Cesarean Birth Support Thread April & May 2006

I want to have roll call womyn so please come on in and give us a brief intro, your births, and where you are at now.

I am Kim, mother to four. All of my children have been born by cesarean, even the child we adopted, for medical reasons.

I have a mullerian anomaly due to DES exposure, and I found out last August that I also have a deformed cervix as well. ::chuckle:::

I have had three cesarean births. The first was an emergency after a failed ECV for breech presentation (transverse). I felt the entire thing which was not cool at all.

My second two cesareans were for my 3rd and 4th child. They were both planned and done on schedule. They were practically pain free and I have had excellent recoveries from both. I had a great doctor who did everything in her power to work with my birthplan.

Currently we are done. But I wouldn't be that surprised if another pregnancy occurred. (my husband backed out of a vasectomy that was planned for the 7th)

Kim

I'm Cat. Momma to my 2yo ds, Emerson. I'm expecting dd#1 sometime between now and May 8th. She will be born by planned csec, either when I go into labor (more likely) or on 5/8, if she hasn't shown up by then.

I had a csec with ds after pushing for 6+ hours. He wasn't malpositioned, and I had freedom of movement. He was stuck at +1. His poor little head was wedged into my pelvis, and he came out with a huge sack of fluid and swelling on his crown. His head was 14.5" at birth.

Oddly enough, I got stuck coming out a little lower down, and was pulled out with forceps. Dh got stuck about where ds did, and his mom had a csec back in the 70s, when they were much less common. I think we just grow kids with HUGE heads.

DD is actually measuring even bigger than ds, so I'm glad that we've made the decision for a repeat csec. I recovered fairly well from my csec, but I think the traumatic 46 hour active labor really took it's toll on me. I can't imagine going through that again, just to have another surgery, and having to take care of a toddler in addition to a newborn. ACK!

The doctors in the practice we're going to seem very supportive of our birthplan and helping us to make it very much a birth. I'm nervous as all get out. Between facing surgery, a hospital stay, and a new little life, who wouldn't be? But, I'm really getting excited too!

I'm Andi, mom to a 3-year-old and a newborn, both born by c-section. I pushed 8 hours with #1 and she wouldn't go past my pelvic opening--she was asynclitic, but after #2 failed to go past my bones as well and was as straight as an arrow, I realized there was more to it than simple malpresentation. After a nine-hour home labor, 3 hours of which were spent pushing in every conceivable position, my midwife said that my pelvic joints won't flex/stretch. Neither of my kids was large or had big heads (although my son's head didn't mold much, and my daughter's not at all, which probably didn't help). But it seems my pelvis just won't let babies come through, at least not in a reasonable amount of time. There is no apparent cause for this problem, so there is no way to remedy it for future births. I'm still working on coming to terms with this fact and dealing with the resultant emotional upheaval. And we're not planning to have anymore, for various reasons...not the least of which is, I don't want another surgery. (My husband's reason is that he doesn't want more chaos in his life! )

Glad to know other moms have "survived" multiple c-secs with no vaginal births and can reach a point of equilibrium with the situation. I'm still working on that...I'll get there someday!

I'm Beth, and I've had 2 C-sections and planning a third in the fall.

My first DD was born by C-section after I had PROM at 37 weeks. The OB did a Pitocin induction which failed and I had a Csection at 24 hours after ROM for FTP. After the delivery, the OB commented that DD's head was cock-eyed, so I think she was asynclitic.

My next DD was a planned VBAC, turned emergency C-section. During the pushing stage of labor, her heartrate plummeted into the 60s and I was rushed to the OR. I had a uterine rupture and placental abruption. DD was born severely oxygen compromised and we took her off the ventilator and she died at 9 days old.

We are pregnant again, and due in November. This time we are planning a C-section, probably at 36 or 37 weeks. They want to do the C section well and truly before labor begins in order to minimize my risk of re-rupture.

There is a very small part of me that mourns the fact that I will never have a vaginal birth, but at this point in my journey, and I know so many people hate this phrase, for ME all that does matter is a healthy baby.

Hi to all the Cesarean Goddesses!

Kim- I want to thank you for being THE cesarean goddess here on MDC and rallying the troops so to speak. You make it so much easier to find support and info from other crunchy moms!

Andi- I was so sorry to hear about your planned HBAC turned csec. Hopefully, time will bring your heart the peace it deserves.

Beth- My heart aches for you! I sincerely hope that this pregnancy and birth will be completely uneventful, and you get your healthy baby into your arms.

I have a question for you ladies. Ds was on the large side (8lbs, and 14.5" head at 37 weeks, when he was born). Dd was measuring a few weeks ahead at 31 weeks (I know u/s can be off by about 10% or so). She was measuring about 2 weeks ahead all over, and her head measurement was over 3 weeks ahead. At the time, my fundus was only measuring about 2 weeks ahead. Well, 3 weeks later at my 34 week checkup, my fundus was measuring 5 weeks ahead. I'm scheduled for another u/s tomorrow at my 35 week appt. Do you think my risk of rupture increases the larger she gets and the more my uterus grows? I'm concerned that since I'm measuring so far ahead (at the rate I'm growing, I expect I'll be measuring about 41 weeks tomorrow), that it's putting undue strain on things. We had planned on not doing my csec until 39 weeks, unless I go into active labor before then. But, I've been wondering, if I should get an amnio done around 36 weeks to check for lung development and have her then if she's ready. I'm not really sure why the OBs want another u/s done anyway. They say it's because they want to see how big she is, but they know I'm planning another csec. So, part of me wonders if this is what they're thinking as well. Am I going or is this a valid concern?

Hi everyone,

First, I want to thank Kim for starting up this thread. It really means a lot to me. I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with where my baby's impending birth is headed and I desperately want to make peace with it before October.

My name is Amanda and my wonderful hubby is Mark. I'm 29 and the mother to two amazing little miracles. I was told early on that getting pregnant would be a challenge for me, so we were thrilled to welcome our firstborn son, Aerik, 9 years ago. I was induced due to sudden onset pre-eclampsia at 39 weeks and went through 48 hours of on again/off again labour before delivering him in the OR. I pushed for over two hours with no progress and was prepped for a cesarean. He was born vaginally after his body was turned using suction. He came out weighing 10lbs 6oz and had an apgar of 6. He's absolutely perfect now (minus a genetic form of hearing loss, which both of our boys have and is corrected with hearing aids).

With our second son, Declan, we did things differently. I picked the perfect hospital (I was borderline high risk for a midwife in Quebec, so we made the best hospital choice we could), a great doctor and had a doula. I was informed and made good choices. I went into labour naturally and spent the next 27 hours trying to get beyond 5cm. It never happened, even after we tried to augment the labour with pitocin (which is NOT my friend, I've realized after using it twice). When I finally had the cesarean they found that Declan's cord was wrapped around his body, preventing him from decending further. Our little guy weighed in at 10lbs 4oz - I'm built to have big babies!

When I found out we were (unexpectedly) expecting this time around, I wanted nothing more than to VBAC. Unfortunately, I found out two weeks ago that the lump next to my incision is a hernia and that VBACing could be very damaging to me. In fact, the pregnancy will probably take its toll on the hernia as it is, which is a little scary. It seems that the only option I'm left with is a planned cesarean. In some ways I'm relieved not to be going through a probable long labour again. In other ways I'm not looking forward to another surgery. Hopefully they can also repair the hernia when they're in there, although I don't know if that's possible.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I had a big cry last night about the whole thing and I'm trying to process it all. I'm a huge fan of natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, AP... And I know that I bonded very well with both my boys regardless of their births, but it's still hard, you know? I hear all these wonderful stories of women birting in their homes and crawling into bed with their newborns for a nice rest. Instead I'll be stitched and stapled and sore. I feel like I'm missing out on something I can't control. I really need to make this more positive for both my baby and myself. It is his/her birth, after all. It's supposed to be joyous, right?

Hi everyone

I'm Alice mama to Gracie and Ian, both born by cesarean section. Gracie was a planned homebirth, but my membranes ruptured, I never had any contractions, and 30 hours later my midwife said we needed to transfer. I labored on pit for a few hours, was subjected to internal fetal monitoring, and then was sectioned because Gracie started to show distress. Turns out I had undiagnosed GD, Gracie was born at 38 weeks on the nose and was 10pounds, 12 ounces. She was very ill and spent 6 days in the NICU. It took a long time for me to come to terms with her birth, my midwives failure to notice my GD, and the fact that I was a "failure" at birth. Ian's birth was a hugely healing situation for me. I had planned a VBAC, but I knew in my heart it wasn't going to happen. I don't know why, but I just knew. I went into labor 2 days after his due date, labored for 22 hours naturally, which was really what I wanted since I never had any natural labor the first go round. After being at 6 cm for 6 hours, my labor tapering off and again having my membranes ruptured for nearly 24 hours, I decided to have the repeat section. It was an awesome experience, having the same care-giver I had during my pregnancy instead of some awful on-call doctor made such a huge difference. I held him immediately, I nursed him in recovery, and he slept with me our entire hospital stay. I had GD again, but it was controlled and he was healthy!!!

I am glad to find this group. I am definiately one who has had to come around to view cesarean section as birth. I was a natural birth nazi before Gracie came. I had a horrible time getting over my "failure" and realizing that I did what had to be done and it was not the "wrong way" to have a baby. If I ever become pregnant again I will have a cesarean section by choice. I know it can be a positive experience, and I truly think for some reason it is just the way my body gives birth.

Can't wait to meet more of you!!

I am due May 19th with my 2nd child a girl. She measured 2 weeks ahead and weighed aproximatly 5lbs 6oz. I had my first after cytotec, pitocin, 17 1/2 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing, and emergancy c-section. He weighed 10lbs 19 1/2 inches. I was so terrified because I never researched anything about c-sections and did not know what would happen. I have always been so upset about the birth because I feel like I missed so much because I couldn't wake up. My greatest fears of my so fastly approaching birth is the possibility of another c-section are. Missing so much of the beginning of my baby's life, leaving my 3 year old for so long, and once I am home trying to recover from a c-sec with a 3 year old and baby. My doctor is trying to give me every chance to do a vbac but I don't think she is so confident that it will happen. I don't know if I want to try and labor and vbac or just opt for a planned c-sec. I am scared both ways I want the best for my baby and myself. I want a fast recovery. I just don't know what to do.

Hello, mamas!

My name is Bryn, first-time mama to little Ilze, born 3/9 (can't believe she is almost 4 weeks old!). I was planning a homebirth, had a fairly uneventful pregnancy (despite almost constant nausea/vomiting) until around 31 weeks, and was referred to a perinatologist because of slow growth. Turned out baby was also breech, and slightly low on fluid. DH and I did everything we could to try to get her to turn around (pelvic tilts, moxibustion, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustment, deep water submersion, headstands in the pool, music, light, etc.; you name it, we tried it), to no avail. To deal with the slow growth/low fluid, I stopped working, started drinking 1.5-2 gallons of water a day, and ate extremely high protein foods (over 120g per day). Unfortunately her fluid levels continued to drop, and at 37 weeks (with an AFI of 3) the decision was made to do a cesarean.

I have no regrets over the decision to have the surgery; I know it was what was necessary to keep her healthy and safe. As far as surgery goes, I seem to have had a wonderful one; my recovery has been amazing, she had no problems despite being 3 weeks early, and I had wonderfully supportive care at the hospital.

However . . .

I have been planning on becoming a midwife since I was 9 years old. I trained as a doula when I was 17, went to massage school SPECIFICALLY so that I could do pregnancy massage, have trained as a childbirth educator, etc. I am a real birth junky (hence the User Name). And while I have always said that I am grateful that we have the medical care we do for women who need it, and while I was obviously one of the women who needed it this time around . . . I am having a really tough time with the grieving process over losing the homebirth I had planned, and more than that, the experience of labor. I never felt one contraction with DD, and although some of my friends think I am crazy to hear me say it, I was really looking FORWARD to labor, and going through the experience.

I am dealing with the grief one day at a time, thankful for my beautiful daughter and my smooth & easy recovery, hopeful for a VBAC next time, and very grateful to have found this thread.

Thanks for listening.

Bryn,

I know what you are feeling, it is really, really hard to let go of what you had in your mind as the ideal birth. I struggled with it so much, the biggest help was actually having my second baby and trying to have a much more open mind about the relm of possibility, and how to make a c-section a positive experience should it happen again. My second birth was great because I did get to experience natural labor which was my big goal. I am still mourning the loss of my VBAC, I really wanted to know what it is like to push a baby out. However, I am so thankful to have my healthy baby boy, and as any mother knows, I was willing to do whatever it took to help him be safe, even when it ment putting my desires aside. The healing takes time and acceptance. There are lots of us that have been there, we can all lean on eachother.

This is a great thread. I am tearing up just reading everyones story. I know the feelings very well. My first was a c/s after a few days in the birth center, transfer to hospital, pushing for 2 1/2 hrs, rushed in for c/s, I think mostly I was too tired from being up for days with back labor (midwife never checked position), but when they pulled her out, they siad she was under my pelvic bone and had a telltale bruise across her fore head, so I probably couldn't have pushed her out.
2nd c/s, never really got a chance, labored (very early labor, I take a LONG time to kick in) 24hrs in hospital, and then just wheeled into the OR. Even though this one was very calm compared to the first I was way more affected emtionally and am now terrified of another surgery. I am due with #3 already in a few weeks which was a planned VBA2C all the way, until this week. I was in the hospital for three days with bleeding from the placenta. Its not a previa, but its really close and they think I am dialating and it is making the placenta bleed. This isn't the only issue, my baby has a very serious heart defect (AVSD) and a single umbilical artery, which they say is a good sign of Downs (although downs isn't a medical concern) any ways I have already been struggling with not being able to hold her right away, and I am having a really hard time accepting another c/s. I am really upset because my body has never done ANYTHING! Before labor starts. And I was a week late with both. This time I have been getting lots of BH's and am dialating and it seems like this is my chance, but it is being ripped from under me because the placenta is not in a good position. I don't want to do anything to cause more problems for dd, but I am so depressed about all of this.

MAryLang: I am so sorry for your pain. Sometimes we have to deal with repeat c-secs and it can be so hard. I am praying for you and your babe and am glad you will soon be able to hald you precious gift.

I have had 2 c-secs. The first was a planned homebirth. SHe was posterior and we labored at home for 24+ hrs I pushed for 6 at home and she just wouldn't budge. I was showing signs of dehydration and we transported. WHen I got to the hospital they wanted me to get an epidural so I could relax and let the swelling go down. My midwife was trying to turn the baby the whole time so I was soooo swollen. My white blood cell count was too highfor the epidural. (It was right on the border, even though the count goes up when you labor anyway, duh!) So we had a c-sec. By that point I didn't even care. I had to have a general so I was not even "there" for the birth. On my way to the OR they tied my arms and legs down, I was screaming for them to wait b/c I was having a CX. They paid no attention and my legs were bouncing right off the table. I said," I'm not doing this again."

Preg # 2 I was planning HBAC with same midwife. I had some abdominal pain and had an US at 11 weeks. TWINS!!!! My midwife is 3 hours away and wanted me to have the birth near her and her backup, which meant birthing at someone elses house and leaving my DD and DH. Her backup wasn't covered on my insurance. I searched and searched for someone who wouldn't laugh at me when i told them I wanted to VBAC twins. I found a great doc and a great hosp. He would even deliver the boys vag if the second was breech. They came 6 weeks early and both were breech

I had another c-sec. the boys needed to be stablized so I didn't even get to see them til the following day. During the surgery he told me my uterus had a thin spot maybe where the boys werelaying sgsinst my pelvic bones. He said I could try to VBAC again but it would have more risks. I want my HB!!! I don't know if I have that trust anymore.

Anyway, I have gotten beyond my births and just got down to the business of raising my babes.

Thanks for this thread. It helps to get it off my chest.

namaste

Hi, I'm Mary. Thank you for this thread. I didn't know I needed to talk more about this, until reading the other posts. When I was pg with Elise, I knew very early she was breech. We tried all the tricks, including version twice- ouch! My doc would have delivered breech vaginally, but she had one leg up and one leg down. There was no way. So we scheduled a cesarean. The birth went beautifully, all things considered.
Four years later, pregnant with Helen Rose, the atmosphere in my area (Puget Sound) is so hostile to VBAC, I couldn't find a way to even try. This was hard because baby was head down, there was no indication that I couldn't have birthed her vaginally. So I agreed to schedule the surgery at 39 weeks, and prayed I'd go into labor sooner. I figured if labor started, I'd refuse a cesarean, but no luck. I reacted badly to the spinal this time, and was pretty miserable.
My sorrows- I never got to know what labor feels like. My babies weren't born on the day that Mother Nature intended. I had to be in a hospital instead of at home. I never learned if my body could handle labor.
My joys- Elise and Helen Rose are beautiful and healthy. I am alive. Both girls were in my arms shortly after birth. They roomed with me, and never left my arms. We began our nursing relationship right away.
I still grieve over what might have been, but I can't spend too long complaining, since Helen needs to nurse and Elise wants to read a book.
Peace,
Mary

I'll pop in for the roll call. I was posting in these threads until a few months ago.

My name's Lisa. I've had three sections, none of them necessary.

First was in 1993, for frank breech presentation. I arrived at the hospital after 20+ hours of labour, fully dilated, and ds1 was breech. I was hauled into OR over my objections, and the only thing that kept me sane was the belief that my next one would be a vaginal birth.

It took ten years for me to carry another baby to term (lots of problems with secondary infertility and miscarriages). The whole pregnancy was great...no problems, and an intended VBAC...until they determined she was breech at my 39 week checkup. The section was scheduled for two days later, and I agreed, because my doctors were so pushy about it. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for going ahead with the surgery. DD was taken at 39w, 2d, and I think she should have stayed inside for a lot longer. I also had almost no colostrum, and it took days for my supply to come in - the only time I've ever had supply issue with breastmilk. At least I learned - I'll never have a labour-free surgery again.

DS2 was going to be a VBA2C, and I fought the doctors for months. At 41w, 4d, my OB told me it was a section the next day, or he'd drop me as a patient. I panicked at the thought of UBA2C, and caved. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for that one, either...but at least I was in labour first.

I'm still really angry and depressed about the whole situation. I don't know if I'd feel differently if I felt my sections were necessary - but I don't. I never have. It's been a major emotional roller-coaster, and I don't think the ride's going to be over for quite a while yet.

Hi, I am Kristen, I had an unnecessary scheduled c-section in October. My "post dates" baby (according to 12 w u/s she was due Sept 24, according to LMP it was Oct 3rd, she was sectioned on Oct 3rd) showed up big on an u/s. My medwife dumped me and the doctor she worked with scared me into a c-section by lying about the risks of shoulder dystocia, and telling me that they probably missed GD in me (I doubt it though, DD was perfectly healthy when she came out). She came out big, 9lbs8.5oz, but I am still not convinced that I couldn't push her out.
Fast forward to now, I am 6 months post section, wallowing in PPD and PTSD. I am talking to a therapist, and have gotten involved in ICAN. I want to keep unnecessary c-sections from happening to other women, and lend my support to all women that have been affected by their c-sections.
I am already working on plans for a VBAC, sometime around three years from now!

Hugs to all you Mamas, especially the ones that are struggling with their birthing history.

I am Erin and I have two beautiful babes and one on the way. I was planning a natural birth with my first. She was found to be breech (frank) at 36 wks, although i know that she was that way for a long time. We tried every natural thing we could to turn her, but she wasn't feeling it. I didn't know of any doctor's at the time in my area that did vaginal breech births so i had a section when i went into labor (well, i thought it was labor, but now i believe they were just strong bh and would have puttered out) My consolation was that i wouldn't have another section and that i was an excellent candidate for vbac.

We liked her so much we decided to get pg when she was ten months old. I started planning my hbac with dr back up. Went to see the doc at 13 wks and found out i was making the anti-kell antibody. DS had the antigen so i was monitored weekly for anemia. He remained amazingly healthy so i was planning a natural hospital birth. At forty wks, he was found to have very low fluid (1.8 cm) so i had a section. It was devastating, because i really thought that after all that with dodging the antibodies that i was actually going to get to have a vaginal birth. He was a very healthy 9 and a half lb boy. I had ppd the months following his birth. My doula training was very healing for me and i was finally able to tell him and myself that i made the best decision that i could at the time with the resources i was given. And i couldn't do any better than that for him or myself.

I am pregnant and we find out in a few weeks if Woodge has the antigen. If he doesn't, i am tentatively planning a hba2c. If he does, i am coming to peace with doing what i have to do to get this baby here safely. It is frustrating to me that if i hadn't had that first c-section, i would likely not be in this situation (with the antigen or with having to have c-sections) but i cannot change it now. Being a doula and witnessing the miracle of birth has been cathartic to me. It is so good to be a part of birth. I hope to take some of that feeling of miraculousness with me to my own birth, whether it be in my bedroom or in an OR. Blessings to all you Mamas!