Mothering Forum banner

CHristian Parenting book. Crossposted

867 Views 21 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  EmmaJean
I found this while looking around on the internet and I didn't see anything that was shown as being negative. Do you know about the book Rivers of Grace by Mark and Patti Virkler? Again I couldn't find anything obviously negative or awful but I really don't know much about their ministry either. Please let me know pro's and cons.
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
I've never heard of it. But did you need some christian parenting book recomendations? If so, I can think of four that I'd recommend without hesitation.
Yeah. I am looking for Good examples of GD and how to bless your DC with your presence and not make them want to run from you. There are too many books written by people who just don't get it.
Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen is wonderful.

Biblical Parenting by Crystal Lutton has a great reputation, though I haven't read it -- I've read dozens of synopsises and reviews.

How Would Jesus Raise a Child by Teresa Whitehurst is another I havne't read, but have heard wonderful things about. It has been on my wishlist for a long time.

And then finally, of course -- Dr. Sears has a book on Christian Parenting.
Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen is wonderful. I haven't heard of this one. Where could I get a copy or see some reviews?
have to second Crystal's book
and Jeff's. I have both and love them...
See less See more
Families where Grace is in Place

Its a quick read, but its really a breath of fresh air. The subtitle is "Getting free from the burden of pressuring, controlling and manipulating your spouse and children." (I'm actually skimming it while I type because it has been awhile.) He splits the book between talking about marriage and talking about parenting. As far as parenting:

He talks about Bringing children up in the Lord as: creating an empowering environment and surrounding your child with grace-full relationship with the goal of raising a healthy person. So that is the positive. The trap that christians tend to fall into (as he articulates it) is: Creating an environment to control and punish with a goal of raising a person who only appears healthy. He says that doing this 2nd thing is "causing a little one to stumble." And not okay with God.

He says that grace and shame are opposites.

He says that a grace-full family has these characteristics:
1) Out-loud affirming (not shaming)
2) People oriented (not performance oriented)
3) Clearly spoken expectations (no hidden or unspoken expectations)
4) Communication is clear and straight
5) God is our Source (no idolotry)
6) Children are enjoyed (not given a hard time)
7) Responsibilty and accountablity (no faulting or blaming)
8) Head skills are used for learning (not for fighting)
9) Feelings are valid and useful
10) Its okay when our outside selves match our inside selves (no pretending to feel okay when we don't)

The language in this book is very "christianese" and it will appeal to church groups. It is concise and organized. Would make a great text for a disscussion group.

I got my copy from amazon.
See less See more
I have to second Crystal's book, Biblical Parenting is great!
See less See more
Dr. Sears has a book called "Christian Parenting" very GD. I know it's one of his older books and may be hard to find. I found a used copy on Amazon a few years ago.
Thank you all for your help I am trying to get better teaching materials into our church. I have a friend that is now in charge of the parenting classes at church. She HATED the Dobson series they just did and she HATES the message that the Pearls send. I told her I'd help her find better alternatives. She is a CDing BFing crunchy mama and she is motivated to make the proper acceptable changes. YAY
thank you mamaduck for the recommendations! I am going to request them from the library tomorrow
See less See more
wow, that's AWESOME to hear that an AP mama is making the library choices--yippee!!! Don't even let the pearls or ezzo's through the door!
Maybe a few, select Dobson titles....

My friend is reading Grace-Based Parenting by a Dr. Kimmel. don't know his first name. Great book, can't wait to borrow it! Our county library actually has it which is awesome!!

I want that Grace is in Place book. "quick read" is what I'm about, and it sounds very positive.

My same friend experimentally borrowed the Pearls book from someone at church, and oh MY! I read ONE PARAGRAPH and couldn't take it. How do people get sucked into this?? Good, Christian, thinking parents??? I guess that's OT but it just gets me all riled up.....

Have fun book shopping!!! Check over at too Lots of great info there.
See less See more
Grace Based Parenting is another pretty good one.

How Would Jesus Raise a Child is in paperback under the title "Jesus on Parenting"
I was going to start a new thread for this, but it works here.

I picked up this book at my local closeout store for $3 yesterday. I've only skimmed it so far but it looks pretty good. If anyone wants a copy they do have more, too.
See less See more
Thank you everyone for the wonderful list of books! I am adding some to my library list now!!!

Originally Posted by EmmaJean
My friend is reading Grace-Based Parenting by a Dr. Kimmel. don't know his first name.
Tim Kimmel is the author of Grace-Based Parenting and I LOVED it. The only fault I found was one referece to Similac when trying to make a point.

Other Christian parenting books I have enjoyed are:

How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell
The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

I've heard very good things about Biblical Parenting (mentioned in pp's), and it is on my wish list. I also own the Sears book called The Complete Book of Christian Parenting and Child Care.
See less See more
Tim Kimmel is the author of Grace-Based Parenting and I LOVED it. The only fault I found was one referece to Similac when trying to make a point.
thanks. this was in my "donate" pile simply because I've never had time to read it the way I like to read that sort of thing {read: without a headache, fighting kids, teething babies, hyper excited SIL, etc} think I'll pull it and put it in the someday box
I've heard from friends that Rivers of Grace is awesome.

For me, Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson (she and hubby have written a few others also) was one of the best books I"ve ever read!! Just a warning - the first few chapters are VERY SAHM oriented, so if you aren't a SAHM skip them and read the rest. Honestly, one of the best of any book I've read once I was past the first few chapters. (I do SAHM btw).
EmmaJean said:
How do people get sucked into this?? Good, Christian, thinking parents??? I guess that's OT but it just gets me all riled up.....
I don't wanna cause any controversy here or anything, but I wanna give you some insight here. I think knowing where people come from makes it easier to relate to them and hopefully teach them.
I wasn't raised in a Christian family. I became Christian at the age of 22. I always believed my mother's conncepts about scheduling your baby and not allowing children to sleep with you were great. I sucked up everything I could as a younng Christian. I got some misguided, but well-intentioned, input along the way.. But based on scriptures about advice and leadership, I followed what advice I was given. And I do believe God has blessed me because of my heart. I nannied for my sister and used the Ezzo method and it worked beautifully. When my niece reached toddlerhood, I read Tedd Tripp's book Sheparding a child's heart. I do believe some of his ideas are good, like getting to the heart of the situation and not just correcting behavior. I sought lots of advice and followed it. i truly believed that my niece's very salvation depended on her discipline, read spankings. Since I started training to be a midwife I have ben exposed to more AP/NFL stuff. I've also learned the balance of advice and searching the scripturers myself. AFter being a Christian 8 years. I think when you're trying so hard to get your kids to heaven, you lose sight of everything else and think that's the only way. Especially when people are showing you scriptures to that effect and the whole chirch believes the same way. We hear from people all the time at church about the way we do things, but I am also seeing more and more people at church going to the AP/NFL way. and when you see elders with kids whp are doing so well, it's easy to buy into their mentality. Thankfully for my dd, my insinct was way stronger than any of the pulls at church. Though, I do sometimes question myself. So when you approach these people, be armed with educational materials and studies and love and grace. That's what helped change my mind.

BTW, thanks for the references. I can't wait to grab up those books. Especially how would Jesus raise kids. Sorry to talk so long OT. I jsut think it's important for people to know where these Ezzo and Tripp and even Pearl followers are coming from, from someone w ho's BTDT.
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.