I have been a stepmom for 8 years now. Initially, when our relationship was a little rocky, DH was mostly in charge of communication with BM and they mostly used text because they found that it allowed them to think about the things they were saying before they said them (versus verbal communication).Hi all,
I'm new here, and I was hoping to pick your brain about how you communicate and share information with your child's other caregivers. I'm especially interested in the tools/tricks of blended families that feel like they're excelling in communication, planning and scheduling.
So my main questions are:
1. How do you share/give information to the other co-parent? Phone, Email, Text, Note-passing?
2. What aspect of co-parenting has been the hardest? (ex. syncing information, scheduling, communication, other?)
3. What are the tools you'd suggest for someone just beginning as co-parents? (google calendar, record keeping tools?)
4. What are the potential minefields for those just entering into this family arrangement?
5. Has technology helped the parents of today? (I've researched some parenting apps that attempt this.) Have you tried these apps/software? What worked for your family and what didn't?
I know I'm asking some largeish questions here, but I would really appreciate any input you may have.
These days we are all close friends and we talk freely by text or phone. The four of us, (BM SM BD and SD) all have a google calendar we use to schedule visitation time, extra curricular and school events. Occasionally we used to bicker over who had her when, but now we can always refer to the calendar. I would HIGHLY recommend this method.
You definitely need to be respectful in the beginning and not step on any toes. At the same time, I disagree that step parents are not parents. As a step mom, I do occasionally get vetoed on some things but SD knows she is expected to obey me just like any other parent, teacher or coach. Thankfully her BM supports me with this. There was one time during the early years where she threatened to tell her BM how mean I was being (would not allow her to touch things that are glass and cost $300 in a store and proceeded to pitch a fit in the store) and I said "tell her yourself" and dialled the phone for her. She cried to her BM who promptly told her to smarten up or risk being grounded twice, once at each house.