Mothering Forum banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
OK, I could kiss Ina May for this one - this is some really good information she put in her "Guide to Childbirth" (I'm past the birth stories):<br><br>
"Some women, it seems, can just suck their babies back in if they really don't like the way things are going." Then she references from early last century of cases where women were almost fully dialated, closed back up and didn't resume labor for over 2 weeks!<br><br>
Now when this happened to me I had more than one doctor, midwife and nurse tell me it was impossible that I had been fully dialated and then halted my labor. Apparently they were wrong <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: And I am a powerful awesome woman - now if I can just figure out how to harness that power for good, I'll be set! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,989 Posts
Luke....come to the dark side......<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I have heard many stories of women who have had cervical arrest or even have gone backwards when things got stressful outside of them and Laborland. I have no idea if that happened to me this past time since I obviously did not have my cervix checked, but I would bet so. I *definitely went through transition twice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
You know I've been trying to think why I might have halted my labors. With my first, I was definately disappointed in the way things were going, disappointed in the way my family was treating us, and just doing some mourning for the loss of a dream in labor. So it's easy to see how I might have caused my cervix to reverse if I just wasn't willing to have the experience I was having.<br><br>
Second time when I actually completely halted things at completely dialated, closed back up and ceased contracting until I was induced, it was hard to think why. But I know I was very resistant to the idea of another long labor, then I was upset that I was having to "do things" to avoid a long labor - possibly I just wasn't willing to accept what had happened.<br><br>
Seems perhaps, my will is so strong I will just plain reject a labor experience that isn't in line with what I have planned. Maybe I better work on being more open minded?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
I can't for the life of me remember who it was right now, but thee is a birth story here at MDC where this happened to a woman too. I guess her mother showed up during transition or something, called the ambulance and tried to force her into going to a hospital. The mama ended up halting her labor, climbing into their van and driving to a midwifes house to have the baby instead. She had to go through transition twice as well, that must have sucked!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
624 Posts
When my husband read this in another book he thoughtfully commented: "Just imagine how many mothers stopped their own labors because they got to rushing around trying to pack bags and call the parents and call the babysitter and call the hospital and etc., etc., etc.....with all that adrenaline surging through their bodies!"<br><br>
Then he added, "Wow, without all that commotion, you may well pop that baby out in minutes!"<br><br>
Let's all hope he's right! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,163 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>2bluefish</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7979503"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Now when this happened to me I had more than one doctor, midwife and nurse tell me it was impossible that I had been fully dialated and then halted my labor.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yeah, they know so much with their big fancy educations, don't they. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">And I am a powerful awesome woman</td>
</tr></table></div>
You most definitely are! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,986 Posts
Mama, you know I think there's something to be said for the beauty & peace of laboring without an attendant. I know your attendant was a friend, but she was still a midwife & I'm sure everyone was aware that she was bringing her professional skills into the picture.<br><br>
Laboring without an attendant was so different for me. So utterly private. So without distractions. Well, unless I wanted them. (my other children <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) I really think it makes a wonderful difference to be in complete control of every facet of your labor & environment. It's like a cave that no one violates.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I was looking at my journal from last time and month 4 is when I address my fears - here I go again! I'm really wondering if I'm not a solo birther. I remember last time I awoke to such sensual fabulous birthing waves. I knew I was having my baby that day - it was so awesome. And then I told dh, and the "event" began. The hyperactivity, the questions, the phone calls, and in the midst I'm trying to stay calm and not get excited - when he finally left the house to go to work, everythig just petered out. Then I tried to get it back, and it wouldn't come back. I'm just a subtle person, and the melodrama with which our culture approaches birth just shuts me down. It's like I'm a twinkling star that gets lost in the city lights. I really think I'm just going to have to enjoy the story on my own until the climax builds to the point it claims the attention of my dh. Trying to share the subplots just doesn't work for us. He's all about the big moment - <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> - actually sex is that way too. I don't show too much enthusiasm until I'm ready, otherwise I won't get a chance to be ready <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Never really thought about how we communicate - it works for us, that's all that matters. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
624 Posts
Hey 2BF! Your story made me laugh! I am SO hoping that I can hide the fact I am in labor up until transistion!<br><br>
Of course, with my first one my water made an audible *SNAP* and then *GUSH* so it was sorta hard to hide! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Maybe I'll get lucky and no one will be home!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm weird - labor is easy for me up until transition. Transition is the only identifiable factor that I will have the baby soon. At the hospital last time on pit I would close my eyes with a contraction mostly just to get them to leave me alone. Everyone just wanted to stand around and chat with me. I'm thinking *I know I don't look like I'm in labor, but I am, and I would like some peace and quiet!* I've been thinking about what would be ideal for me, since with hypnobabies you are supposed to visualize what you want in detail. I like to labor with dh near (as in the house), but I don't need anything from him - just his presence. I like to labor quietly without alot of busy-ness (busy-ness just seems to make my labor stop and wait). So I think what would be ideal is if I could labor at night while the kids and dh sleep, and birth the baby at dawn. Sounds perfect!<br><br>
I was reading more Ina May, and I realized why having a midwife/doula doesn't work for me. She talks alot about saying things like "you are doing great. You won't tear in half. I've never had a mother explode." She says this soothes women who are fearful. This stuff doesn't work for me. I guess I'm too much of an academic. Tell me I'm ok when I *know* I'm not ok, and all that makes me think is the midwife is sadly incorrect. I remember with my first the midwife asked me if I trusted her. I said "yes", but I thought "yes, I trust you, but I'm afraid you don't understand what is going on here!" I really just find things people say to me in labor irritating. Maybe that's cause I'm an introvert - I can think of a few things said to me during both labors that I found encouraging but by fair I'm mostly just annoyed by talking.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
624 Posts
"<b>I realized why having a midwife/doula doesn't work for me. She talks alot about saying things like "you are doing great. You won't tear in half. I've never had a mother explode." She says this soothes women who are fearful. This stuff doesn't work for me. I guess I'm too much of an academic.</b> "<br><br>
Wow- that sounds like me. I met with a midwife one time, and spent two weeks afterwards fretting over the whole scenario. I am the sort of person who doesn't like to be watched when I am cooking, or trying to open something, or folding a map, etc. etc. because I don't like feeling like someone is/could be/will be gauging my success or critiquing my method.<br><br>
Same with labor ..... don't stand around and tell me I am not going to rip open. Sheesh, I know that. And pointing out the obvious is ONLY going to annoy me!<br><br>
ESPECIALLY DON'T SIT AROUND STARING AT ME (WHILE I DO ALL THE WORK) AND OCCASIONALLY INTERJECT (in a patronizing tone) <i>"You're doing great!"</i> BECAUSE I WILL HIT YOU! <span style="color:#000080;">Then, my cervix is going to snap shut and I'm gonna be pissed!</span><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I totally believe in the open-shut-open-shut abilities of the cervix! That's why it surprises me that Ina May's methods are so literally hands-on. I don't ever again want anyone there rubbing on me while I am trying to concentrate. I get the sense they are haplessly compelled to be there and stare, like I am a bad car wreck. Hmm, out of respect, they know they SHOULDN'T stare, but dadburnit! they just can't help themselves!<br><br>
Sorry, that ended up being a rant!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,441 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But that's what's funny about the book - she's so aware of how the sphincters work, yet thinks of these things she does as help and what women *need*. It leads me to think that there *are* women who are perhaps - less self confident - who benefit from these simple assurances. To me it just seems like a distraction. Perhaps that's where the mistake lies - the assumption that all women share the same needs in labor and benefit from the type of support she promotes.<br><br>
Another thing that was interesting is that not only *fear* closes a sphincter, but *anger*. That really triggered something for me. Because I realized I am easily angered in labor. Anyone suggesting anything to me other than *do exactly what makes you comfortable,* and I find myself getting angry.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: The women in the birth stories are like "I didn't want to squat, but Ina May said it would work, so I trusted her." I'm not like that - I'm like "squatting flipping hurts, and I don't want to do it, so leave me the heck alone!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,738 Posts
I belong to this group! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
When I decided to go in I was about to push. When I got there I was an 8. They told me there was no way I was so close to pushing when I was at home. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top