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I only have one child who is, as of today (Happy Birthday DD!) 2 years old. Such a milestone for us!<br><br>
I want to know how many of you CLW your first children and if you did, if you planned on CLW from the start or just kinda evolved to it?<br><br>
I ask because I'm, in all honesty, not 100% committed to CLW. It sounds good in theory and I support those that do. My DH is okay with it, too. . .so there are no "logistics" in the way. But somehow, I'm still apprehensive to commit myself 100% to it.<br><br>
I've been taking the "1 day at a time" approach for the last 6 mos or so. As long as things are agreeable for DD and me, we will continue nursing. For me, it's that there would have to be a reason to stop, not a reason to continue. Continueing BFing and practicing CLW is the default.<br><br>
But I'm concerned that something <i>will</i> come up, mainly that I'll grow sick of it and resentful. I want to give myself permission to gently wean then if that's the case. I don't want to be miserable doing it. . but if things continue as they are, then I could see us CLWing.<br><br>
So that's my story, I guess. I'm not sure if I officially belong here since my DD is barely 2, but I thought I'd post.<br><br>
So those who CLW your first, what was your path that took you there?
 

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Hi,<br>
I am in the same boat. DD is actually my second. But we have every intention to clw so long as no issues such as you described come up. So far, I have no qualms, though she asks for "Mommy milk" a lot. I tend to give in since I am in constant motion unless someone makes me sit and relax<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> .<br>
A very good friend of mine began to have resentment issues and did a bit of weaning, though very gently, at about 2 1/2. Her dd weaned pretty quickly (she was then pregnant with her 2nd). I think it may have been a bit harder on her than her dd. It can feel like such a loss. But, if it is no longer a "healthy" bf'ing relationship, it is probably good in the long run for both mama and dd/ds.<br>
My DH only mentions weaning when dd has whining "I want Mommy milk" moments when I am not there. He offers her a cup of milk or water--but she is generally asking for comfort. Otherwise, he agrees with gentleness and clw as well.<br>
Thanks for starting htis thread. Looking forward to reading other's experiences.
 

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I would consider the way DS#1 and I weaned to be child led...he was giving all the signs that he was 'finished' and I kind of went with the flow...I had honestly never even given it a thought and didn't know there was a name to it (or rules either!!) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I was 19 when I had DS#1, so I literallly learned how to parent by following his cues. I was ready to be finished, DS#1 was beginning to exhibit behaviors that led me to believe he would be okay if we began the weaning process.<br><br>
I circled a date on the calendar about 3-4 months out (I can't remember which it's been so long!) and told him that on this date, Momma wouldn't have any more milk left. We began to slooooowly cut out nursings (watching to make sure he wasn't missing them/wasn't stressed). We did a lot of different activities to make sure he wasn't thinking about nursing at his normal times (only cutting one feeding at a time). By the time this date came around, we really didn't have any more milk left and he didn't even notice. About 6 mo after he weaned (he weaned at approx 3.5 yrs) he hurt himself and wanted to nurse. I let him and he was suprised and said he was finished, that he didn't want to nurse because I didn't have any more milk. And that was it!<br><br>
I completely support weaning when you begin to become resentful. I believe that breastfeeding is a relationship and as such, requires complicity on the part of BOTH parties.<br><br>
However, I think the BEST advise I ever got was:<br><br>
Don't consider weaning when you've had a really bad day, bad nursing experience, whiny kid hanging on your boob all day, frustrated, unable to letdown because of stress, etc....wait a week or two and think about weaning on a GOOD day. One where your child pats your cheek while nursing, or falls asleep smiling with milk dribbling down their chin, or kisses your breast and says good morning to your nipple <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> . If you still want to go forward with weaning on THAT day, then it's the right thing for you.
 

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Dd self-weaned, and I definitely did not have any intention of CLW, per se. I remainded convinced that she would undoubtedly be 'done' around age two. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Eventually I realized that she wouldn't stop nursing during that year unless I was firmly leading the way and really, dragging her kicking and screaming towards it. So I read more about weaning and sort of came to the realization that I was already acting as if we were going to do CLW. And we kept it up.<br><br>
She nursed for five years and two days. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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First off good on ya for nursing for 2 years! It is such a wonderful gift to give you lil girl!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Keep it up as its so wonderful for both of you!<br><br>
Now on to your question:<br><br>
I knew when I was pregnant I would nurse, co-sleep and attachment parent.<br>
My family thought we were nuts and said over and over that I would quit nursing after a few days.<br><br>
When my son was born it was soooo hard to get him to nurse. My milk also did not come in for 3 days. We ended up having to use a supply line as my son lost over a pound in the hospital and had a very high fever (105).<br>
After going to the lactation consultant a few times we finally got it down! Ohh I was so happy when I was actually able to just breastfeed without it resulting in tears from both of us.<br><br>
When he was around 2 months old I knew I would nurse for at least a year, but at around 6 months I knew I would keep nursing him until he was ready to wean. I don't know why but I just knew thats what was right for him. Now I have a LOVELY 4.5 year old little boy that is secure and is very healthy.<br><br>
So it was not planned from the start but when he was younger than a year I knew it was just right for him.
 

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Well, my baby's not even one yet, but I plan to CLW. My views have evolved, and the longer I bf DD, the longer I plan to. I want to make it to at least 2 and let her go from there. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm like you, I would need a reason to stop, not a reason to continue.
 

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I guess, since my kid turned 4, this would be a good time to admit I'm now CLW! I never intended that and I think I have some old posts to prove it.<br><br>
As she got older - 18 months - 2 years, I set enough limits on her nursing until I was comfortable with it. And went from there. I'm comfortable at this point with every few days, but not every day at the same time.<br><br>
I think you're doing just fine!
 

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I always planned on CLW, even with my first, but I had a VERY unrealistic view how that would go (nursing a few times a day during the second year, only nursing to sleep by two, weaning shortly after...). I haven't truly CLW with either (DS is still nursing at 5.5) but it is my ideal.
 

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Totally fell into it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Knew I would BF at least a year. Figured we'd just go until one of us decided it was enough. Fell into Tandem nursing as well. Just thought if he weans b/c I'm pg, then OK, if not, that's OK too.
 

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We didn't plan it. In fact, I remember when ds1 was born, my dh asked me how long was I supposed to do this, and I said I dunno, I think they say a year?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
But ds never seemed ready to let it go, and I did not want to take away something both he and I loved so much, so we let it go until he was ready to stop.<br>
Now, with ds2, we are planning to do clw.
 

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When I was pregnant I said I'd nurse for 2 years. By the time my oldest turned 2 I was set on CLW. Now he's 4 and a quarter and I think I may mama-led wean him sometime, but I'd prefer for him to self-wean. I am getting sick of nursing! And if my littlest keeps up like he's going, I may give him a little nudge towards weaning around 2.5-3... he's just not as attached to it as my oldest nursling is and always has been. So I'll tell you whether I did CLW after my kids are weaned! It's too early to say IMO.
 

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I didn't plan on clw, as I was only 20 when my oldest was born, but nursing just kept feeling right, and it was so easy! He self weaned early in my next pregnancy, when he was 3 1/2 or so. I do think he might have nursed a bit longer if I hadn't become pg, but even before that, he was nursing only once or twice a day, sometimes skipping days. They've all nursed progressively longer, with my 3rd son weaning shortly after his 6th birthday. I weaned my middle son at about 4 years old, because of hyperemesis with my subsequent pregnancy. I still feel badly about it, like I cheated him! Poor Andrew. I don't think he holds it against me, but I wish I'd perservered.
 

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When DD was born, I didn't know much about extended nursing and I had never heard of CLW. When she was a couple of months old, I got weepy every time she nursed just thinking about how I was supposed to wean her at 1 year. Then I found MDC...and I'm committed to extended nursing and probably CLW. DD (13 mo) is sooo attached to nursing that I cannot imagine a time when she will not want to nurse. In reality, I think that she will self-wean when I get pregnant again (probably in another year or so). But if she doesn't, I'll let her nurse so long as I'm okay with it physically and mentally.
 

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Just before my son's 3rd b-day I noticed that he would go days without nursing, then just as suddenly decide that he needed a snack while I was nursing his sister (they are 17 months apart). I had never set a weaning date so I guess I was all for CLW, but I did start to encourage his lack of interest in nursing. He nursed last about 1 week after he turned 3.<br><br>
Part of me wishes I wouldn't have encouraged his weaning because it wasn't long there after dd pulled her mouth from my breast, with milk running down her chin and said, "Bubby, no nee-nee?" I told her, "No, he's a big boy, no more nee-nee." She went back to nurse for about 1 minute then sat up, pulled down my shirt, looked me in the eye and said, "I big, nee-nee all done." She never again asked to nurse, and I was so sad to end that chapter...sometimes I still am, and they are 8 and soon to be 10. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/crap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crap">
 

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We evolved into it. When DS was new, I didn't even think about how long he might need to nurse, I just focussed on each day as it came.<br><br>
Then a college friend sent me a copy of Mothering Magazine in which there was an article about CLW (or something related, as well as a letter from a Wiccan midwife), and the seed was planted. I did more reading, and it just made sense to me, and ultimately to DH too, to let the child lead on this particular need. So, before he was one, I'd made the decision that unless medical necessity dictated otherwise, I'd let him nurse as long as he needed.<br><br>
For DS, that turned out to be about a month past his 5th birthday.<br>
For DD, whom then 8 yo DS said to "raise this one the same way you raised me", that turned out to be about 4 months past her 7th birthday.<br><br>
Bear in mind that at those ages, most have tapered down to rather less than once/day or once/week.
 

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By the time I got pregnant with my first I had decided we would do clw.
 

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I definately didn't plan it. At first I thought I'd try for 6 months. When I found out more about formula I decided she'd never have any! By the time she turned 2 I knew that she wasn't going to stop any time soon. I just let it go naturally, and thanks to MDC I got that extra support. My dh was all for it.Dd told me she didn't need anymore mommy milk one month before she turned 4. She's asked a few times in the past 3 months including last night. She tried said "no milk...oh wait there is" but I'd say she self weaned.
 

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I CLW my first, who is eighteen years old, so please forgive me if my memory is a bit vague at times. IIRC, I intended to let her nurse as long as she wanted "Even if she was two years old!" but I received a lot of negativity about that idea and people laughing and saying I'd change my tune when she got teeth or when I had to go back to work and put her in daycare or when my husband "got sick of that nonsense and put his foot down".<br><br>
I evolved by the time she was two. I had plenty of support from LLL by then and when I got pregnant again, there was no question at all that we would tandem and that dd would keep going as long as she wanted. She chose to wean very gradually and painlessly and we both treasure our memories of our nursing relationship, although it doesn't come up much in conversation unless she is urging me on to be a bit more outspoken about lactivism.
 

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I CLW DD1. I guess I always planned to because I never had a time frame in mind, never thought about when she wouldn't be nursing, etc... we just took it one day, month, year, whatever at a time.<br><br>
She is 4, and I guess she is done, she has only asked a couple times in the last 4 months. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I did not CLW my first, and it was a very sad experience. It contributed to my passion to CLW with my second which I did.<br><br>
In the middle of it, it was sometimes hard. I liked the advice to set small goals like taking it one day, one week, one month or longer at a time. I did things to renew my commitment like buying a nice nursing dress if I felt doubtful, going to LLL meetings regularly.<br><br>
I think giving yourself permission to wean can actually help you to nurse longer! Paradoxical, isn't it?
 
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