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This started when he was around 18 months and it seemed some parents had worked hard to instruct their kids to go and hug other children, give them a kiss, whatever. My son didn't like it at all and would cry when kids would throw their arms around his neck.
Now he's 3 and it keeps happening and I don't like and don't know how to handle it.
Here's one example from today: go to the park. He plays with another boy who is 4 years old (we've never seen the boy before). When the boy's mom tells him it's time to go and say 'goodbye', the boy throws his arms around my son's neck and won't let go even when my son begins to cry and tries to untangle the arms around him.
I always tell him that he never has to be hugged if he doesn't want to and I repeat this when he is upset after a child hugging him. But I think it must be confusing when I tell him that and people hug him against his will anyway.
What can I do? I've read both of Gavin de Becker's wonderful books and am very concerned that my son is receiving the message that his body isn't totally his and he has physical stuff done to him that is upsetting but he can't stop it.
Btw, my husband has told DS, 'he was just trying to hug you. He wasn't trying to hurt you.' And I hate that because I think that one should have the right to not have anyone touch, whether it hurts or not. DH hasn't read 'Protecting the Gift'.
Now he's 3 and it keeps happening and I don't like and don't know how to handle it.
Here's one example from today: go to the park. He plays with another boy who is 4 years old (we've never seen the boy before). When the boy's mom tells him it's time to go and say 'goodbye', the boy throws his arms around my son's neck and won't let go even when my son begins to cry and tries to untangle the arms around him.
I always tell him that he never has to be hugged if he doesn't want to and I repeat this when he is upset after a child hugging him. But I think it must be confusing when I tell him that and people hug him against his will anyway.
What can I do? I've read both of Gavin de Becker's wonderful books and am very concerned that my son is receiving the message that his body isn't totally his and he has physical stuff done to him that is upsetting but he can't stop it.
Btw, my husband has told DS, 'he was just trying to hug you. He wasn't trying to hurt you.' And I hate that because I think that one should have the right to not have anyone touch, whether it hurts or not. DH hasn't read 'Protecting the Gift'.