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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lillake</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She had an epidural with both of her children and she feels that the entire article was a lie. She informed us that her sons had decreasing oxygen and decreasing heartrates and the epidurals is what lifted both up to stable levels. When I showed her the information the article about having negative effects she got very angry and claimed that the article was wrong. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"></div>
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I would leave it at that and realize thats like discussing Abortion w Pat Roberts. I seriously doubt thats what happened but leave it at that and like another poster said- a lot of people get very defensive because of what they feel and what happend to them. I on the other hand poured over the article twice. I already knew that we would not do it next time but still it made for an interesting read.<br><br>
Another good read this month is Peggy's article. She said how she has heard from women that the magazine made them feel like inferior mothers because they did not live up to whatever Mothering said. Some mothers feel that way about MDC- that members snub them etc.<br>
Well in reality a lot of times the reader did not know that info was out there. I for one had no idea what a great thing cloth diapering is. If I did not have MDC or the magazine I would never have known.
 

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Since I'm a first time mom, I have no experience with breast milk, but do hope to bf exclusively as long as possible.<br><br>
My question about illness is do you think it is good to expose infants/toddlers to others on a regular basis. We were planning on working our schedule around each other so our child would never have to be in daycare, but are now considering that maybe one or two days a week might be good.<br><br>
I read an article that said a study was done on daycare kids vs. stay at home and the daycare kids had significantly less rates of childhood lukemia. That made me think. Also, we are only having one child so would daycare one or two days a week be beneficial socially?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>~Asana Mama~</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I read an article that said a study was done on daycare kids vs. stay at home and the daycare kids had significantly less rates of childhood lukemia. That made me think. Also, we are only having one child so would daycare one or two days a week be beneficial socially?</div>
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I had a psych professor in college that I loved & one of the things I remember her saying over and over is that "correlation does not equal causation." I have a very hard time believing that being in daycare would help prevent leukemia, as it is a disease that (from my understanding) is largely genetic.<br><br>
As far as the social aspect goes - at an early age (i.e. birth to two) you and your husband are your child's main and most important social connection. Feeling securely attached to YOU is the best thing to help him/her socially later on. A playgroup once and awhile when your child starts being more mobile is another great social outlet (for both of you!)<br><br>
Having said that - I don't think there's anything wrong with daycare, espeically on a part-time basis, if it is going to allow you & your husband to spend more time together (i.e. you won't always be working opposite shifts).<br><br>
We decided before we had children that we wanted one of the two of us to stay at home with the children as long as they were not in full day school. While she (soon to be they!) is still nursing it makes the most sense for me to stay at home - plus I love it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> We took a good look at our budget to see what we could omit, what we could reduce so that we could make do with one income - and suprisingly, we always seem to have more "extra $$ now that we are keeping such an organized budget!<br><br>
Just my $0.02. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"> Not trying to bash daycare - just offering an alternative <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Thanks Caraboose! I would love to stay at home, but since I make much more $$ looks like we would more likely have a SAHD scenario.<br><br>
Here's a question....do you all consider pumping to be just as good as BF? Because I will have to go back to work eventually, I will be pumping. Does the milk retain it's nutritional value, or is it better to try to avoid pumping and go with the real thing?
 

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Discussion Starter #26
Actually I am home ft and have been for almost 4 years. I also pumped so I had extra on hand for when I would be away from her for a feeding. I would also pump for that feeding away.<br><br>
These are very good questions to be raising now. But some answers are best left to what works well with each family. I myself have never heard of daycare kids not getting luakema(sp) as much. But I have heard of them getting so many other things quicker and longer. We do not do daycare in this family- never had, never will. I am not trying to bash it or put anyone down. I am just saying we don't do it here. We also do not eat brussel sprouts since neither of us like them- get my drift? I'm sure some people find them tasty!<br><br>
I recommend start NOW looking at daycare and sitter options. Working around schedules sounds so great on paper and in talking but thats a lot of time away from DH. A few days away from both of you will not hurt your baby as long as its a good fit for everyone. I also recommend waiting 12-15 weeks before starting back since you will have a good nursing relationship by then and an idea what you baby wants and needs. Also you can build up a generous milk supply in that time as well.<br>
Some other things I recommend: checking out your local LLL chapter, Read their book: the nursing bible "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" Version 7. Available almost anywhere. LLL also has a Working Mom nursing mom book that is excellent (according to my woh mama friends). Also Dr Sears has some great publishings. Also invest the most money you can afford in a breast pump and an LC to show you how to use it. Or a trusted friend like my best friend did with my pump n style.<br>
I'm glad your talking about this now and finding out what you want to do. It will help you plan your leave and have time w baby. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>~Asana Mama~</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks Caraboose! I would love to stay at home, but since I make much more $$ looks like we would more likely have a SAHD scenario.<br><br>
Here's a question....do you all consider pumping to be just as good as BF? Because I will have to go back to work eventually, I will be pumping. Does the milk retain it's nutritional value, or is it better to try to avoid pumping and go with the real thing?</div>
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I think pumping can be just as good nutritionally, but pumping was much harder than I expected it to be. I had gotten the avent pump & accessories for if my DH wanted to feed Caroline, if we would have a babysitter, etc. But pumping was more difficult than I expected AND Caroline did not like the bottle at all! The only time she really used one was when she was about 6 mths old & we were at a wedding for most of the day.<br><br>
The one thing that you might miss out on with expressed breast milk (or any type of bottle feeding) is the benefits both you and the baby gain from the skin to skin contact. I have read recommendations to bottle feeders (mom or dad) that you have your shirt up of off so you can have belly to belly skin contact with the baby.<br><br>
AsanaMama, I'm not sure if I'm confusing you with a different poster, but are you a massage therapist? Perhaps there would be somewhere in your area you could teach baby massage & have your child at the class as well? Or perhaps you could hire someone (mother's helper, part time nanny) to watch your baby at your workplace so that you could nurse or visit w/ the baby between sessions? Don't know how practical that is - but it seems like it could work for you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I am a massage therapist, but I work at the Ritz Carlton so it's a pretty structured setting.<br><br>
I know there are opportunities for me to venture out on my own, it's just that I won't make nearly the $$ I do at the Ritz on my own. By my working there it almost allows Dave to not have to work at all.<br><br>
He has been so great about trying to find a way for me to stay home, though. He even started writing a business plan for himself to try to get things to work.<br><br>
I'm sure they will all work out they way they should. I just feel so sick all of the time right now the thought of making any major life decisions only makes the ms worse
 

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I know i'm going to have to go back to work afterward, unless we win the lotto and pay off my 130K student loans <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I currently only work part time, and plan on going back one half day at a time once a good nursing relationship is established. Right now, I only work 4-5 hour days (usually leave home at 1 and home by 6 on thelongest day) so I think it should be workable.<br><br>
So, I went to the dermatologist, and I do have viral eczema <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> kind of like shingles, but fortunatley not as bad. So she put me on an antiviral (after calling her best friend who's an OB) and told me to take a few days off. So... I'mcouch bound for the week ( Idon't work fridays,so taking off two days is really the rest of the week!) Hopefully it will work quickly and I'll be out of pain soon! I haven't even had to take Tylenol, so it's not even half as bad as last time. Last time I was on darvocet for the pain <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ... and the only bad side effect from the antiviral is that it makes me nauseated... but I've been doing that for days! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I don't think the choice is pump or straight from the boob--rather it is pump or formula. Expressed BM is definitely better than formula. But I think you will find that your child might change his/her habits slightly to be able to get more milk straight from you. Pumping is not always easy but it was really worth it for me because I was able to provide for my ds what no one else could--and when we got back together in the evening and he nursed, it was a wonderful reunion.
 

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Discussion Starter #31
I do not think there was a choice at hand- pumped breastmilk is much better than no breastmilk. I do hope that on the times that the baby is with the mama though that she would be able to nurse him/her.<br><br>
I do know that I never gave my daughter a bottle. She would only take it from dh or my parents or in laws. Especially my fil, he was a pro at it. But the amount of times that happened was no low anyhow.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Amys1st</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I She said how she has heard from women that the magazine made them feel like inferior mothers because they did not live up to whatever Mothering said. Some mothers feel that way about MDC- that members snub them etc.</div>
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I loved that part as I've felt that way so many times. Despite all my good intentions sometimes I just can't do what I feel is the right thing to do. I've felt like a bad mother so many times. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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As the other posters said, expressed bm is always better than no breast milk. But I think Asanamama was asking if nursing is better, and yes, I think it is. The baby gets the exact nutrition they need at that exact time, in the exact amount they need, and with the added bonding of the breast. But, expressed milk is nutritious too, so much more so than formula, and that knowledge will drive you to pump if you need to, even if its a PITA.<br><br>
Get a good pump, it makes all the difference. Once I got the hang of it, it wasn't that big a deal. I just quit yesterday! I was getting 2 ounces or less for a week so my milk supply is definitly drying up.<br><br>
Also, introduce the bottle at about 4 to 6 weeks old, as long as the nursing relationship is well established. This is a period of growth spurt and the baby will be more likely to take the bottle than when they are a little older. Have someone else give the bottle, not mom. Then keep up with it, at least several times a week, so baby stays used to the bottle until the time that you need to go back to work.<br><br>
And I also suggest researching daycare before the birth if you can. It is so stressful to do so once baby is here. You can enjoy your maternity leave so much more without that stress. And there may be long waiting lists. We also did the SAHD thing for a few months. Its hard. You should check out the Working Mamas forum and read about some of the challenges. It was worth it, and dh bonded so much with dd, but it was a whole different dynamic than having a day care provider do things the way you want it done. Your dh/dp won't necesarily do it the way you want and it can be a power struggle! It helps if your not a control freak like me though.<br><br>
Is anyone else that is staying home going to introduce a bottle for occasional separations from baby? I was so wrapped up with introducing the bottle and pumping a freezer supply for dd cause I was going back to work. It would be so nice to not have to do that this time. But I am afraid baby won't take a bottle at all if I ever need to be away from him/her.
 

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KateMary,<br><br>
I haven't decided is I will bother pumping/bottle this time. I kept all the stuff, but I still SAH & it didn't really work well the 1st time so I may skip it. We ended up taking dd with us many places - dates were still fun with her along & I would also go do errands, etc. between nursings (which were longer & longer stretches as she got older.) Now, if we want to go out - it isn't a big deal because she only nurses during the night.<br><br>
I may pump some breast milk & freeze it just in case or to mix w/ solids when she/he is older, but last time I felt like most of what I pumped got thrown out because she wouldn't take much of it from the bottle.
 

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Discussion Starter #35
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lillake</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I loved that part as I've felt that way so many times. Despite all my good intentions sometimes I just can't do what I feel is the right thing to do. I've felt like a bad mother so many times. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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I hope you will get over that. Go with your gut and you will do whats right. You're a good mother just for thinking about it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> I do not think Peggy wanted that persona when she first started this magazine and I know that is not what she wants now.<br>
Many a times I have read articles and said Gee someone else does that too. Or I'm glad I read this!! But then I have read in Mothering about soy w wrong facts, smoking pot while prgnt and endorsing it by the authur <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:, and then an ad a few months ago about great videos for 6 mo olds WTF?? That must have slipped by!! So not every publishing is the bible for being a parent but for these 3 things that bugged me, there are about 1000 plus things I can take away from it and be happy. So this is not a reason to cancle my subscrn. But when I start questioning my own parenting over a publishing that comes out 6 times a year, then we got a problem KWIM?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KateMary</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is anyone else that is staying home going to introduce a bottle for occasional separations from baby?.</div>
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I will start to pump some about 4-6 weeks after birth unless there is some reason I need to pump earlier. I only do it to keep up a stock of bmilk in the freezer for an occasional bottle or if there is an emergency that would separate me from the baby. I also post a list of caring for pumped milk on the freezer and I showed key people how to take care of it. That was in case of an emergency and once that was depleted- then intro formula only then!!<br><br>
I too am so used to life w babe that I do not see a lot of time being seperated. DD is really just an extension of us since she always came along everywhere including restaurants. She went to church at 7 days old and has gone ever since. Also we would go out to dinner around sleeping even as late as last spring. She would be passed out in the booth and we would eat. Or she would be snuggled on dh's lap, he loves it. We also would take turns wearing her so its easier than lugging strollers etc. She also goes to concerts, loves plane rides etc. We still like to go out, but again its not as often as in BC anyway. We also have adult time every single day. We awake at 6am and have coffee and the paper for 45 minutes. DD gets up around 7am. She goes to sleep around 8:30 also so we have time together everyday.
 

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we bought the medela pump in style w/ my first dd cuz i had a flat nipple and pumped to draw it out. i only used it a couple times w/ 2nd dd cuz she didn't like the bottle. we introduced it at 6wks like they said, but she never took to it. fine with me, i stay home and we pretty much take our kids everywhere...2nd dd has never been away from me for more than 24hrs and 1st dd only a few times when she stayed w/ my inlaws for the weekend.
 

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I have used breast milk in dds eyes before. She had a plugged tearduct that would get all goopy. Of course my ped yelled at me and said I shouldn't do that. That's the last time dd was at the dr actually, when she was 6 mos. I still have to find a new doc. I never thought to use it on cuts or zits. I'll have to try that. My dd has her first cold, just now. And it hasn't been as bad as I had it. She has a runny nose, so maybe I will try the breastmilk thing for that too.<br><br>
For those who had sick kids even with breastfeeding, just think how much worse it could have been if you hadn't been breastfeeding. I think it helps no matter what. Some kids are just more prone to get sick, and those kids are very lucky if they are being breastfed. I'm sure it does wonders.<br><br>
I read the epideral article too. I can't really get around having one if they make me have another C/S. I wasn't offended by the article, it was just facts. Luckily my dd had no problems and still breastfed great from the start. I was one of the 1 in 20 who had vomiting from it. Not fun when you are on the operating table. I am not looking forward to that happening again. I go to my new OB next Thursday and will find out their policy on VBACs.
 

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I pumped some with dd. My mom would watch dd every once in awhile, so I would pump for a few days before hand so she would have ebm. DD always took a bottle fine. I had a hard time pumping though, I would have to nurse on one side until the other side was busting and then I could pump some out of it. But I never got much at one time. I don't know what I would have done if I had to pump for going back to work fulltime. Maybe if I had an industrial type pump or something, I just had a manual pump. But I was almost always with dd, so it wasn't a big deal. I was glad she could take a bottle though so I could go somewhere for a little while without her if I had to. I am sure I will try to do the same with this baby. I think it is always nice to know they can get a bottle of ebm if something should happen and they have to.
 

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A manual pump is harder use than an electric one. It works if all else fails though.<br>
I had the Pump n Style by Medela with the backpack. A funny story w it: DD was about 6 weeks old when my DH had a golf outing. Afterwards he brought his 4some back to see Liz and bring gifts. I forgot he was coming and the pump was all laid out on the table for all to see. As they walked in his buddy Brian said "What is that??" Brian's brother was one of the foursome and said at the same time "Oh wow it comes w a backpack now? My wife would love that" Brian says "But what it is?" DH, the brother, and I just smiled at each other and the brother said "I'll explain later." But DH explianed what it was and then Brian asked "Have you tried it?" as I exclaimed "No!!" DH says rather seriously "Yeah, I did the other day its kind of sweet." I almost fell over and he looked at me like "What?" I could not believe he did that!!!<br><br>
But the Medela has a couple new models out now in the last 4 years. They are great for working Moms. They run about $250-$600 I think. But thats about 2 months worth of formula. Also see if your midwife or a hospital LC can rent one for you. If the midiwfe or a ped or LC rx's, a lot of time insurance covers it as well. Flexible spending accts also cover it.
 
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