[rainashine]

I know many mamas disagree but I'm not comfortable with my dd in an actual daycare center. So we've opted for a home situation. I do still feel strongly about that even though we've had some issues.

We were very happy with the woman we use at first. Dd was happy from the first day. She started daycare at 9 months with no bad adjustment period. We were thrilled. This was our second setting and the first place dd went two days and cried the whole time. It was a relief to find somewhere she liked.

Well, the first issue started right away. Dd started getting diaper rash every week. It would be cleared up by Sunday night and back Monday evening. Not super bad but there and nagging. Never had problems at home. This culminated in February with a bout of diarrhea (dcp did not call us to have her picked up even though it had continued all day) that resulted in blisters. I think she got freaked out about that and we did not have a problem again until the last week or so. Now we're back to a rash that shows up every Monday.

The second issue is naps. Dd is the youngest child there (14 months) and dcp does not/can't seem to enforce quiet time with the older kids. Dd is there four days a week and get a full nap maybe once a week. Twice a week it was cut short because the older kids wouldn't stay quiet during their quiet time and once a week there just isn't a nap that happens. This of course causes our evenings to be miserable. We've dealt with it by a short nap before dinner and lots of sleep on the weekends.

The third, and most serious and recent is possible dehydration. It happened the first time a couple weeks ago. I picked dd up at 4:30 and she did not have a wet diaper for 15 hours. We started sending a sippy cup with her. Last week, we noticed the sippy was going unused again. Thursday it wasn't as severe but she didn't have as many big wets as usual but she didn't go back until Monday. Monday there were no wets after I picked her up at 5 until morning. That one was super wet as I'd given her a ton of water right before bed (she was thirsty). Tuesday, she had a slightly wet diaper about 6:30 and still wasn't wet when I left her with dh at 7:30 this morning. I haven't been able to get ahold of him to see how it was when he got her up.

Long story and we're looking desperately for a new provider. Is there any chance that this is from something other than a disorganized home and neglect? I hate confrontation but this is my child. I just don't want to accuse someone of something when it could be something else. If you got through all of this....

Tell me I'm not nuts for needing her out of there!

 

[purplevega]

Sounds like you need a new sitter asap.

Kim

 

[GuildJenn]

I'm with you; new care situation asap. I wouldn't have a confrontation about it. I'd just arrange for new care and then give my two weeks paid notice (or whatever your contract was) - paid in the sense of handing over the money but not leaving my child in that person's care.

 

[luv-my-boys]

I am a licensed DCP and I was going along until you started talking about the dehydration. The rash can be a number of innocent things like reactions to wipes/ointments/lotions that she uses that you do not use. I had a child who was having a reaction to the cleaner I used to disenfect the changing table. So that can be a number of things...including not being changed frequently or allowed to sit in feces/urine. If she is not using the sippy is she using a cup or her own sippy cups? I often substiute my own cups because of children bickering over *different* cups or because I have found some that work better than others in terms of leakage. Also if she receives any federal/state nutrition funds or grants she might be required to provide all food/drinks to the child while in her care. However, it seems that you and your child are not comfortable with that provider and it does appear to be somewhat hectic and disorganized especially if she is not able to direct the group accordingly regarding naps/schedules. I would be looking for a new provider as well.

 

[Sophie07]

Does she have any other signs of dehydration? Maybe she is using a different cup? DD is 16 months and almost always goes 12-14 hours without a wet diaper overnight. She will usually pee on the toilet first thing in the morning after she wakes up. She gets breaskmilk and up to a few ounces of water during the day and nurses all night.

 

[rainashine]

As far as the rash issue goes, we provide all the wipes and we use a combo of sposies and cloth both at dc and at home that we provide. In discussions with her we haven't been able to pinpoint why so I've kind of chalked it up to possibly just stress of not being home.

I don't mind if she doesn't use our cup. That's not a big deal. We started sending it only when dd started not peeing. I just want her to have enough fluid. 4 wets a day just doesn't seem enough to me. If she was having more than that during the day and/or at least one good wet in the evening, I'd feel better.

Also, is there some nutritional requirement/regulation that daycare children have to have juice? We're not big on juice in our family and see it as more a big source of sugar. Dcp is VERY into juice and has given it to dd even after being asked not to.

We are looking for another provider but its been slow going so far.

 

[Aubergine68]

Maybe the juice is causing the diaper rash?

My dd had blistering dipe rashes caused by citrus/peaches/strawberries/high-vitamin-c juices.

 

[~pi]

This does not sound like a good fit at all.

mama, it can be tough to find caregivers you like and trust.

 

[LilMomma83]

I would just ask, if there is an issue, I would then let her know my expectations and give it one more try....that is just me. I think it could be neglectful things, but might not...

 

[j924]

I think any single one of those things could be explained away but altogether it seems like she is overwhelmed with either the# of kids or their ages. Has she been in business long? When I first started naps and scheduling were especially difficult. Does she have a rule about sitting to drink. I have had kids start who drank copious amounts at home walking around with sippies. While I had drinks avaiable at all times I asked the kids to sit while drinking. Sometimes this would limit their drinking until the excitement of other kids playing wore off. I wanted to second the pp who said the juice could be the cause of the rash. Good luck with your search.

 

[nextcommercial]

I am a home daycare provider.

We get rashes here too, but not that often, and never the same child over and over. Could it be the wipes or spray that she's using on your daughter?

Nap time.. I enforce nap for everyone. Even the big big kids rest so the little kids can sleep. Doesn't matter if the child is six years old, they can lie down and watch a movie while the others sleep.

The sippy cup. I won't let parents bring their own sippy cup. I keep cups out for every child, all day, and they are always filled. If I go to fill one cup, I check the other cups too. I can't say that I would notice if one child wasn't drinking his or her cup, or that I had only filled it once that day. That's a hard one to keep track of. I do know that the toddlers drink theirs a lot, because those seem to be the ones I fill the most. The kids can only drink in the kitchen, and can't carry them around the house, but they learn fast to keep them in the kitchen.

I think it sounds like she's not very organized, and isn't enforcing a schedule. I know that if she's licensed, she must provide every child a two hour quiet time. Even if that means they lie on mats in front of the tv, they must lie down. (I think that rule only applies for kids under age five though)

I wish she'd put your dd in a quiet bedroom to get a good nap. You'd think for her own peace of mind, she'd want the little ones to be well rested.

I think before taking your dd out of there, I'd sit down and talk to her about some of these issues. Especially if your dd fits in there. Sometimes, they just "fit" so well in a group, that it's hard to take them away from that.

 

[readytobedone]

i too would try talking to her. if it ends up not working out, though, definitely go for a LICENSED place next time. it can be a home daycare (ours is, and i'm with you on preferring that for a multitude of reasons), but licensed can make a HUGE difference in my experience!

 

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

Hi mama! Next time you picked your little one up I'd probably casually let the dcp know that you've noticed that you haven't had as many wet diapers every day and ask her how much they normally drink a day. That opens up discussion on the sippy cup and what they do drinking wise.

I'd probably go with the same approach with the rash....just mention it and ask what she uses for wipes/cleaners/ect...

 

[RockStarMom]

I would probably be looking for a new situation.

 

[rainashine]

Thank you for all of the replies! As for licensing, we purposely didn't look at licensed places here the first time because in our state a license gives permission for a higher child/adult ratio as well as requires vaccination records. While she had all her vax thru 6 months we've chosen to delay indefinitely the 1 year and later ones. But I do hear you on that.

I've talked to her multiple times this week and she finally "got" the fluid issue yesterday when dd only had 1 wet all day. That's the biggest deal is that both dh and I talk to her about things and she seems to blow it off until it becomes a BIG problem. We've been causally looking for a month but now are seriously looking for another situation.

What really topped it off, though, was she sent home a transporation release yesterday. I didn't look at it until I got home assuming it was just a standard I have permission to take your kid in the car kind of thing. No. It was form that pretty much said she had permission to take my child anywhere with no notice or permission. From running errands to unannounced fieldtrips. We are NOT okay with that. We have no problem with dcp taking dd places but we want to know about. Every time unless there's an emergency and then we'd better find out ASAP. If that's unreasonable, please let me know!

 

[GoBecGo]

I don't use daycare of any kind but my mom was a DCP and emergency foster cover mom when i was little.

She would provide a list of whereabouts for te week ahead. Like if we were running errands on a Tuesday, she wrote that into the schedule:

8am breakfast
rest of am: crafts
11am: shopping at localmarket
11.30am: park en route home
midday: lunch
pm: home activities as usual

She was registered but they don't have the vax rules etc. in the UK. I wouldn't be leaving my DD with anyone who gave her juice despite me asking her not to - is she also willing to take her to the dentist for fillings?! The release form you describe sounds to me like she wants to have it as if she were your kids mama, which of course would make all of her days easier because she can do hat she feels like with them all and not have to be too rigid about it all, but she's NOT their mama, and she DOES need to be professional in her care of other people's children. Don't sign, find someone else.

 

[nabigus]

In addition to the other stuff, the fact that she gives juice when you specifically asked her not to sent up a red flag for me.

A DCP doesn't have to be outright neglecting your child for it to be a bad fit. It sounds like this isn't a good fit for your family.

 

[ShwarmaQueen]

That's just unacceptable. Your DD needs someone who can actually tend to her needs and who makes you feel confident that she's not being neglected.