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My x just paid my child support, and the teller at the drive through told me that he specifically stated that he wanted the check he paid to have the offical bank stamp "for deposit only". This causes the money to be shown as deposited, but not available till Friday. I am so pissed right now. He knows how desperate we are, since my phone has been turned off, and other things going on too. We are frying foods because it is the cheapest way to eat, and I never fry!<br>
Potatoes, turnovers ect, with cheap ingrediants.<br><br>
Anyway, he is intentionally doing this to keep me from getting the money until the latest time possible after he paid the support. I am planning to take him back to court, but honestly it is not free to do it, and oh...I am so overwhelmed by his irresponsible behaviour, which affects all of my children.<br><br>
When I go back to court, can I say HOW the money is to deposited? Preferably, I want it drawn OUT of his account. That is what I am hoping for.<br><br>
My friend just got a settlement where the ex relinquished rights to the children and still pays childsupport, alimony and insurance. I want THAT settlement.<br><br>
Okay, any advice or comforting hugs?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I would ask that it be automatically taken from his bank account by electronic funds transfer or from his pay at work. From what I understand that is typical. I don't get cs, ex keeps saying he will pay it, not sure when but whatever.<br><br>
I would like my ex to give up rights completely too, and I don't even care if he ever pays cs if he does that. He wanted to and we had the papers drawn up and he found out I could still file for cs....but he has gone now close to 2 year without seeing ds so I'm not sure what the point is. Sorry I digress!<br><br>
If you need food are there any emergency food pantries in your area? A friend of mind gets food from there when they run short. Call around, the Salvation Army, churches, etc.<br><br>
Your ex is being a UA violation, I'm sorry.
 

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I am sorry he is being an Male donkey. it all depends on the judge, how you present your case, and the affadavit you write in support of your claim and request. It's not easy I know. I help people with the cort stuff as I know the process. Maybe you qualify for assist from battered women if he ever battered you, or rape crisis if you have been unfortunate to have that experience an advocate could help you. Sorry I can't offer more. Oops , yes, legal aid? Don't know you but do you or any of the children have a disability? If so they would be more apt to assist you. Good luck. As for fried foods, buy some cheap olive oil and eggs, cheese. Potatoes are not a bad food at all. We are eating from the generosity of friends now. When that ends, food shelf. Do you know people from school? Often there are food shelf drives and if you speak with person heading that and give info on your food needs they could post and give to your family rather then food shelf. It worked for me, my old friend and adult childrens' teacher, that is how we are eating.
 

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If you are going back to court anyway, you can certainly bring up the issue of his financial manipulations and request a withholding order. In my state the employer has to remit the CS to the state within a certain time frame relative to when he pays my ex. It's usually only a day or two after the state receives it that it is direct deposited into my checking. I also have the option of getting a paper check, but the turn around time on the direct deposit is much less.<br><br>
The withholding order isn't a surefire way to pin down exactly when I will receive the payments, as it depends on when his employer sends the check to the state. However it does eliminate the game-playing and wrests some of the control away from a control freak ex.
 

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Hmmm, I don't understand how "for deposit only" changes when the check becomes available...that is just supposed to protect yourself from someone cashing your check. You may want to switch banks...most banks nowadays are doing away with the hold on deposited checks, bc they process them electronically now. The check does not have to be physically returned to his bank before the transfer is made and available.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I posted a long post here in return, but it didn't show up.<br>
Thank you mamas for your comments. Yes, I need to go back to court, but it is so darn expensive, and I barely have money for the basics. It is a difficult situation.<br><br>
I want to go to juvenile court (I'm in TN) but I am concerned that the state will take some of my child support if I do that, since I was on food stamps for 18 months a few years ago. I even think I want to go get food stamps at this time again, since things are so extremely tight and unbearable. how would that affect my child support payments if I went to juvenile court to get help with them?<br><br>
Anyway, ways appreciate all the advice I get here, and really wish I had much more time to post to the forum.<br><br>
Jyotsna
 

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I vote for getting the money taken out of his check. Takes the control away from him. Also, in most states they can't/don't take away your child support for food stamps. They can do that for welfare/cash assistance, but not for FS.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>True Blue</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9862333"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hmmm, I don't understand how "for deposit only" changes when the check becomes available...that is just supposed to protect yourself from someone cashing your check. You may want to switch banks...most banks nowadays are doing away with the hold on deposited checks, bc they process them electronically now. The check does not have to be physically returned to his bank before the transfer is made and available.</div>
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Yeah that. I've been a bank teller and etc for 3 years now, and I have no idea what this is you're talking about! "For deposit only" just means no cash back on a check, at least where I work! It doesn't trigger a hold...<br><br>
I say forget electronic funds transfers, have the state take the money <i>directly from his paycheck</i>! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Seriously, that's how my DH pays child support, although it's going to a different country so that might complicate matters.
 

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Food stamps doesn't have to be paid back - ever. They will never make you pay it back unless is was obtained illegally.<br><br>
Go apply for food stamps, the state child support office will start collecting your support and giving you the full amount.
 

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Food stamps shouldn't affect your child support amount. Does your state have a complicated calculation for CS or is it a simple percentage of the NCP's income?
 
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