Quote:
| I was just wondering how "eatting" looks like at your home. |
Well, thanks for asking
Now I feel all special a post for me
Fortunately our daughter isn't too picky an eater and usually eats what we eat, but we do have an issue with wasting food at times. I don't really like it, but at the same time I figure the little food she wastes is miniscule in the scheme of things, and also (imo) if the choice is a bit of food wasted or a harmonious home and mealtime, I will always choose the former. (BTW, we live simply, both voluntarily and due to financial reasons, so wasting food isn't a luxury by any means -- but I still choose that over a battle or force or coercion).
How mealtimes look at our house are basically we eat when we want to eat, what we want to eat, and how much we want to eat. I am a sahm and my dh usually leaves later in the morning so we do have breakfast together -- but *together* can mean a lot of things. We sometimes eat in the kitchen while our daughter eats in her high chair. Sometimes we eat there and she plays, sometimes we eat in the common area and she is in her high chair, or not -- sometimes we eat on the floor picnic style, whatever. We have an open plan so the whole living area and kitchen are visible to one another.
We either eat the same thing or different things, whichever. Today for instance, my husband ate polenta porrige style with syrup and milk (blech lol) I had a smoothie and our daughter had yogurt, part of a banana, a sip of my smoothie and a bite of Daddy's porrige
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This is the same thing at lunch, which varies depending on who's hungry and when. Sometimes my husband is home for lunch (when he has later classes, he teaches guitar and bass), sometimes not. Either I will make something, or we all make whatever. I really like to cook so my husband usually eats what I make when I cook, and our daughter does too --- though sometimes he gets his own thing and either he or I get something for dd if she doesn't want what we are making. Right now there isn't a lot of "preparation" involved in dd's grazing -- she likes simple foods --- fruit, yogurt, tofu cubes, org cheese, veggie slices, grilled *cheeze* (vegan), things of that nature -- so I never feel as if I am "cooking" 5 times a day or anything.
Our daughter is pretty verbal for her age so she lets me know she is hungry by either signing, (she does the sign for *more* for food but I know what she means), or she opens the fridge and looks around (but sometimes she does that for fun
) or she says "huuuuuuuuuun" (hungry) so I ask, "are you hungry? What should we eat?"
At this age I usually offer some choices, all of which she likes and if I am not met with protest or she actually verbalizes or signs one of the foods, that is agreement in my book. If she says no to all of the choices, which is rare but does happen, I ask her to *show me* what she wants in the fridge. Okay, that almost always works except when she pointed to the thai hot sauce
--- 99.9% of the time though, the choices I offer are agreeable to her because they are all things she likes.
With the issue of your daughter wanting the *whole bag* etc... i wonder if it isn't just that she wants control over the food and where it is coming from --- In other words, it may look like she wants the whole bag of cheese or the whole thing of peas, but maybe she just wants to decide how much she does or doesn't eat by "serving herself" if you will. Do you think it may be agreeable to her if you tranfered the peas to another container, leaving an amount you are willing to waste in the bag, then just give her the bag? If she doesn't eat any, then you are only wasting a bit. Same with the bag of cheese, perhaps you could get a little container that could be just *her* cheese or whatever and if she expresses interest in cheese, simply hand it to her, no fuss, no reminder, no lecture or expectation -- just a simple "here is your cheese honey, let me know when you're finished okay?" and go on your merry way. I don't know if that would work, just throwing it out there.
I am assuming your daughter is nearly 4 (if I have done my math right
) --- so maybe simply telling her the truth in a non-punitive, informational manner would help -- even if it is an ongoing (and seemingly non-effective) conversation. Even if you began modeling for her in a more obvious way -- like when you are finished with something you could say something like "I think I'm going to save the rest for later" and puyt it in the fridge or whatever. That, with also explaining to her that she can have whatever she wants to eat but you'd appreciate it if she helped minimizing waste by putting the rest away until later, or never, or whenever.
Like I mentioned, we don't have too picky of an eater here, and I can only sympathize with you on that --and it must be unnerving when she doesn't eat --- is her health okay? I mean is she growing/gaining all right? Does she have any food sensitivities or allergies you may not be aware of? If you have already gotten to the bottom of those things and they all check out normal/okay ---- I would seriously suggest dropping food issues all together.
Our daughter eats whatever is in our home, whether that be vegan ice cream, or crackers, or celery, or chocolate baking chips or a sip of daddy's coffee in the morning (which she doesn't like by the way
) --- When she gets a bit older and can be more active in the food buying process we will definately consider her preferences and try to meet any food *need* with respect to our personal and ethical boundaries (we are strict vegetarians).
So far we haven't had any issues at all foodwise. We have just always followed her cues and provided information in the most objective way possible. We express our preferences too, but always try to present them as preferences (I don't care for ____ instead of , ___ is yucky or whatever).
We try not to evaluate how our daughter eats day to day (to ourselves, we never evaluate her eating to her -- but rather, make observations *you seem to like _____* for example) We look at her eating as a whole. Sure, some days she lives off of org. yogurt and bananas, which isn't too balanced, but then others she gets veggies and lots of plant-based proteins... other days she seems to hardly eat at all, but then the next day no one's plate is safe in this house
I often hear people saying things like "I am not a short oder cook!!" and the like.. and I completely agree. I don't cook every day, and when I do, I don't cook 10 meals
I find though, there are many *kid friendly* things that can be made with very little or no time or effort that can be farily healthy. Heck, they even make annie's mac n cheese which is organic with no partially hydrogenated oils etc... okay, it's not the healthiest thing on the planet but it's not the *un*healthiest thing either. There are veggie sticks/slices with dip, fruit, yogurt, hummus/crackers, leftovers, sanwhiches, smoothies, frozen yogurt or soy ice cream (which is all pretty low fat and not nearly as much sugar as regular), there are fruit leathers, ....you know the drill.
I think one of the big things is that people get into this mindset of we *have* to eat *breastfast* foods at breakfast, and X time, lunch foods at lunch at X time, and so on.... We just eat anything at any time -- we do have an *approximate* breakfast/lunch/dinner type situation on most days but it is not set in stone.
Both my daughter and husband are at healthy regular weights -- I am the only overweight one, but suprisingly (or not so), that happened long before eating in this manner. It (imo) is the result of the one more bites, the clean your plate, the you can't leave the table, the no dessert until you eat, the we sit down to every meal together, the here is a cookie when you're good, the no dessert when you're *bad* the bribing with food, shaming with food, going to beb hungry because you haven't eaten at ___ time.... (along with other emotional/physical abuse)
I will never make food an issue in our home, and we are all healthier for it, physically and emotionally (imo).
Hope that helps at all, let me know if you have any other questions.
