[earthgirl]

So lately DD (almost 2.5) has been asserting herself a bit more. For the past 2 days we are having some real issues getting her to put her toys away when she's finished. She has usually been pretty good about cleaning up in the past. Typically, when she wanted to move on to something else I would tell her, "OK, let's put away ________ first. I can help you," or something along those lines. But it's not working anymore. It feels ridiculous trying to force her to clean up something, but I also don't want to be picking up the mess all of the time. I realize that in the big picture this is a minor issue, but I still don't know the best approach to take. Thoughts?

 

[mamazee]

My opinion is that at her age, she isn't going to be able to clean up after herself very well. And that if you set up power struggles, she'll grow up learning that this is something she has to be fought with to do. I have always just said, "Time to clean up now," and started cleaning, presenting it as something we do together, and my dd almost always would help. Now at 7 she'll always help, and she is a great deal of help, but she sometimes wants to do specific work - like she'll want to clean floors instead of picking up toys. I'm happy with whatever specific part of the cleaning job she wants to do.

Anyway, that's my method of dealing with this. It's more hands off than some are comfortable with, but it's worked for us. There are other ways of handling it too, but I personally doubt anything is going to work for a 2-year-old.

 

[kiwiva]

I agree with the pp. My DD is 2.5 and she often helps but sometimes not. I think that is normal for the age. She is learning that we pick up when we're done even if I am not forcing her to do it herself and even if I do end up doing all of it myself sometimes.

When she doesn't help, I will often hand her something and help her help me. They are wired to model behavior at that age so by putting it in her hand and doing it myself at the same time, she often cannot help but put it away and that can get her to continue.

I don't think it is worth it to make a big issue of forcing her to do it at this age, really. Makes sense what the pp said about that.

 

[earthgirl]

Well, I guess what's confusing it that I do typically start so that we're doing it together. I'll even tell her exactly what to pick up next and where to put it. So I'm just not liking that she suddenly stopped cooperating. But I guess I can just consider it a wacky 2 year old thing and just let it be. It's still annoying, though.

 

[Susan Kunkel]

I would only put out a few toys. Then when she is putting away what you put out add a few more.