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What should I do?

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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Friends, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I'm hoping you all could share how you would navigate this situation:

Me: FT ND medical student
LO: 16-month-old baby/toddler

My school offers childcare in a small student-run setting. We brought LO there ages 3-7mos but after it suddenly shut down last summer (LO aged 7mos) (Director had a family emergency) for a quarter, we moved to another center.

Current center is a Montessori preschool caring for ages 6wks --> kg. It is well-respected and hard to get in to. We were lucky to get in when we did.

The problem is, LO doesn't seem to be thriving there. Sure, he has fun, his basic needs are met, he is kept warm, dry, fed (mostly), clean, and intellectually stimulated. No easy feat.

Yet, his growth rate plateaued significantly after we made the change. He went from 75-90% percentile for weight to 40-50%. He has been sick 95% of the time - having only a couple good days at a time then getting sick again. He started becoming clingy, irritable, whiny, and developed separation anxiety. On two or three occasions he came home with bite marks that they claim he gave himself. He also developed anemia and became obsessed with chewing dirt and woodchips in the playground (maybe normal, maybe pica). Granted, we were pescetarian for the majority of the time (and have since added meat and an iron supplement), but I have to wonder if the large care environment is too much for him?

I have the option to return to my on-campus care provider, but have to sacrifice a few hours per week of study time to do so, as well as my place in this hard sought-after program. It would mean moving from a well-established program with stable care providers and a robust curriculum to a smaller, less stable program with a revolving door of student providers and weaker curriculum (though they do their best!).

But.. the ratios would also change from 1:7 to 1:2 or 1:3, I would be closer to him and spend more time with him, and I'd be able to check in on him often to ensure he's eating well and taking his nutrients. His social and emotional well-being would be well-cared-for.

I know transitions are tough on kids, but it seems that remaining in this care center is also tough on this LO. I want to do what is best for him (while still covering my own needs) - - what's a worried mama to do?
 

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What you described is pretty alarming and I think if that was my baby I would go back to the other care center. Even if he is biting himself, that is certainly not a good sign. Your tone of "voice" even as you describe the other center is such that I think you know you can't leave him there. It sounds very difficult with trade offs, but that is my vote.
 

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Friends, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I'm hoping you all could share how you would navigate this situation:

Me: FT ND medical student
LO: 16-month-old baby/toddler

My school offers childcare in a small student-run setting. We brought LO there ages 3-7mos but after it suddenly shut down last summer (LO aged 7mos) (Director had a family emergency) for a quarter, we moved to another center.

Current center is a Montessori preschool caring for ages 6wks --> kg. It is well-respected and hard to get in to. We were lucky to get in when we did.

The problem is, LO doesn't seem to be thriving there. Sure, he has fun, his basic needs are met, he is kept warm, dry, fed (mostly), clean, and intellectually stimulated. No easy feat.

Yet, his growth rate plateaued significantly after we made the change. He went from 75-90% percentile for weight to 40-50%. He has been sick 95% of the time - having only a couple good days at a time then getting sick again. He started becoming clingy, irritable, whiny, and developed separation anxiety. On two or three occasions he came home with bite marks that they claim he gave himself. He also developed anemia and became obsessed with chewing dirt and woodchips in the playground (maybe normal, maybe pica). Granted, we were pescetarian for the majority of the time (and have since added meat and an iron supplement), but I have to wonder if the large care environment is too much for him?

I have the option to return to my on-campus care provider, but have to sacrifice a few hours per week of study time to do so, as well as my place in this hard sought-after program. It would mean moving from a well-established program with stable care providers and a robust curriculum to a smaller, less stable program with a revolving door of student providers and weaker curriculum (though they do their best!).

But.. the ratios would also change from 1:7 to 1:2 or 1:3, I would be closer to him and spend more time with him, and I'd be able to check in on him often to ensure he's eating well and taking his nutrients. His social and emotional well-being would be well-cared-for.

I know transitions are tough on kids, but it seems that remaining in this care center is also tough on this LO. I want to do what is best for him (while still covering my own needs) - - what's a worried mama to do?
1. Stop worrying. It will kill you.
2. A child's job is to have fun. Don't focus so much on curriculum. In the long run it doesn't really matter but when kids are this young parents tend to be hyperfocused and blow everything way out of proportion.
3. Care dot com is a great resource. You can slow down on organized child care centers and programs and find a good match there who can accommodate your needs.

Hope this helps.
 
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