i was planning on bringing my 15 mo to the parent-teacher conference next week, but now parents are talking swapping sitting?? i am aware that pam leo and other gd'ers think it's harmful to discuss intimate things about the kid in front of the kid but do you really think it's necessary to farm her out for this?
child present for parent-teacher conference
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I think that your DD is advanced enough that she will understand a great deal of what is discussed, and it might not be the best for her to hear if there are any issues. I also think it might be easier for you to be honest (even blunt) about issues with the daycare (one in particular) if she's not there.
But, I know it's important to have as much time as you can with her, so do whatever your gut says!
But, I know it's important to have as much time as you can with her, so do whatever your gut says!
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If this is a conference with her teacher, then I think its definitely better if she isn't listening in -- everyone can speak more freely then. If this is about an older child, it would certainly be less distracting without having to worry about a toddler getting into things. Also, since a conference involves two people, if you do bring her you need to be sure the teacher thinks this is OK as well.
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She's 15 months old? I can't imagine there would be a problem!
We brought all three kids and had them play in another part of the room. I told dd I would talk to her later about what her teacher said. It worked out fine.
I remember when I was in school I had a classmate who translated his first teachers conference in the U.S. for the mom and teacher and when he got home he got a spanking. Crazy.
I remember when I was in school I had a classmate who translated his first teachers conference in the U.S. for the mom and teacher and when he got home he got a spanking. Crazy.
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If she will understand and/or care about what is said, deppends on many factors; her comprehension level, her personality, her level of distraction, what the teacher says, etc.
The other issue is the attention she will take while you are trying to talk with her teacher.
The other issue is the attention she will take while you are trying to talk with her teacher.
alas, i asked the teacher last night and she said kids were not permitted. it bites, as there are 3 teachers, plus me, in a child-proof space, so really how much attention would she need. i just feel like arranging for a sitter is going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
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i have decided not to be confrontational re their opposition to NIP'ing. it just isn't worth the risk of having them treat dd differently.
Originally Posted by veganone  I also think it might be easier for you to be honest (even blunt) about issues with the daycare (one in particular) if she's not there. |
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As a teacher, I won't discuss children in front of children. I know other teachers are different, so you want to talk to your teacher first and see what's OK. I also don't teach children that young so I may feel differently about it at that age than I would with 3-6 year olds.
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I'm a teacher-- I do not like school age children at conferences at all because I don't think everything we say is appropriate for their ears. I want to be able to tell a parent that her child's reading level is such and such, whereas the rest of the class is such and such, and why we are taking steps to remediate this, without the child hearing. I don't want to discuss possible evaluations in front of a child. I don't want to discuss behavior issues and motivation and things going on at home/school that may be affecting each other in front of the child.
Kids younger than school age are hard because we're on a really tight schedule and there is SO much we want to talk about and hear from the parent that any distractions take time away from that. Depending on the number of kids in my class, I have between 10-15 minutes to meet with each parent, and there is just so much information the school needs me to give before I can even talk specifics. If even 3-5 of those minutes are spent aquainting a little one to the room and helping them, then that's 3-5 less minutes we can talk.
Kids younger than school age are hard because we're on a really tight schedule and there is SO much we want to talk about and hear from the parent that any distractions take time away from that. Depending on the number of kids in my class, I have between 10-15 minutes to meet with each parent, and there is just so much information the school needs me to give before I can even talk specifics. If even 3-5 of those minutes are spent aquainting a little one to the room and helping them, then that's 3-5 less minutes we can talk.
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