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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Good morning all.

I have had to place my child in a daycare center due to my AP provider quit on me and then said she could take him back but instead of 220 a week (i provide all food, drinks, wipes and diapers for him daily) she would have to charge me 300, because she is tired. Anyway, I can not afford that and felt used. My child has always expressed interest when we drive past daycare centers. I am working until the 24th so I need one more full week. He started Kindercare last week and liked it on MOnday and Tuesday. Wednesday he did not want to go, Thursday he went, Friday he did not want to go.

I have observed these folks. In the two year old room they are supposed to comfort children when the parent leaves. I did not see that happening. On Wednesday the young teacher kept folding her cot sheets and one little guy was standing by a photo of his dad, tears streaming, and he was sobbing "daddy". ANother girl was also sobbing when her dad left her. The young teacher would occasionally call out to them but did not go comfort them. SHE HAD TO GET THOSE SHEETS FOLDED! They think I am wierd to nurse my child, who will be three next month, and have tried to get me to nurse in a different room or away from the children "the children shouldnt see this". On Friday there were two teachers when I was there and the young one was just floating around organizing and the older one was cutting out placemats. This was at 0800. The centers hours are from 615-615. THere is no organized activity until 900 when they have circle time. I find that a huge amount of time for children to entertain themselves. Certainly if there were some fun, adult directed, activity going on then it would make coming in and the parent leaving much easier.

What should I do? My child has told me all weekend how he does not want to go back to the center. I have one more week of work. I have no one to watch him. I took him to work with me one day and one day his father watched him (however, the roommate had his shackup girlfriend there, and there is alcohol sitting about all the time, smoking outside, and shroom statues lying around (dad is 46 friends are all 21 year old motorcycle guys and gals). I have no relatives and my friends are working. Everyone tells me "he'll adjust", however, I worry about his strong dislike for hte center. He is a very friendly, easy going child (due to our AP lifestyle I am sure). Will one week there, with him sobbing daily and not being comforted, be horrible? I think it will but I have no idea what to do.
 

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Will one week there, with him sobbing daily and not being comforted, be horrible? I think it will but I have no idea what to do.
I would think it would be horrible for both him and you. I would call a local Church or Montessori place and if they can recommend someone. Good luck !
 

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I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Since you have made such a strong foundation for your little boy, he may be able to tolerate a week at this center with no permanent harm done. But I can't imagine it would be good for either of you. Do you know anyone from work or church or socially who has kids in daycare? Maybe someone's trusted provider would be willing to stretch themselves to add another child for just one week. I agree that it sounds like your old caregiver is trying to take advantage of you, but is it worth considering paying her the *exorbitant* fee for just one week, so you can be at ease and know your child is in a safe, caring environment? Or is she too *tired* to provide that anymore, anyway. Is it possible for you to take him to work more during this last week? Or change hours so a working friend can look after him while you work in the evening? Or--if you have just a week left, can you stop working early due to this family emergency? I don't know if any of these ideas might be helpful to you, but I hope you figure out a solution that works for you and your son. It is very sad how good childcare is so difficult to find. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
THanks so much for the response.

Here are my thoughts:

1) I work for a school district, dept of special ed, it is absolutely critical that I work this week. I can not really work with my child there. He gets into everything and many times I must speak with county officials or parents at great length. I am also working on a couple of cases which have gone to office of civil rights and I am trying to make sure the appropriate services are provided. This idea is out...and thanks so much...but I tossed it over a million times.

2) I also can not give up this extra week of work since it is extra money and I am a single parent. I desperately need this money and wont get another paycheck until the end of september.

3) I can not take him back to the AP provider. This is not the first time she has betrayed me. I will not reward her by this. She knows how much I am struggling (low income apt, no child support, etc.). It would be reinforce to her that she can do this to people and get away with it. I am very disappointed in her and find this to be horrible ethics.

4) I will try contacting more colleagues and see what they say. I have talked to a few last week, but no help. I will ask a few more. I thought of the churches and called a couple ,however, they all said due to licensing the child must be potty trained. My child isnt. He goes potty sometimes but not on a consistant basis.

Thanks for all the ideas. If anyone knows someone in San Jose area...please let me know.
 

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I feel for you. My DS was kicked out of his daycare b.c the director thought that he should not nurse, not have an attachment item, and sleep better. She didn't like my opinions and she promptly kicked him out which left me with no daycare and a job. Just think, whatever happens this week, you will both make it through it. And then you have a while (or so it sounds, until Sept.?) to find a new place or person to watch over your DC. Some ideas for finding a new day care situation are if there is a college in the area, put an ad in the school newspaper or online for a babysitter. I don't know if this would be financially feasible for you. Babysitters charge such varying rates in different cities. Check with the public libraries to see if they have any resource magazines for parents that include schools/daycare providers. Is there a California Dept. of Children and Families. YOu should be able to do a search online. If so, they should have a resource directory, possibly online, for you to search for providers and check references, view inspection reports, find out if there have been complaints, etc. YOu may want to check with Head Start and Even Start programs if you are low-income. I have recently been in a few Head Start day cares (with my work) and they were immaculate with such wonderful wooden play areas, books galore, rugs and child sized couches for reading, home cooked (well, from scratch) foods, loving teachers. They were a lot nicer than any of the places I saw when i was looking for childcare for my DS. You can also do searches online for referral networks for chldcare. i know that when DS was kicked out of daycare recently, I searched high and low to figure out who I should complain to and through that search I found a few national places that could give me the phone # of a local organization who could then custom a daycare provider list for me based on zipcodes, age of child, full or part time, etc. Sorry i don't remember names. Good luck this week, whatever you do, and good luck finding someplace wonderful for the fall.
 
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