Child wants to go to school

Does your daughter even know that school is or is she just repeating what she has heard elsewhere?

When my daughter was three, she went through a period of saying she wanted to go to "real school." I asked her what real school was and she told me it was the place where people learn real stuff. When I asked her what real stuff was, she didn't know. She just knows that most kids go to school, and she didn't really understand why she wouldn't be going.

One day when she told me she wanted to go to school, I said to her, "How would you like it if I stood in the room and told you what to play with and how long to play with it for, and then, before you were done playing with it, told you you had to move on to something else? What if I wouldn't let you play with what you wanted to play with and made you play with something you didn't like?" She said, "Well that wouldn't be any fun." I said to her, "That's pretty much what school is. The teacher tells you what to learn and when to learn it, even if you don't want to." She replied, "I want to have homeschool," and that has been the end of wanting to go to school.

She occasionally puts on her backpack, packs up a notebook and some pencils, and tells me she's going to school. She goes to the dining room table, does her "work," and then goes off to play with something else. I don't see this as indicative of a desire to go to school. It's just playing, just like when she pretends to be a predator and eat meat even though she has no desire to really do it.

Finally, you are the parent and you get to make the big decisions for your young children. If you feel that homeschooling is best for your daughter, then you can be comfortable with that decision.

Namaste!

Your child doesn't know the "truth" of school. The school bus, play ground and packing a lunch seems very appealing to a little child. But the truth of school is not all play and fun.

My oldest son really wanted to go to school when he was in first grade. We said we were going to contiune to homeschool. When it was time for 2nd grade he really, really wanted to go. So we decided to let him try it. The first week was fun for him. But by the 2nd week he started to see how it wasn't that fun, he had to sit a lot, be quiet and still. He had to do things he didn't want to do and learn about things he wasn't interested in. After 7 weeks I got a call from the school nurse that his tummy hurt, I came and got him and he said he never wanted to go back to school again. He'd be a 5th grader next year and loves being at home.

My other 2 kids seem to have no interest in school what so ever. My other son would be a second grader and my dd would be a kindergartner.

We are busy with other homeschoolers, play dates and field trips. My kids feel they would miss out on so much if they went to school.

Sit down with your little girl and come up with a list of activities to do together. Could be field trips, swimming, outings to park, singing, cooking, etc. etc....Do those things together and have playdates. Your daughter will see how rich her life is and how she doesn't need school. Make your home a fun haven for your kids where they have no interest of going any place else!

Best of luck...
Momof3sweeties

I have thought about this alot as I know my son will want to go to "school" like his cousins and friends. So my hubby and I talked about it and we will tell him from the start that he will go to "school" just like his friends and cousins, but not the same school. Just as they all dont go to the same school.

So we already call his gym class, gym school. And when he gets to school age we will call his other classes school. We will be using connection academy the first year it is a charter school, and we will tell him that is his school. And we will be going on field trips with or without the group. So maybe sign her up for classes, and tell her to pack her backpack and hop on the community bus to go there. The novelty will wear off and she will have her fix! You just need to act like what she and you are doing is normal and sooo much fun!

My daughter went through a similar phase about the same age 3.5 - 4. For her it was motivated mostly from social reasons and reinforced everywhere as our district only introduce Junior Kindegarden this January so everyone was asking her if she was going and playing up how much fun it would be. For our family it's not an option for her to go to school at this point, but telling her why we made that decision didn't really answer her curiousity about school or meet her needs.

We talked about what exactly it was she thought she would be missing at school and we tried to deal with those directly (mostly social and 'learning" ie workbooks) We were involved w our homeschool group, but we got more actively involved in programs that met her needs as well as the needs of my older/other child(ren). I found a wonderful french preschool program run by a homeschooling friendly family which many of her homeschooled friends attend. We got involved in a learning co-op, Roots and Shoots and a dance class with many homeschooling friends. She loves all these activities and while she occassionally asks about school she is horrified at the idea that she might have to give up these activities in order to attend. We went to the dollar store and loaded up on workbooks, filled a new pencil case with supplies and wrote up some learning goals for her. It was more the 'trappings" of school than the actual experience that she wanted. It is now a non-issue for us.

I would suggest getting involved now with your homeschool groups, start rehearsing your answer to the "why can't I go to school?" and work on some strategies for avoiding the back to school onslaught.

Good luck
Karen

SO SO common for kids this age. I (correctly) guessed the age of your child before even clicking on the thread. The pro-school influences sneak in all over the place- books, TV (PBS especially!), people in the grocery store asking your child about school, etc. etc. Many adults work extra hard to convince children about how great and wonderful school will be. It's much easier to send kids to school when kids are excited about going to this new, exciting, grown-up place.

To get past the pro-school influence, I simply sat down and talked to my kids about the realities of school. Yes, school can be fun, but there are also numerous drawbacks, including the fact that attendance is not optional. We also treat education as another area in which 'different families do different things/ different families have different rules.' Although my kids did feel a little left out when their friends started kindergarden, it wasn't a big deal. And once their friends went to school for awhile and got to know the realities of school, the friends no longer talked about how wonderful school was

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Good suggestion. I've read of other moms doing that before. The novelty of "school" soon wears off. I read about a mom even making her child raise her hand to go to the bathroom. Would only allow a sip of water from the "drinking fountain" when her child was thirsty, etc. etc. The child gets to see what school is really like.