church today...parenting our gay children

1423 Views 16 Replies 10 Participants Last post by pdxmomazon, Jun 13, 2006

pinkmilk

Discussion Starter · Apr 3, 2006

Now that's why I take my kids to this particular church and that's why it's important to discuss issues of gay and lesbian...even if you're not ;persay.
Being a bi Mom it's important to me. All the kids sat at the front and were read a story about two little gay penguins...it was so awesome!! The whole morning was devoted to talking about acceptance, love and trust in the parent/child relationship. I got to "come out" to an older lady and explain to her how important I felt about my children being all encompassing about sexual identity. It's really, really important.

Dilogue = comfort = safety = coming out = community = love.

This is why discussion for all parents, gay, lesbian , bisexual, transgender, and all others is so important...so we can be the best parents we can be...so we can feel understood...so we can relate to our peers and have our thoughts and feelings validated...no matter what they are.

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

Finch

· #2 · Apr 3, 2006

Wow, that's really great. What kind of church do you attend? Kudos to them.

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pinkmilk

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 3, 2006

It's Unitarian. I feel weird telling you cuz really I don't yet understand all of their philosophies as we just started going... but they have great kids programs that focus on issues of justice, environment, and social change.

Finch

· #4 · Apr 4, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkmilk
It's Unitarian. I feel weird telling you cuz really I don't yet understand all of their philosophies as we just started going... but they have great kids programs that focus on issues of justice, environment, and social change.

Why feel weird? It's all good. I figured it was Unitarian, they are reputed to be very open like that. I really need to get off my butt and check one out.

Lucy VanPelt

· #5 · Apr 4, 2006

2

I figured it was UU or a derivative, too. That's so Unitarian and Universalist to be like that!

I think you will enjoy that church. Ask them for a book about their history, philosophies, etc. if you want to learn. They will help you out any way you'd like, I'm sure.

I've been attending our UU church off-and-on for about 3 years and I'm planning on becoming a member soon. It's nice to find comfort and community in a church, of all places.

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MidwifeErika

· #6 · Apr 4, 2006

Thanks for posting this! I have been trying for years to find a church that would support teaching my children to be open, loving, non-judgemental, etc. Now I have one more I can check out!

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Arwyn

· #7 · Apr 4, 2006

5

There are movements in lots of other religions/denominations to be as accepting and welcoming as UUs are (my parents belong to a Reconciling Congregation of United Methodists), but in no other organization that I know of (except, say, the Metropolitan Community Church) are you practially guaranteed to know that every congregation will be open and welcoming.

My parents' church is about as welcoming as they come (although there was a hubbub a few years ago when an out crossdresser actually came in her female persona

instead of just talking about it - a few heavy donaters left because of it.

), but the denomination as a whole is in a HUGE fight over the issue of inclusion and the "sin status" of GLBTQs and their ordination.

But yea. UUs rock.

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Jwebbal

· #8 · Apr 5, 2006

Quote:

But yea. UUs rock.

Why yes, yes we do!

I have been a Unitarian for ten years, and left my position as Director of Religious Education shortly after the birth of my son so I could be a sahm. I have found the church to be the best place for us as a lesbian parented family, and as a family with values of liberal religion and acceptance of varying belief systems (or none at all). I want my son to be able to find his own way in the church, not be taught what to believe.

pinkmilk

Discussion Starter · #9 · Apr 5, 2006

Yeh Jwebbal...I agree. It's important to me to that my kids explore different beliefs and decide on their own where they stand. I have 2 preteens that are such awesome kids but I worry cuz we live in redneckville Saskatchewan and there is so much repressed thought out there...gay becomes a funny word when you're in grade 4 and by the time you're in grade 7 well your getting into trouble for making a "gay pride" poster and showing your friends! Sigh...
I always thought how could my kids rebel against ME...a pinkhaired, open, fun-lovin, school-hatin' , bisexual , freespirit....well they follow the crowd and do what they think their friends think is cool.
Point...(relevant to the post) ... meeting up with other kids in this church and talking about issues is good for my kids because it's opening up a door for them to be open with their thoughts and learn from peers what I have been trying to teach them all along.

bjoy32

· #10 · Jun 7, 2006

Depending on how unspecified you are with religions, my family has been attending a UCC (United Church of Christ) church for a few months, which is Christian. The regular pastor is a gay married man, one of the guys who "fills in" for the pastor is a gay married man, and they're a very open church. I think (unlike the Metropolitan Community Church) there aren't necessarily any guarantees about openness...but the UCC was the first denomination to do a bunch of things...including ordaining gays & lesbians. We find it to be a great church that is still Christian (I come from a more conservative background that I'm not interested in sticking with, but we "think" we're still Christian!

) but not narrow or rigid, and very good at inclusive language and openness while still challenging in our faith journeys.

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frog

· #11 · Jun 7, 2006

I'm Episcopalian, and my parish is "open and affirming." It's a good place.

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PrairieBohemian

· #12 · Jun 9, 2006

My church actually advertizes in the Queer Listings for Sunday activities! Too bad it doesn't have a kids program yet. Its a metaphysical church based on Science of Mind teachings. The website (designed by dh) is here if anyone is interested: www.spirituallivingcentre.com

I've flipped back and forth from the Unitarians to the New Thought congregations. I like the "active" spiritual approach of New Thought but always feel welcome with the Unitarians too.

Arwyn

· #13 · Jun 9, 2006

That seems like a church that would embrace the movie What the [bleep] Do We Know, yes?

PrairieBohemian

· #14 · Jun 9, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwyn
That seems like a church that would embrace the movie What the [bleep] Do We Know, yes?

EXACTLY.

Arwyn

· #15 · Jun 10, 2006

I looked up RSI, and although there are FOUR churches in Oregon, the most northerly one is in Salem. Which is, what, an hour and a half south of here? Poot. Ah well, looks very cool.

PrairieBohemian

· #16 · Jun 10, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwyn
I looked up RSI, and although there are FOUR churches in Oregon, the most northerly one is in Salem. Which is, what, an hour and a half south of here? Poot. Ah well, looks very cool.

I really, really relate to the principles of RSI but I wouldn't go so far to say I am a Religious Scientist. I still balk at fully saying "I am ___". Right now the centre I attend feels like home and at one part in the service, the practicioner says "welcome home", and I truly feel it. I think there are 3 RSI churches in my city; I went to a larger centre to try it out and left after 10 minutes as it so WASN'T for me. My centre has about 30-50 members and is warm and intimate. I love it.

I guess what I am saying is even if the principles taught are the same, the variation from centre to centre can be night and day.

Good luck in your spiritual journey!

pdxmomazon

· #17 · Jun 13, 2006

we're active members of a United Church of Christ congregation here in Portland, and I must say that it's the most welcome I've ever felt in a spiritual community. However the UCCs are fairly decentralized, and not every congregation is open and affirming. In our small church we are one of three lesbian families with kids, and there are lots of kids under 10! So nice

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