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I am birth doula that is putting together a childbirth ed class specifically for parents that have gone through infertility/miscarriage/2nd/3rd trimester loss/stillbirth.<br><br>
I have been talking to a couple of dear friends of mine that have walked many of these paths and listened as they cried after coming home from their childbirth classes. As one of my friends who had multiple prior losses said "it's so hard to hear other moms complaining of heartburn and trying to decide if they wanted an epidural and all I can think about is I hope I get a baby to take home"<br><br>
So I'm talking to all the mothers and fathers I can who have walked this path to see what they want in a childbirth class. I am also working on one for pregnancy complications and prenatal diagnosis of special needs.(so I'll be posting over in the speical needs forum also)<br><br>
If there's anything that any of you can impart to me that you would or wouldn't want to know/hear...really anything at all as I put this together for other familes that would be awesome.So far I have gotten a lot of interest from a couple of docs and midwives that I know.<br><br>
I'm thinking of offering the class quarterly to host a group of 4-6 couples from multiple doctors/midwives. Possibly keeping it a shorter class as well, since most of the parents I know have had to take off extra time for extra ultrasounds and NSTs.I was thinking a couple of evenings or Saturday mornings etc.<br><br>
ANY input is greatly appreciated <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
*edited to add that I have been training with a grief councelor as well*
 

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Nothing specific to add, but wanted to say how amazing of an idea this is!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
I am dreading childbirth classes so much that I might not sign up for any, since I've had multiple losses and now am faced with a very ill twin who may not survive birth. I simply cannot be around women complaining about their good fortune...I want to scream how unfair it is that fatigue is their biggest problem!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
I wish there was something like this where I lived. I'd sign up in a heartbeat.<br><br>
Claire
 

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I have been struggling with this very issue. After three normal homebirths then three consecutive losses, I do not know where I belong, class-wise. I would not at all feel comfortable in a group of "normal" couples.<br><br>
My issue is a loss of confidence in my body and the process. I need to rediscover my competence and strength. Birthing From Within classes were very beneficial during our first pregnancy and I would like to do something similar now, just not with a bunch of first-time mommas. (No offense to first-timers!) It is not where I am anymore.<br><br>
I would like classes that address my fears in a therapeutic way. I was reading an article in Outside magazine today about athletes who survive catastrophic accidents and go on to compete in their sport again. (Think: Picaboo Street skiing again after shattering her femur in a fall) The article addressed the necessity of overcoming The Fear. That is where I am. My losses were early but the damage is done. I am in therapy but childbirth classes would be great too.<br><br>
I don't know if my reply helps...I think its a wonderful idea!<br><br>
Amy
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jtrt</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14682270"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have been struggling with this very issue. After three normal homebirths then three consecutive losses, I do not know where I belong, class-wise. I would not at all feel comfortable in a group of "normal" couples.<br><br>
My issue is a loss of confidence in my body and the process. I need to rediscover my competence and strength. Birthing From Within classes were very beneficial during our first pregnancy and I would like to do something similar now, just not with a bunch of first-time mommas. (No offense to first-timers!) It is not where I am anymore.<br><br>
I would like classes that address my fears in a therapeutic way. I was reading an article in Outside magazine today about athletes who survive catastrophic accidents and go on to compete in their sport again. (Think: Picaboo Street skiing again after shattering her femur in a fall) The article addressed the necessity of overcoming The Fear. That is where I am. My losses were early but the damage is done. I am in therapy but childbirth classes would be great too.<br><br>
I don't know if my reply helps...I think its a wonderful idea!<br><br>
Amy</div>
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Your reply TOTALLY helps <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> This is exactly what I need to hear. I love Birthing From Within and was thinking of incorperating some of it into this class. I am not a certified BFW doula or educator though so I will probably talk with a couple of friends who are.<br><br>
Does anyone have any experiance with Calm Birth/Calm Healing ? I have liked what I"ve seen, but I don't know if it would be a little intense for some couples.<br><br>
I am really working to put something together that does take the fear out, or at least lessen it. That encourages without pandering or pushing aside those very real fears.<br><br>
I just want to do it right..if you know what I mean.<br><br>
thank you Amy & Claire for responding, I've been on the phone with other doulas and typing like mad today putting this into being. I'mm hoping to get this moving within the next month or so.*crossing fingers*
 

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I've never made it far enough to know what childbirth classes consist of (I get the general idea though).<br>
Anyway, I think that firstly, it would be about 600% more comfortable just knowing that the other people in the class had been through a similar experience. It's terrible, but comforting.<br><br>
Also, and this may or may not be agreeable - but a lot of Mamas in these types of situations probably have more 'medicalized' pregnancies than others. Some people are comfortable with that, some aren't.<br><br>
I guess I just wouldn't want to be made to feel guilty for being high intervention. I want a healthy baby as much as the next person, and I will do whatever it takes. Sometimes it's very difficult to hear of Mamas who 'trust their bodies', and don't have ultrasounds and don't have their hcg checked, etc. No offence intended. But after loss, it can be really tough to 'trust your body'.<br><br>
Best of luck with it all.
 

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I agree with what has been said.<br><br><br>
I really thought I was going to go the totally hands off for my birthing. Turns out I'm now way too flipped out to do that. I'd like hear that my fears are okay. For me, I'll need to be screened for GBS nearly constantly from my bfp onwards. I want to not hear about how GBS is nothing to be worried about, even if thats the case for most women. I want to be supported if I ditch my fear once I get to viability and go for my hands off birth. I want to be supported if I can't take the stress and insist on being induced at 38 weeks. I want my lack of trust in my body to be understood.<br><br>
I also kinda want my loss to be a secret from the other class members. I don't want it to be announced that this isn't my first pregnancy and I'm not sure I want to even bring up Amelia at all.<br><br>
Now, all of this will be interesting as my CBE was going to be/ will be also my MW's assistant who's apprenticing with MW's Birth Center. She was there getting info for me about pProm when I was first diagnosed and she brought us food after the birth. So, I can see that she's going to be in an interesting place come our birth classes.
 

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What an interesting and good idea. I just had a hit on my blog/website today for "miscarriage classes" and I started thinking (briefly) about something similar to what you posted about above. I teach almost exclusively private classes, so it would be easy for me to offer another "special focus" class (my website link is in my profile and you can read there about the single session/special classes I already offer). Perhaps private classes would be the best option for you in teaching this type of class?<br><br>
I am dealing with a semi-related issue right now in that I just had my miscarriage 9 days ago and am now faced with the fact that I have three birth classes scheduled to start in the next two weeks. Plus, I have several inquiries for classes...I love birthwork and I know I want to continue doing it, but i'm having some "issues" getting excited about preparing for these classes so soon after my own little baby died <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I'd say make sure you include a lot of guided relaxation and calming techniques. There's a lot of stress and worry all the way through so knowing how to relax would be handy. Talking about fears too, it's hard to talk about this in the 'real' world as people don't understand.
 

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Nothing special to add, just that this is a great idea.<br><br>
Most of the support for participants will come from the other couples/participants, your job is just to create the enviornment conducive to learning, that is supportive of the people involved and their concerns...<br><br>
I also had planned a hands off birth with my son, but ended up with a c section because they were uncertain of his anomolies. This birth I am much more open to whatever, because at the end of the day, I hardly remember my c section, I remember my son.
 

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This is a wonderful idea and people have made a lot of great suggestions. There are two I wanted to second. First, no guilt, implied or otherwise, regardless of where people end up on the intervention scale. That question is just different after a loss. Second, it helped me a lot to not have to pretend that the fear wasn't there. It WAS there and I had to learn how to move on with the fear not how to get over it.<br><br>
Thanks again for this wonderful idea.
 
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