[rnchrista]

We have very few clients that show any interest in catching their own baby. A lot dont even want to touch the babies head when crowning or provide their own perineal support.

For those of you that have a high percentage of moms/dads that catch their own baby, what do you attribute it to? Do they come to you interested in it or do you talk about it a lot before hand? How do you get parents to take an active role in the birth of their child?

Also, do you feel the care giver should provide perineal support if the moms don't do it themselves?

Thank you!

 

[MamaTaraX]

Before births, I ask moms (and dads) if they feel like they may want to touch the baby as it emerges. Most of the time they seem very interested in it "Can I really do that?" "I didn't know I could do that!" "nobody's ever talked with me about that before" Sometimes they are not "umm..no!" "that sounds kind of gross" "I'll get to touch the baby plenty after he/she is born" I write it down, make mental note. When they are in labor and the baby is coming, I ask, "would you like to touch your baby?" of all of them (even the skeptical ones and ones that flat out said no). I always ask. About half of the time they will touch the baby. Sometimes leaving their hands their a long time, sometimes touching and pulling away quickly. One ofmy favorite births was one where before the birth the mom said she didn't think she'd be too interested in that. So I asked during the birth. She put her hands down and felt her baby coming. The doc took a look at me, pushed her chair back, reclined, and moved out of the way. The mom reached down and caught her own baby! It was gorgeous...and caught on tape for her to remember forever

I gave that doc props for moving out of the way and realizing that the mom wanted to do that even though she didn't know beforehand that she did! After births I ask how they felt about touching/not touching and usually the ones who did not are okay with it, but occasionallywill say "I wish I would have..." and the ones who do touch are always "that was the most interesting thing!" I've only been to one other birth where the mom caught. I attended one where the dad and mom intended to catch together. It was with a CNM. There was an OB overseeing it and I don't know why but she decided to step in and stomp all over the parents wishes and the CNM even. Not only did the mom and dad not get to catch, the OB also refused to let their older son in the room to watch the birth and cut the cord

Namaste, Tara

 

[JeDeeLenae]

From my own experience, if you've never talked to the mom about it, it might just be a bit of a shock to her. With my first birth, none of that was offered or even a thought. With my second birth, the midwife said to reach down and grab him. (It took a second to realize what I was touching) And, my husband caught him which threw me off becaues I totally didn't know he had that option. I think if more moms (and dads) know they have the option to do that or are encouraged to do so, they'd be thrilled to. But, especially if it's in a hospital, I think they still have the idea that they have to be masked and gloved before touching the baby during birth.

 

[CEG]

With my first, I was asked if I wanted a mirror to watch her crown, I was in the moment with pushing and said no. I kind of wish I would have watched, but I think I needed to concentrate.
With my second baby my MW (same one as with my first) motioned my husband closer, grabbed his hands, and helped him catch the baby. He loved it and is very proud of himself- he says he has delivered more babies than me, LOL. I guess she took a chance but she knew us pretty well by then.

 

[Hayes]

From a mom's persepctive:

If I wanted to catch my own baby, I wouldn't have a midwife. I don't want to touch my baby as it is crowning. I am BUSY trying to push out said baby.

And how in the hell can I provide perineal support to myself. Again, I am busy. I don't think I could REACH my perineum while delivering.

I pusehd for almost 3 hours with my last birth. He had true SD for a few minutes. When he finally started to come out past his shoulders, I had no desire to do ANYTHING other than GET HIM OUT!

 

[MamaTaraX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hayes If I wanted to catch my own baby, I wouldn't have a midwife. I don't want to touch my baby as it is crowning. I am BUSY trying to push out said baby.

Had a midwife with my 2nd and my DH caught. Had a midwife with my 3rd, I caught. The midwives weren't there to catch the babies for us, they were there to ease my DH's mind

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hayes And how in the hell can I provide perineal support to myself. Again, I am busy. I don't think I could REACH my perineum while delivering.

It's not as hard as you might think. If you are really curious about such logistics, you might as the UC board

To each her own though. N ot every woman wants to touch her crowning baby. Not every woman wants to catch her own baby; not every father wants to catch their baby. (My DH now tells every daddy they should catch their babies! IT's great!)

Namaste, Tara

 

[Rockies5]

I provided support for myself for all of my babies (even the 2 hosp. births)

there's no way I could have caught them in the positions I chose, but I alsways made sure they had either a soft place to land or I called someone to catch them util I was ready to take them.

I'm surprised more people don't plan to catch their own babies.

IME, It's usually homebirth couples that plan to do this.

 

[pamamidwife]

I think it depends on what position the mom is in and where the midwife is.

For me, we talk about it prenatally. I usually bring it up in the interviews. I think people who are looking for a specific type of birth are more likely to hire me than just because I'm any old nice midwife.

My clients seem to choose waterbirth largely as a whole, and that helps. I don't put my hands in the water during waterbirths unless something is wrong! We sit back and the mom does it.

Women providing their own support as they're pushing is almost instinctive. I don't think it's something you can ask women to do at the time - it's too confusing and weird to bring up out of the blue.

If a woman does not do her own support, I don't touch her. I may do rectal counterpressure if women want it, but I don't usually touch much at all during the birth.

I usually just make sure, in land births, that there is a soft place for baby to land. I like to place the baby down on the towels/blanket before the mom if it's a land birth and have her pick up her own baby when she's ready.

 

[Seie]

My first birth was in hospital - and even though eventually I ended up with the lots - pitocin, epidural, scalp-ph, IV etc - when it came down to pushing then the midwife asked if I wanted a mirror to watch - I did and so they brought one. At that time it didnt occur to me at all to reach down - not because I didnt want to but simply because it was my first baby and I was too concentrated and busy to even get the idea. Someone did tell me to grab onto my thighs and I just said "no way" but when the MW suggested I touch my babys head then ofcourse I did and am happy for doing so now. I am also happy for watching everything in the mirror - it made me feel I took part as much as I could even if everything else had gone completely opposite from what I had wished for.

My mw applied a hot cloth to my perineum during crowning and I thought that was a great relief.

My second birth was a planned homebirth - unplanned unassisted most of the time. The MW arrived during crowning and the ONLY thing she did was to reach under me and catch as my baby came shooting out.
Before that I had not done any perineal support in particular - but I had instinctively grabbed down to reach for my babys head and I held my hand there through most of crowning I think. I had a first degree tear (not even worth mentioning- had the same tear for both births)

I dont think it ever hurts to suggest a birthing mother to reach down during crowning - she can always refuse if she feels she doesnt want to. I also dont think it can hurt to discuss this part of birth with the couple before the birth - if nothing else then to plant the idea in their minds before labor confuses everything..

 

[mandib50]

just a different perspective a bit - it didn't work out to catch my second baby and i had never even really thought about it ... and if it weren't at my midwife's urging to touch his head as he was being born and taking my hand to touch it (because i didn't want to) i would have never done it. it sounds interventive and disrespectful of my wishes but as soon as my hand was on his head i knew it was the right thing for her to do. i am ever grateful that she did that for me.
my next two of course i touched their heads as they were being born (on my own doing) and i caught my last (sticky shoulders with baby 3 so i couldn't catch - but would've caught her if i could have).

i think definitely this is something i would discuss in advance with my own clients when the day comes

 

[3daughters]

Personally, I was asked at 2 of my births whether I wanted to touch and declined the offer. Silly to say, but it gave me the willies.

As a doula, I've watched mothers touch their baby's crowing heads when pushing is so tiring and suddenly have renewed energy since they realize how close they are!

 

[momto l&a]

Dh catches our babies, I cant. I am a very flexable woman when preggo but there is no way I could possibly catch.

I do support my perinium when it feels right to do so. I also touch the babies head once it crowns but there is no possible way to catch. Thats fine though because dh loves to catch them

:

 

[vamp127]

With DD#2 (DC#3), I had an unassisted, natural birth in a hospital room. It was really a "homebirth" except at the hospital. No one believed me that I was that far along and the nurse didn't check me--told me to wait for the doc. When she started to crown, I made the nurse look and boy was she surprised because she hadn't even called the doc yet! I ended up reaching down and catching her. It was the most miraculous experience. I wish that I had followed my instincts better and just had homebirths in the first place.

 

[MamaRabbit]

With my 1st (hospital natural birth center), I was squatting on the floor, with a sprained ankle, and could hardly hold myself up, let along touch or catch. In fact, once she was out, all I wanted to do was lay down. Then they handed her to me.

With my 2nd at home, I was squatting on the floor again, and would've totally forgotten that I'd wanted to touch during crowning unless the midwife hadn't reminded. (I was disappointed not doing it with the 1st after a year+ of thinking about it). So I touched!

Now as I'm thinking about a 3rd, I've progressed to wanting DH or I to catch.

 

[Carolinamidwife]

Quote:

My clients seem to choose waterbirth largely as a whole, and that helps. I don't put my hands in the water during waterbirths unless something is wrong! We sit back and the mom does it.

Would this be something you had discussed prior to labor or do you find it's just instinctual that she will reach down? And what signs would you consider a sign of something being wrong?

In my school it is drilled into our heads to perform perineal support whenever possible and to ALWAYS guard the clitoris. I got yelled at once during a clinical exam lab for letting go up on top. So, we pretty much always do perineal support around here. The one midwife I saw do none her client had a nasty tear which could have just been coincidence but of course in my student brain that just reinforced doing support.

For my own homebirth I really thought I was going to hate perineal support. I didn't want any hands on my crotch at all which I now think may have been part of why I was so attracted to waterbirth. I had read and read and I knew I could do what I needed to do on my own. When Stella started to crown my instinct brain took over and I cupped her head in my hand and gently held her forehead back while she crowned. It was kind of cool realizing I did it on autopilot. But... at the same time my midwife had begin doing perineal support. At one point she stopped and I felt like I was going to rip straight up the front. I yelled at her to put her hands back because it was really helping.

I have to say that touching her head before she was born (I could actually feel her way before I started pushing and I was having no pain, her head was just sitting there at like a 0 station) was probably the coolest thing ever. Holding her head while she crowned was really empowering.

So... I guess I'm wondering if the mother is making no move to support herself would you move in?

 

[doula and mom]

I've never touched any of my kids' heads as they were crowning, although I was asked with my last birth (birth center). Honestly, I am not very flexible and can barely wipe my own ass when I'm pregnant; I'd probably dislocate a shoulder trying to feel the baby's head

But when we have #4 -- a long time from now -- we're going to have a homebirth and dh wants to catch.

 

[MistyB]

I am one of E and W's moms that had no desire....

I was offered the chance to feel and help with both Alec and Ella but in the moment, I had NO desire. Going into both births, I think it was something I knew I was possibly open to and not intimidated (in theory) by in the least. But when both kiddos were crowning, I had such a stong desire to only focus on myself. If E hadn't had been right there, I still don't think I would have tried perineal support or to catch. I think I would had put myself into a position where Ella would have just slid out and then I would have grabbed her when she was almost totally out.

Distraction...I think it all boils down to distraction. In that moment, I had no desire to be distracted from staying as centered or focused. Maybe fear that if I focused on my partially birthed child that I could not refocus or remain as calm to finish getting them out?

 

[Patchfire]

I wanted more than anything to catch ds. I told everyone that - dh, my friend that was being my doula, my mom, my midwife, everyone.

And, wouldn't you know it, the only position that felt right for pushing was standing up and then leaning over on the side of the pool, a sort of modified hands and knees things. There was absolutely no way that I could have caught in that position.

I always had imagined giving birth to #2 in a standing squat or full squat, but in both of those positions, it hurt, and I could tell that all the pushing was ineffective, my uterus wasn't propelling him down very much, et cetera.

So, depending on the situation, you could have a client who's faced with choosing between listening to her body (for position) and listening to her head/heart (for what she wants to do). For me, not being able to catch ds is probably my only regret from his birth.

 

[pamamidwife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheena Would this be something you had discussed prior to labor or do you find it's just instinctual that she will reach down? And what signs would you consider a sign of something being wrong?So... I guess I'm wondering if the mother is making no move to support herself would you move in?

No, I am not a believer in perineal support during birth. I do not move in if mom isn't doing it herself. In the water, the baby slides out into the water and women QUICKLY reach down to pick the baby up.

If the head is out and it's not rotating (then again I don't often see the heads, the mom may just say, "oh, the head is out"), I may intervene.

 

[Carolinamidwife]

That's cool, Pam. So, you don't do any maneuvers at all. Do you see many tears? When the baby comes on it's own does the posterior shoulder deliver first?