[OTMomma]

I need some perspective and I hope you ladies can help me find that.<br><br>
Here's my story: I have been ttc #2 for a year now. My dd turned 3 in July- we night weaned at 32 months, and since then dd has cut herself back to nursing much less. She will sometimes skip entire days of nursing and then nurse 3-4x the next day. I also have symptoms of hormonal imbalance. Dh and I want anther child, and dd has been asking for a sibling. It really looks like I will be unable to concieve while nursing, (though I know many of you are able) and I am not comfortable doing fertility treatments while nursing.<br><br>
I really think dd could keep up this level of nursing for way over a year. If I get pregnant soon, my children will be 4 years apart- which I think is about the furtherest apart in age that children really play well together. So I'm wondering- do you think the benefits of CLW outweigh the benefits of having a sibling?<br><br>
I never really thought much about CLW, I had a goal of nursing 1 year, then 2, then trying to let dd nurse until, well, I never had a plan after that, and I'm trying to find one.<br><br>
Thank you for your supportive advice.<br><br>
Laura

 

[stafl]

Yes, I really do/did believe that the benefits of nursing the child I already have/had greatly outweigh the chance that I might get pregnant again. It took a little longer than most (I have issues that affect my fertility, too) but it happened on its own without denying my daughter the nursing that she most definitely needed in many ways. My doctor told me it wasn't possible, that I was lucky to have gotten pregnant in the first place. I have had many losses, as well, so for me, pregnancy is no guarantee of having a baby, so I chose to put my existing child's needs first. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Rainbow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rainbow peace">

 

[OTMomma]

Stafl, thanks for your response. I'm sorry for your losses.<br><br>
I had good resolve to nurse dd as she needed until she turned 3, then I sort of lost it. I find myself questioning wether she really does need it, and how much benefit she's gettng from it. I never questioned that when she was younger. I also have a lot of pressure from those around me to wean, so I feel like I need to have a stronger resolve.<br><br>
Being the Mama is hard.

 

[stafl]

There is no question in my mind that DD1 still needs to nurse. No, she obviously does not need it for nutrition anymore, but whenever we are having behavioral problems, I know that if I nurse her everything gets better. I know that when she throws big fits, it's a sign that she hasn't nursed quite often enough lately. That for me is all the evidence I need to continue to nurse her as long as she continues to ask for it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Rainbow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rainbow peace"><br>
You gotta do what's best for both you and your child. Most children do not have such a strong need to nurse that mine does. She's a very highly "spirited" child, and suffered major birth trauma as well. She was unable to nurse the first three months of her life, and as hard as I fought to get breastfeeding to work, there's just no way I can put an end to it before we are both ready. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[momsgotmilk4two]

I think it depends on the child. If weaning is going to be difficult and traumatic, my decision would be different than if I thought it was going to be relatively easy. All things being equal, I think the benefits of having a sibling outweigh the benefits of CLW. That is just my opinion for my family though, I'm not saying I think *you* should wean if that isn't what you want. I was fortunate enough to not have to choose (I got pg with ds 2 when ds 1 was still nursing, and then I tandem nursed) but I've had friends who have made the decision to wean in order to get pg, and they have not regretted their decisions. I think you need to do what is best for your family.

 

[bobandjess99]

I am starting to think about this too. I had to use fertility drugs to get pg with my first, so I struggle with my desires for more children and being the best mother i can to the one i already have....Realistically, I think that I will potentially have to wean my dd when I want another. I want a 3-4 year spacing, so that means weaning at 2 1/4-3 years. I already lust after having another baby, but I know I could not parent 2 the way i want right now, I am still too tired and need to get dd a little older before i think about doing this again, lol. We will have to see hat happens when the time comes......I have not had AF return, but dd is only 11.5 months, and before i got pg, i never had AF anyway, unless i took drugs, so I'm not surprised.