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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi - fairly new to MDC. I did a search for a similar thread, and they were all pretty old with no new posts. Anyone interested in starting a new one? I'd like to discuss raising kids Catholic, catholic schools, etc.., especially if your spouse/SO is not catholic Anyone?
 

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I was too chicken to start my own thread, but here I am a Catholic mamma to 4 little people, living in Ontario Canada and trying desperatly to find my place in the world.<br><br>
My DH is a convert to Catholissim, and I was raised Ultra Trad. (Think PPX Society but not, we attented Bysantine Rite Churches) It's a funky mix and has presented challenges.<br><br>
I am really interested in meeting other Catholic mom who are in it for more than just C&E (Christmas and Easter) or as DH say go to church only to be Hatched Matched or Dispatched LOL<br><br>
I am really really bad at starting relationships, but am very enthusiactic when I am approached. It seems that since I have spent most of my life answering questions, I have forgotten that freindships need not be a challenge and really I don't have to always be prepared to explain or justify myself.<br><br>
The reason I came here to MDC was to at least meet woman who embrace the same parenting views I hold (and I love it here) but now I see that I may even meet some on who not only share my love of mothering, but my love of the best Mother of them all!!!<br><br><br>
I'm looking forward to this thread growing~!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Very nice to meet you! I've been trying to teach some religion to my son, who will start kindergarten this fall at out church's school, and I usually draw a blank on how to explain things to him. Do your kids go to a parochial school? I went to public school as a kid, so I don't really know what to expect.
 

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Hi! DH and I are both cradle Catholics, but he is not practicing. My DD is in the 4th grade at a parochial school, and DH and I both went public, so I can tell you the biggest differences I've noticed.<br><br>
The main one is that she has some kind of religious instruction every day. It's not crammed down her throat, but it's part of life--a prayer to start the day, grace before lunch and snacks, Mass on Wednesdays, penance services during Lent and Advent. She likes it, and she knows more about Catholicism than I do. The only reason I know much about Catholicism at all is from my mom, who taught me a lot. DH and I both went to CCD (PSR, whatever they call it now) for 8 solid years and Mass every Sunday until we were 18, and neither of us learned a darn thing. DH honestly doesn't know what Catholics believe about half the time. I think if you send your kids public, and want them to understand their faith, you really have to make it a priority. One brief class a week doesn't cut it.<br><br>
I just taught DD a few basic prayers before she started school, I knew she was going to Catholic school so I didn't worry too much about catechism or anything like that.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lisoula</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Very nice to meet you! I've been trying to teach some religion to my son, who will start kindergarten this fall at out church's school, and I usually draw a blank on how to explain things to him. Do your kids go to a parochial school? I went to public school as a kid, so I don't really know what to expect.</div>
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It's nice to meet both of you. I am a catholic mom and hubby is not catholic. I grew up in catholic schools. I think it was pretty basic teachings in kindergarten about catholicism from what I can remember that was a long time ago. My son is only two but he has learned a few prayers. My main challenge right now is keeping his behavior under control in church. You gotta love 2 year olds<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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here is the link to Catholic thread on Spirituality.<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=417399" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=417399</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jude-a-buddies-mom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's nice to meet both of you. I am a catholic mom and hubby is not catholic. I grew up in catholic schools. I think it was pretty basic teachings in kindergarten about catholicism from what I can remember that was a long time ago. My son is only two but he has learned a few prayers. My main challenge right now is keeping his behavior under control in church. You gotta love 2 year olds<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"></div>
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Keeping my 4 year old good in church is impossible! (Mind you this is the same kid going to kindergarten in September!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> ) Maybe the teachers will have better luck than me.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lisoula</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Keeping my 4 year old good in church is impossible! (Mind you this is the same kid going to kindergarten in September!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> ) Maybe the teachers will have better luck than me.</div>
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At our school, the kids don't go to Mass until first grade, but that's partially because we only have half day kindy. So maybe your 4 yo will be okay! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Hey mama's,<br>
checking in as another Catholic mama and subscribing to this thread. It looks interesting. DH was raised Luthren, and although he did the RCIA process before we were married (his idea), he is still a Luthren at heart and really doesn't see the differences in the churches. Our daughter was baptised Catholic and has my parent's as Godparents. DH would like to have his parents as Goparents this time, so our current discussions are focusing on whether to have 3 Godparents (only 1 needs to be Catholic in the Catholic church, although non-confiremed Catholics are technically "witnesses") or to baptise DS in the Luthren church.<br><br>
DS is crying, need to run <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Hi all.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> I am a Catholic mama to three (soon to be four) boys. Dh converted when we were pregnant with our first. His RCIA class even had a baby shower for us.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> He would have converted prior to our being married, but the priest who married us advised him to wait. He wanted him to convert because he wanted to be Catholic, not because he wanted to go through the motions before we were married.<br><br>
I attended Catholic school K-6th grade and then had to dump into the public schools. I would have graduated from Catholic school if it had been an option.<br><br>
My 2nd grader and preschooler (kindergarten next year) are currently in parochial school. It's an awesome school that has everyone from preschool through highschoolers under one roof. It's not a small school either. The elementary is three students shy of 500 and that makes it the largest elementary school in town, and the high school (7-12) has around 400 students if I remember correctly. I am also almost through my first year of a three year stint (possibly longer) on the school board. This is interesting to say the least because most of the issues we deal with are in the high school and I'm pretty naive about the inner workings of the high school since my oldest is in 2nd grade.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> We live in a liberal college town (we are not of the liberal persuasion) and there is no way I want my kids in the public school system here. It's a great education system, but it is a very liberal education system, and I don't agree with much of the "added" education that they throw in.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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BTW, I just have to say that I think that is hysterical.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I find myself complaining every Christmas Eve because we have to be at church an hour early to get a seat for mass. They even have two extra masses (in addition to the regular 4) on Christmas. Who are all those people???<br><br>
We are doing our best to raise our children Catholic. I must admit that I'm feeling so guilty this Lent because I'm just not into it. I'm pregnant with #4 so I'm not fasting or abstaining (as I'm not required to when pregnant and need the protien), and I'm so tired that I'm napping in the afternoon rather than doing the daily readings from the Black Book. I'm just feeling overwhelmed at times. I'm part of a faith sharing group with other moms and I'm feeling like a fraud every monday morning.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It's just such a busy time (and only getting busier with soccer, first eucharist classes, and baseball -- and those darned school board meetings) that I'm finding it hard to stay on top of everything and still get enough rest. By the time the kids are in bed all I have the energy to do is to veg in front of the television. I don't even have the mental capacity for much more. Sorry to blab and get off topic -- confession is good for the soul, you know.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Curious question. What do you expect from your kids at what ages during mass? Ds1 will receive first communion next month and I totally think that 2nd grade is way too early. What do you expect from your kids as far as mass behavior? What do you think is reasonable, especially from very active boys.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jish</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Curious question. What do you expect from your kids at what ages during mass? Ds1 will receive first communion next month and I totally think that 2nd grade is way too early. What do you expect from your kids as far as mass behavior? What do you think is reasonable, especially from very active boys.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"></div>
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I expect what I think my kid can handle. DD is a fairly quiet person, and in the second grade I knew she could handle sit/stand/kneel quietly and following along without disruptions. So that's what I expected. If this one isn't like that, I'll try to understand his limitations. I also expected her to say any prayers or responses she was familiar with, and sing along if she knew the song well enough. At that point she didn't read fast enough to say or sing the prayers while reading them if she didn't already know them. At this point, I expect her to say all prayers/responses and sing along with the refrain of all songs. I do the same, so she's never had a problem with it. Same with kneeling--I can't kneel right now (I get faint) but as long as she isn't sick, I expect her to kneel up the entire time we are kneeling, no resting her butt on the seat. She understands that I have a pg exemption <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> , but that as soon as I'm healthy again I'll be kneeling with her.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jish</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Curious question. What do you expect from your kids at what ages during mass? Ds1 will receive first communion next month and I totally think that 2nd grade is way too early. What do you expect from your kids as far as mass behavior? What do you think is reasonable, especially from very active boys.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"></div>
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I agree that at in this day and age, grade 2 may be too young as far as total understanding of the sacrement, but on the same note, I also belive that the graces surrounding the reception of Communion, are very much needed. kwim?<br><br>
As far as behaviour, I don't expect much. No yapping, avoid squirming, only ONE bathroom trip..... I want the hildren to feel comfortable and at home in church, so I try not to make it a scary situation as far as minding your behaviour. The children look around and ask quiet questions, sing or not, respond or not as the "spirit" moves them LOL Our bar for "out in public" behaviour is pretty high, so I don't have much trouble with them. (BTW, I have never been one to bring little little ones to church. usually from about age 1 till late 2 they stay home.
 

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Hi Catholic Mamas! I too am in the boat! DD is 8mo old and #2 is due in Oct... Jish, I feel for you. I know how exhausted I am with one little one and another on the way. I haven't managed a rosary in far too long (I fall asleep!) and I feel like Lent is happening without me.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Dh and I attend a Traditional SSPX church. Interestingly, no one leaves their little onles at home. They either participate in Mass, but with mom in the cry room, or they join their sibs in the pews. We tend to have a lot of families with one parent in the cry room with a baby or two and the other parent handling the older children in the pews. It seems to work well.<br><br>
BTW, I am a convert (From Judaism) and dh is a cradle Catholic. He and I were drawn to the traditional Mass the more we studied and attended...<br><br>
Thanks for starting this group!
 

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Hi everyone! What timing on this thread - I'd been wondering who to talk about something and here you are !<br><br>
We're a catholic family too, DD is 20 months old. We go to the Newman mass at a local college, service is in a hall inside a dorm building. I’m IT for music so if I'm out for some reason they get no music (you don't want to hear Fr. Al singing!). We like it because they are so unconventional and because its so small so it feels like a family. We've been coming together here for over 14 yrs, and DH even longer since he came here for college. The priest here married us and baptized our daughter. So we feel pretty strong ties to this group.<br><br>
My dilemma is due to DD… We've been bringing her to mass since she was a newborn. Back then it was easy, she wasn't much of a distraction. But as she's gotten bigger and learned to walk/ run/ talk, it is becoming an issue to bring her to mass. DH watches her, but we let her run around the room, interact with the congregation, etc. She also likes to come and visit me (I sit in front of the room since I'm leading everyone in song). We've tried bringing quiet toys for her, but she'd rather run all over than stay put.<br><br>
We've heard some side comments about how some people (particularly the older folks) find her movement and her noice disruptive. Just yesterday someone gently suggested I park my guitar somewhere other than in the front (next to the priest), so that when she comes to visit me and chatters, its not so distracting. On the one hand I understand some people's hearing isn't as good as it used to be and it can be hard to hear the priest over my DD's chatter. On the other hand, while I was pregnant everyone was assuring me how flexible this congregation is, that they’re used to kids running around because they used to bring their kids to mass too, how everyone helps to watch the kids, etc. So far none of this is hapenning - no one gives DH a hand in watching her, unless she happens to climb on someone's lap. My brother ended up coming to a few services to help watch her so DH had a bit of a break. I have caught some folks looking at Sofia with disapproving "the parents should countrol her" type of look, which annoyed me to no end.<br><br>
I'm seriously considering switching to a local church… makes me sad to leave this group, I'll miss playing guitar for the service but I'm thinking it may be for the best for my family. Plus eventually I guess I'll have to think of Sunday school...<br><br>
SO - after this long intro - I was curious about how YOUR churches handle small children. What should I expect? I've seen separate rooms setup for the kiddies but I have no idea how is it to go to mass in these rooms - is it worth even doing? I'd rather attend as a family not as mom/baby seated separate from dad.<br><br>
Or are we being unreasonable with our current church?<br><br>
Comments?<br>
-Ana
 

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Bertana, we don't have a crying room, and most people at our small church have young children, so no one has a problem with kids crying, fussing or occasionally talking (the best is when a young child interjects during a quiet moment...very cute <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> ). No one ever lets their kids run around though, I do think that would be *very* distracting. But our church is more traditional, so that's what I would expect here. It's kind of sad that at your church they all told you they'd be more accepting of toddler behavior and it isn't the case! From my church, I've seen what happens when you expect kids to behave. They do it. It's not very GD I guess, but even though I don't know anyone at my church who spanks or is mean to their kids, we all expect a certain standard of behavior during Mass. If someone's kids are being super loud or tantruming, they take them into the foyer until they are calm. I've never seen a kid get punished (or heard a threat of punishment), it always seems to be "okay, we'll go back in when you can be calm and quiet".<br><br>
Good luck...I really hope you'll be able to stay at the church that feels like home to you!
 

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Hi all.<br><br>
This thread is VERY timely. I went to mass Saturday morning and the priest actually told me to come sit IN the sanctuary rather than in the cry room. I despise the cry room but was too chicken to sit in the sanctuary, the priest said, "Motherly courage!"<br><br>
Anyways, I'm a cradle catholic. DH is presby. He now prefers the Church to his church. Kind of cool.<br><br>
I went shopping today! Got a new miraculous medal, baby had nearly ripped mine off my necklace so I got one for my car keys. Got the weekday missals. Got a children's book on the rosary - so DH will understand it and be able to teach DD with me as she gets older. Got a cross for my home - have been longing for one and finally got the courage up to buy one, I feared that Dh's family would frown.<br><br>
Boss just dropped work on my desk. will post later.
 

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Rebeccalizzie, thanks for the response - got a question though... when you're talking about getting kids to behave in church, are you including the wee ones too? My daughter would make quite the racket if we didn't let her wander around. I like the idea of her learning to stay quiet but I don't know if she's capable of understanding this yet. At 20 months, I think she understands when she is doing something she's not supposed to, but goes on and does it anyway (I think I read somewhere they can't help themselves at this age ??)
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Got a cross for my home - have been longing for one and finally got the courage up to buy one, I feared that Dh's family would frown.</div>
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How do you think your DH will react to the cross?<br><br>
I've been wanting one forEver but DH says they spook him. (!!) especially if they are more than just a plain cross (ie Jesus figure attached). I was able to sneak one in my DD's room only because its got a guardian angel painted on it so it looks cute.<br><br>
DH is theoretically catholic but he was brought up by a widower dad who didn't care about religion so he barely knows anything about catholicism other than what he picks up from church. And I on the other hand went to Catholic school so I got the works, LOL!<br><br>
How old is your baby, dachshundqueen?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bertana</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Rebeccalizzie, thanks for the response - got a question though... when you're talking about getting kids to behave in church, are you including the wee ones too? My daughter would make quite the racket if we didn't let her wander around. I like the idea of her learning to stay quiet but I don't know if she's capable of understanding this yet. At 20 months, I think she understands when she is doing something she's not supposed to, but goes on and does it anyway (I think I read somewhere they can't help themselves at this age ??)</div>
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Yes, but I do realize every kid is different. I have a feeling I probably haven't noticed how often certain parents are walking back to the foyer with the same kids week after week <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> When a kid starts to tantrum, I usually see the parent hushing them or trying to distract them, and then the next step is to carry them out until they are calmer, and then they come back. The thing is, your DD has always been allowed to wander around, the kids at my church have never been allowed. It's normal for them, so I think they do "get it" on a certain level. I can't imagine a 20 month old understanding why the rules have been changed on her, and I can see her making a racket! Also, since we have pews and not chairs, sometimes families will stake out half a pew and the child can crawl around in that pew, so at least they don't have to sit still for an hour.<br><br>
I totally don't know what is developmentally appropriate for a 20 month old...I'm kind of reporting what I see, but I don't know how the parents really handle strong willed kids. DD was just always a quiet kid, as long as I was snuggling her she was fine. Since siblings are quite often opposite in temprament...ask me how I'm doing in two years when this babe is your DD's age and I might have a different answer! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> So you may have to take my answer with a large grain of salt!
 

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Hello, Mamas! I'll try to make my intro quick. I am actually not a Catholic mom, but I am raising my kid(s) Catholic. I am Presbyterian and my husband is a very devout Catholic. We agreed to raise the kids Catholic and I am on-board with that. I thought this might be a good thread for me to learn a few things! Originally, I had pictured dh taking the kid(s) to church and me continuing to go to my church (where I sing in the choir). It turns out that at this point, we much prefer all being together. So, we go to the Presby church every other Sunday (and a Saturday evening mass) and the Catholic church on alternate Sundays. It is working well.<br><br>
There is no way ds (age 1 1/2) could sit still for more than a minute, so we always go to the cry room. It is nice to have others around who understand what we're going through! We always take quiet toys and snacks, but sometimes I still have to take him outside when he has had enough of the little room!<br><br>
As for school, dh was Catholic schooled from K through college and wants his kids to go to Catholic schools. That's okay with me. My only concern is the $$ at this point, but I wouldn't want to send ds to our neighborhood schools, so we'd have to move if we didn't do Catholic schools. We're considering K at public school to meet neighborhood kids, and then switching... but we'll see.<br><br>
Nice to meet you all. I'll check in here from time to time and see what's going on! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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