span> by Dr. Sears. The colic dance, in particular helped TONS. G/L, Mama!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
One of my best friends had this with her first, also around the same time, and she discovered that it was because they were already overtired by the time they started showing any signs like rubbing eyes (twins). Her solution was to figure out what time they normally got tired, and start putting them to sleep 20 minutes earlier, and it worked.<br><br>
Of course, it won't help if there's any bigger issue...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,774 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I have "graduated" from this forum but your post caught my eye. DS was extremely colicy and I will share with you what worked for him.<br><br>
Try the vacuum cleaner (I know I know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> ) but it would put him right to sleep.<br><br>
Turn on your dryer<br><br>
Try your Hair dryer<br><br>
All 3 things calmed him down immediately.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I have SO been there and I know how hard it is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,446 Posts
bia<br><br>
wow this was my son two weeks ago....i tried a bath w/lavender baby wash and infant massage w/lavender baby lotion he goes to bed at night no problem...now he'll take a nap sometimes...he was prescribed meds for reflux...never worked...yogart seems to have helped but he is older than you baby so i doubt that helped...oh yeah and he has always slept on a pillow...it was always so distressing that he would cry no matter what we did...i hope it gets better momma <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,639 Posts
My baby is usually a pretty calm baby, but sometimes he gets in MOODS. I've had luck with a combination of swaddling him in his swing while vacuuming. Sometimes a paci thrown in for good measure.<br><br>
Good luck... It's so hard when your baby is upset and nothing you do seems to help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
502 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
Thanks to all of you for responding.<br><br>
Yes, he was a preemie (32 weeks.) Yes, he has always been "ON," and is SO alert and into everything and hates having to stop looking around & being interested, even when he's screamingly tired.<br><br>
We definitely do the colic dance from time to time around here. And he does seem to like the loud white noises although the vacuum scares him to death.<br><br>
It sounds like I need to push the reflux issue. And I think I need a new ped- I don't mind that she's non-interventionist on this issue, but she's not really AP friendly. I've kind of been waiting for the "preemie issues" to be over before I switch, so maybe this will be the last visit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrs_mandolini</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7961981"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks to all of you for responding.<br><br>
Yes, he was a preemie (32 weeks.) Yes, he has always been "ON," and is SO alert and into everything and hates having to stop looking around & being interested, even when he's screamingly tired.<br><br>
We definitely do the colic dance from time to time around here. And he does seem to like the loud white noises although the vacuum scares him to death.<br><br>
It sounds like I need to push the reflux issue. And I think I need a new ped- I don't mind that she's non-interventionist on this issue, but she's not really AP friendly. I've kind of been waiting for the "preemie issues" to be over before I switch, so maybe this will be the last visit.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
my dd gets/got colicky but it's not every day that she is cranky. we found that the nutritional yeast we were adding to her milk was causing the reflux or maybe she had reflux but that was prob. causing her eosophagus to burn. she has been much better without it. touch wood. i have put her on a vibrating rocker once which made her stop crying, although i think she was still in pain. and one time, turned off all the lights and placed her on the rocker and turned on the tv. the moving images made her go off to sleep, although i don't really want her to be watching tv already. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
i was wondering about what you said: 'I've kind of been waiting for the "preemie issues" to be over'? mine is a 36 week preemie, so just wondering if you know when the issues will end, for e.g. she hasn't yet started smiling fully. she is 2 1/2 mths old.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
674 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I know how you feel. I always felt, if you looked up "high-needs" baby in the dictionary, you would find a picture of my DS.<br><br>
No real advice because you're propably trying everything out there anyway...and then your baby still screams. Ususally none of the things that were recommended to me worked. Tried a swing, a wrap, anything.<br><br>
He is getting a little better with reflux meds. Still very high-needs, but at least he is not constantly screaming anymore.<br><br>
Big hug to you, I know how mean it can be to see all those "easy-going" babies and there mums- with baby sleeping happily in his car-seat, while you fear every trip to the grocery store and the doctor's office, knowing it will be another screaming desaster.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
502 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ranna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7962353"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
i was wondering about what you said: 'I've kind of been waiting for the "preemie issues" to be over'? mine is a 36 week preemie, so just wondering if you know when the issues will end, for e.g. she hasn't yet started smiling fully. she is 2 1/2 mths old.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
By "preemie issues" I mean that he was on home O2, an apnea monitor, & caffeine for a while after coming home. Wanted to get rid of all that before switching drs. We JUST got the apnea monitor out of here after weeks of waiting for the home health ppl. to send off the data. I think reflux may also fall under the "preemie issue" umbrella, at least in my mind. (He had the test in the hospital when they were trying to narrow down his breathing issues and he DOES have reflux for sure.)<br><br>
Developmentally, he's right where you'd expect for adjusted age (i.e. he's 6 m.o. but does stuff like a 4 m.o.) and so I'm not so concerned about any of that. Just remember to keep making that mathematical adjustment in your head whenever you are worried about what she "should" be doing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,836 Posts
if your baby has reflux, please visit the infant reflux board. my baby screamed night and day for months and doctors were no help until i finally found this reflux board. it is FILLED with research materials, and so is marci-kids.com. ever since starting prevacid at 3.5 months old, i have had a different child. no more screaming, arching, sleep improved, etc. he can acutally eat comfortably now. i cannot stand doctors who let reflux babies go untreated. i absolutely fought my doctor....i called, faxed research, ALL THE TIME. i would like to ask those doctors if they would like to have constant heartburn every day and leave it untreated. pretty stupid idea. untreated reflux damages the esophogus and can lead to pre cancerous cells, feeding aversions, etc.<br>
here is the link to that site. the people there are very knowledgeable and have happy babies due to persistance, persistance, persistance! do not let your doctors tell you this is normal! please, it breaks my heart!<br><a href="http://http//www.infantreflux.org/forum/default.asp" target="_blank">http://www.infantreflux.org/forum/default.asp</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrs_mandolini</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963853"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">By "preemie issues" I mean that he was on home O2, an apnea monitor, & caffeine for a while after coming home. Wanted to get rid of all that before switching drs. We JUST got the apnea monitor out of here after weeks of waiting for the home health ppl. to send off the data. I think reflux may also fall under the "preemie issue" umbrella, at least in my mind. (He had the test in the hospital when they were trying to narrow down his breathing issues and he DOES have reflux for sure.)<br><br>
Developmentally, he's right where you'd expect for adjusted age (i.e. he's 6 m.o. but does stuff like a 4 m.o.) and so I'm not so concerned about any of that. Just remember to keep making that mathematical adjustment in your head whenever you are worried about what she "should" be doing.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
thanks.
 
1 - 20 of 24 Posts
Top